Flanked by his SXSW-bound entourage, Quentin Tarantino reportedly showed up at Zeitgeist before sundown last night. He hung around signing autographs and carrying on until after midnight. -- ASD Staff Report
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It's Monday, January 28, as we bid adieu to all the gutbusting laughs incurred from SFSketchfest. The Kids in the Hall tribute was a proper way to send it off, but more on that later. The laughs don't have to end, as the Jerk himself Steve Martin's in town this week. This is your Monday Morning Hangover. Our fearless leader and Web Editor David Downs is M.I.A. like a Sri Lankan revolutionary emcee, so this is his evil minion Oscar Pascual, filling in as manservant Hecubus for today.
That serves as a good segue for today's video. Kids in the Hall performed many a classic sketch this weekend, but didn't bust out an appearance from Sir Simon Milligan and Hecubus. Find out what it really means to be EVIL:
Genius, I say. So what went down last weekend? Like, freakin' a lot, buddy. We've got words and pictures from all the neat functions:
-A concert review of Liars/No Age
-Pictures from Suite Jesus Loves the Ladies at Minna Gallery
-A show review of Kids in the Hall tribute
Plus all the regular content you've come to know and love:
It's Monday, January 21st, and SF Sketchfest is in full swing. The Daily Show's John Oliver appears at Cobb's Friday, and John Vandersclice appears with The State's Michael Showalter tonight. Also, first person to comment on this post with a valid sfweekly.com account (register here) gets a free pair of tix to the show of their choice at Cafe Du Nord / Swedish American Music Hall. This is Your Monday Morning Hangover, I'm the web editor, David Downs.
First the video: Trailer from black comedy TEETH, screening Friday 01.25 in SF. Must See TV, this is.
Second the audio: Download brand new stuff from Oakland indie/garage rock band The Heavenly States' new track "The Race" from their March release 'Delayer.' (Right click or control-click and save as.)
So, what happened this weekend? SF Weekly went out and DID WORK, but none of it is in. We will soon have:
-A concert review of Cornelius.
-A show review of Friday's live Dr. Katz and Sunday's Freaks and Geeks Q&A.
-A show review of the Sex and Art Workers Show at the Victoria Theater.
And this week, we rule your monitor with:
It's Monday, January 14th, and the invasion has begun. Be on the lookout for the doofy, the doughy — the Mac pack. The Macworld Expo starts tomorrow at Moscone Center. Apple CEO Steve Jobs wants to give you a shiny new tool for that grotesque utility belt you're developing, and no doubt you'll be fingering said tool on our MUNI by Wednesday. Well, we bide our time pretending to read the paper, knowing the tumor is metastasizing nicely in your right ball. Welcome to Your Monday Morning Hangover, I'm the web editor, David Downs.
SF Weekly went out and DID WORK this last weekend. We got:
-Pictures from the Shooting Gallery opening
My girlfriend just got back from Juno, and now she's all in love with it, too. "You would really love this movie," she says. Probably, but you know what? Fuck Juno.
There's nothing funny or precious about teen pregnancy. It's an ongoing, real-time national tragedy that ruins girls' lives. "If my daughter got pregnant at 16, all this work would be for nothing," says my 22-year-old new-Dad friend. "I would tell her, 'Darling, all is lost.'"
Juno is just implied teen preggo porn for nerds, who can only handle their teen preggo porn as an implication. "Now, now, it's a big jump from Juno to teen preggo porn," some may scoff, but I disagree.
Start with Juno, recall Britney's 16-year-old sister leading by knocked up example, then take another step backward to a preggo, 12 year-old-looking Christina Aguilera on the cover of Marie Claire this month, and the next step is a full-on societal fascination with underage insemination.
It's all on the same continuum, people! Can we not wait to impregnate our new uteri till they're 18? Jesus! ...
Welcome to Your Monday Morning Hangover, I'm the web editor, David Downs.
Um, what happened this weekend? Besides the five-year storm and Juno warming gonads across the nation — we were at Erik Otto's opening of "The Calm Before the Storm," which was dope. Other than that we kicked it and tried not to drown.
This week, we rule your monitor. Every day, Laser-Guided Awesome gathers life hacks for cheaper, easier more fun to use San Francisco
Every Monday: SF Government InAction tells you what's going to happen this week at City Hall, and Raiders Suck Niners Suck wraps up its sucky coverage for the season.
(Members of the annual Santa flash mob Santacon enjoy some of the season's finest. Photo by Gretchen Robinette)
Thank Christ, we made it to the week before Christmas. Man, this year sucked ass in so many new ways. Now, all that's left is some b.s. work and two, four-day weekends (maybe five-day weekends if we can swing it), full of playing with our new Wii. Heheh.
This weekend sort of kicked ass, and we're not too hungover. We saw the six-minute prologue to the new Batman and it ruled. Heath Ledger as the Joker looks creepy, and the hyper-violence is going to rule. Then I Am Legend came on, and the Fresh Prince was actually tight, son! We love ourselves some apocalypse tales, even if they mangle the book.
Today, our MySpace is blowing up with some old flames looking for holiday ass during the trip home and that almost makes up for the fact that the weather is supposed to stay shitty through the week. This is your Monday Morning Hangover, I'm your weatherhuman, David Downs.
We start with the quick A/V hit: Invisible Master Tetris. (Watch for the end when the pieces go invisible and homeboy still wins.)
Holy, fuck. That man is a Tetris robot.
And now the audio: "3s and 7s" from Queens of the Stone Age, who play two rocking nights here Thursday and Friday at the Warfield. Bow to their superior desert skills.
So, besides all the killings in Richmond, what else happened over the weekend?:
--Good thing you asked, the annual drunken Santa flash mob destroyed some childlike illusions about that lush St. Nick.Look upon our coverage and bookmark our RSS feed, SF.--Hipster craft fair Bazaar Bizarre made our reporter go all gushy for plush uterus. Mmm, plush uterus.
--And the Obama Crew in Oakland got an SF Weekly tail looking to tell a tale of (non-)blackness over uterus in 2008.
On the schedule this week:
-- Every Monday at 9 a.m.: San Francisco Government InAction briefs you on The Man's anti-fun agenda.—While our weekly Bay Area Football feature RaidersSuckNinersSuck tears our sucky teams a new one like they were an ACL.
—Every Tuesday at 10 a.m., San Francisco blogs and we profile it in a post titled Ty Callister's BetterKnowAnSFBlog.
— Also every Tuesday at 10 a.m., we hold a Lowbrow Art Sale, curated by Josh from Creep Machine
—Every Wednesday at 9 a.m., talking about music is like dancing about architecture, so just swear off literacy and drink from our weekly "SF Music Stream".
— Also every Wednesday, we justify the need for an electoral college with Kings of Commenting, the best and worst in SF Comments.
— Lastly, every Wednesday, Laser-Guided Awesome makes San Francisco cheaper, easier and more fun to use through the new tools of the Net.
—Every Thursday, we're plotting a coup.
—And every Friday at 9 a.m. we Pre-Party hearty, cus we have back-up livers on ice in Indonesia.
Naturally, we also feel compelled to attend this week's paucity of shows like:
Van Halen at Oracle, Queens of the Stone Age with Jaguar Love at The Warfield, and "A Bluegrass Christmas" featuring only the best from The Earl Brothers, Belle Monroe & Her Brewglass Boys, Blue and Lonesome
Yes, it's a slow week. So, what? We can't just hang out with our friends and press hash? Why can't we take it easy, too? We are so putting our feet up. We've earned it, and so have you. Welcome to the end of '07. Time to mail it in, kids. —d2, out
(Your Monday Morning Hangover hits at 9-ish a.m. every Monday morning with a weekend wrapup, plus a weekly news and culture outlook, because we feel sorry for you clowns — driving your clown cars to your clown offices where you do clown work and lunch on clown food.)
(Tori, tori, tori | Photos By Ariel Soto)
Ok, we are officially in the Holiday Spirit. We've found our drinking rhythm and today we're not nearly as hungover as at the Pre-Party. We even went so far as to tip the Bayshore tree lot guy $10 on a $40 tree, because we were high. On spirit.
Now this fat, squat, Noble fir motherfucker is upright in our living room, glowing with the light of 1,000 LEDs. We're loving that smell of desiccating coniferous evergreen and we imagine all the surviving Christmas trees respond in kind — hanging humans out to dry in the deep forest, enjoying the fragrance of our essential oils and volatile organic compounds as we rot and decompose.
See, that pine smell is basically like b.o., but for a tree. And we wholeheartedly support the pit-stank of nature. This is your Monday Morning Hangover, I'm your CSI, David Downs.
We start with the quick A/V hit:
'Dorks Launch Flight of the 23-foot, $7,000 model X-Wing' (Good shit at minute 2)
You say the vid is old? From November 27? Ehh, fuck it, it's news to us. Stop hanging around YouTube so much. And now the Audio from L.A's acoustic/death metal/folk star Nate Denver. Stream that shit. He's going to be a star.
Now, WTF happened this weekend? Once again, we were everywhere and nowhere, like Jesus himself. We simultaneously ranked up 20 times on Call of Duty 4, while going to all this stuff. Since we're omniscient, bitches, we caught:
--Tori Amos bringing the American Doll Posse to the Paramount. Love America's weird girls. Photog Ariel Soto put in work.
(Anne Faith Nicholls at her 'Low Tide Collection' in Shooting Gallery SF Friday | Photos By Gretchen Robinette)
We hope you enjoyed that minor lull between the Turkey Holocaust last week and the upcoming Holiday Party/Hanukkah/X-Mas Shit Train which should start any minute now. Have you got your stupid tree yet? Gone caroling? You make us sick.
This is the Monday Morning Hangover, I'm your bloodshot-eyed Web editor, David Downs.
We start with the quick distraction:
Radiohead's new video for "Bodysnatchers."
Kick arse. If only SF bands could rock half as hard. Maybe they need to go to Oxford first.
Now, WTF happened this weekend? Glad you asked, because we were fucking everywhere, dawg. We were on the SF scene like hunger on hobo. All you pretenders can step down now, 'cus check this:
--18-piece neo-disco act Escort kept the coke noses leaking at Mezzanine. Photog Gretchen Robinette captured souls.--Circus Oz abused women with sledgehammers at UC Berkeley. Ariel Soto got the goods.
--Hair farmers Iron and Wine folked up the Paramount. Also Soto.
--A Super-Indy Xmas went down at Bottom of the Hill with Cold Hot Crash. Our Ty Callister was there.
--Shooting Gallery debuted work from Anne Faith Nicholls. So hot! Photos by Gretchen Robinette.
--Aimee Mann kept Xmas boozy at Bimbo's. Thanks, Soto.
--And Oakland's The Heavenly States polluted our photog Gretchen Robinette.
Look upon our slideshows and weep for your lame social life, SF.
On the schedule this week:
--Today: SF GovernmentInAction briefs you on some oil spill hearings and more antibusiness legislation from the commies at City Hall.--And RaidersSuckNinersSuck briefly puts his cup of Haterade down to better rest his chin near the base of Jamarcus Jamillions' 10-inch dong.
--Plus, new stories on SF's retarded gun buyback program.
--And a profile of a guy who shot Craig Newmark and all his neighbors, and is now net-famous.
--Tuesday, Ty Callister's BetterKnowAnSFBlog trolls the blogosphere for local delicacies.--Wednesday we're starting "HuMP3 Day" with music from all the new music stories we wrote. And we also offer the week's Kings of Commenting! Because there's nothing funnier than blind reader rage.
--Thursday, we're resting for our Holiday Party at the Aquarium, sponsored by our life-long homies Samuel Adams and Jack Daniel's.
--And Friday we Pre-Party hard with Sharon Jones and the First Thursday art crowd.
Naturally, we will be at more great shows this week, including:
Vampire Weekend, Six Organs of Admittance, Tegan and Sara, Tori Amos, Modest Mouse, Spoon, Melt Banana, XBXRX, Andrew Bird, Prefuse 73, and Nude Aid -- at the Center for Sex and Culture
See how much more we do than you? And yet you still question us. One day you will shut up and take your medicine. Till then, sayonara, rubes.
(Your Monday Morning Hangover hits at 9-ish every Monday morning with a weekend wrapup plus a weekly news and culture outlook, because we feel sorry for you clowns — driving your clown cars to your clown offices where you do clown work and lunch on clown food.)
(Monotonix at the Knockout, by John Graham)
Welcome back from the holiday, turkeys. Our G-I tracts have shut down in protest of the weekend's overwork. We're backed up like the I-5 coming out of L.A. Our janitor will be earning his keep this week.
So today is "cyber monday," evidently; the day Americans waste $488 million in productivity buying crap online instead of working. We don't believe that figure from today's Examiner, but we don't care, cus you're wasting your time with us. Ha-ha! Welcome to the Hangover, I'm your web editor, David Downs.
Let's start with a quick distraction:
1) An Intro to Hip Hop Stats, by Oscar Pascual. Just in case you wondered how to graph the scientific fact that 'bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.'
Now that you've upgraded your grey matter, WTF happened this weekend?
Aside from the usual shootings and car wrecks:
-- Monotonix and Triclops! tore up the Knockout and John Graham has pics and the story.--And "Let It Snow!" opened at the Phoenix Theater, for those into improv holiday theater musicals. (Four words that should never be out together, IMHO.) Ariel Soto brought back these shots.
On the schedule this week:
--Today: SF GovernmentInAction briefs you on everything NOT happening this week at city hall.--And RaidersSuckNinersSuck tears local Bay Area NFL a new one.
-- MUNI sucks donkey dick. Joe Eskenazi explains how MUNI's boss makes more than his peers in New York or Chicago.
--Tuesday, BetterKnowAnSFBlog trolls the blogosphere for local delicacies.--Wednesday we offer the week's Best In Comments! Yay! We hate you fockers.
--Thursday, we're figuring it out..
--Friday we Pre-Party hard with Circus Oz in Berzerk-town, ColdHotCrash, Comedians of Comedy, the Shooting Gallery and too much more.
And, of course, we will be at more great shows like:
--Pebble Theory at the Slims (Friday)--Escort at Mezzanine on (Friday).
That's it, retards. Enjoy your cybersex Monday.
(boner-killing dude ass courtesy of TrannyShack 2007)
We do not recommend drinking several Racer 5s at Toronado and then smoking some indoor -- unless you like blackouts and the spins. [Arrg] It's Monday at 8 a.m.(ish) and the ice pick in our temple has a message for you all. "Die, scum." Welcome to the Hangover, I'm your web editor, David Downs.
Let's start with two distractions:
1) The 20 Most Disappointing Simpsons Moments Ever
2) Radiohead's chilled "House of Cards" off of their new album 'In Rainbows'.
[Sigh] Now, ... WTF happened this weekend?
--Kooza opened in San Francisco and our Audrey Fukuman reviewed. Punch a clown if you see one, eh?--Madlib and Stone's Throw hot boxed [[link]] the Independent. Oscar Pascual endured the haze for these words.
--Trannyshack blew up. Photographer Ariel Soto brought back these shots.
--And ColdWarKids pulled mad bitches at the Warfield Friday night. "R & B indie." Who'd a thunk it?
On the schedule this week: Fucking Thanksgiving, dawg! Why are you even reading this? Go eat some turkey. Secretly mock your kin! Seriously, nothing of importance is going down this week on a governmental or business level in SF. The news stories are going to be about travel, and the odd crime and traffic accident. That said:
--Today: SF GovernmentInAction briefs you on everything NOT happening this week at city hall.
--And RaidersSuckNinersSuck tears local Bay Area NFL a new one. They could use it.
--Tuesday, BetterKnowAnSFBlog trolls the blogosphere for local delicacies.
--Wednesday we digest our weekly print edition for ya.
--Thursday we digest turkey and remember why we moved away from our family.
--Friday we Pre-Party hard with the folks back home town.
And, of course, we will be at more great shows like Band of Horses at the Fillmore (Friday), MC Frontalot at Slims on Sunday, and Monotonix at the Knockout (Friday).
See you after the Indian Genocide feast, you fatties.
Welcome to this week's Monday Morning Hangover. The mimosa headache still beats fresh behind our eyes, yet we bring it every Monday at 9 a.m.(ish).
I'm your web editor, David Downs.
Let's start with the funny. Two words: Anime Dorks (see above). It's one thing to like Samurai Shamploo, it's another to dress up like Mugen and head to Japantown. Peep the fresh flicks.
