A cat person?

​Unlike Lupita Cortez, the San Jose mom who was charged with child abuse after allegedly tossing her toddler out a window, Danielle Walker, the really mean woman accused of throwing a pup from a third-story window last week, is walking away a free woman.

As the SF Appeal notes this morning, Walker, 22, is getting away with having tossed an adorable Jack Russell terrier from a Mission District window, assuming she in fact did do it.

But therein lies the problem. The dog's owner has refused to cooperate with police, or give a statement that would back up another witness' claim that Walker threw the pup, Stephanie Ong Stillman, spokesperson for the DA's office, tells the Appeal.
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​When it comes to food, a hungry man isn't much different than a hungry lion.

A 50-year-old man was taken into custody yesterday morning after he barricaded himself inside his Bayview apartment threatening to harm himself over a piece of chicken.

According to Sgt. Daryl Fong, the man became perturbed, believing that someone in his apartment complex had eaten his chicken. The man armed himself with knives and proceeded to walk throughout the complex, looking for the person who "ate his chicken."

"He just got mad over his chicken," Fong said. More >>

Some boys never grow up

​Solano County has gotten caught in the crossfire of a family feud that ended with one brother in the hospital and another in jail.

David Bango is suing Solano County, claiming sheriff bailiffs failed to restrain his brother while Bango testified against him at his murder trial. According to court documents filed last week, Bango was stepping down from the witness stand after he testifed when his older brother -- Wilberto Belardo -- attacked him.

News outlets report that during the May 5, 2011, trial in which Bango was a key witness, Belardo reportedly shouted out that his brother was a liar before attacking him and punching him in the nose.

Bango's injuries left him with multiple stitches, post traumatic stress disorder, nightmares, and loss of sleep, according to the claim. Bango is squarely blaming the county, which he says should have had his brother handcuffed -- at the very least -- throughout his murder trial.

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We know merger talks over at the Bay Citizen have everyone on edge about the future of the online newspaper. But amid all this excitement about joining forces with the Center for Investigative reporting, the BC forgot to do the one thing that would surely help bolster its online presence: Renew its domain name.

Seriously.

This morning, Jim Romenesko was up early enough to grab this oh-so-humiliating screen shot of the Bay Citizen's homepage:

The Bay Area's online newspaper

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I prefer a dumb boss to a mean one

​Now this is what you call an abusive manager.

Police say a man was arrested earlier this week on suspicion of hitting one of his employees in the face after he fired her.  According to police reports, the man asked his employee to meet him at a coffee shop on Tuesday afternoon. When she showed up, he informed her that he was firing her.

He then asked her to sign some paperwork acknowledging the termination. He told her he also wanted to get some things from her house that belonged to his company. The woman went to her house on the 400 block of Madrid Street and gathered his property. Her now former boss showed up with a witness to collect everything.

According to police, the woman then handed her former boss a letter of her own regarding her termination, which she asked him to sign. The man got angry, refused to sign, then punched the woman, causing her head to hit the wall.

Perhaps he just didn't like being bossed around.
 
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Bet you won't find this guy in Seattle

​Hey, Seattle, get your own damn tourists!

Seattle's Convention and Visitor's Bureau has launched an annoyingly clever campaign to poach tourist away from San Francisco, because apparently they can't convince the international masses that Seattle -- not San Francisco -- is the place to be.

The 2DaysInSeattle.com campaign will infiltrate San Francisco tomorrow night, when posters advertising Seattle and all its coolness will be draped across San Francisco's most obvious tourist hubs, including the Powell Street BART station.

Essentially, Seattle hopes that come Wednesday morning, tourists will take one look at those posters and jump right out of their cable car to make that 12-hour (beautiful) trek to Seattle where it's probably raining.
 
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Wake up! You've been stabbed.

​There are heavy sleepers, and then there are those sleepers who can snooze right through an attempted murder

Such is the case with one man who was sleeping so soundly that he never felt someone stab him in the chest.

Who knows what time the crime happened, but police say the 60-year-old man woke up at about 4 a.m. on the 400 block of Turk Street to discover the puncture wound to his chest.
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A rare moment: Biden puts food, not a foot, in his mouth

​There's nothing we enjoy more than a good gaffe from high-profile politicians. But the foot-in-the-mouth moment Vice President Joe Biden had yesterday in San Francisco was so unfortunate it made Rick Perry's brain farts a little more forgivable.

Yesterday, San Francisco welcomed Biden with open arms until he made the tragic mistake of declaring "The Giants are going all the way!" while campaigning for President Obama at an event in the city's Financial District.

As you can imagine, the cheering quickly turned into jeering.
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No score here, ladies.

​As if the story about Trent Arsenault -- the Bay Area's unstoppable Sperminator -- couldn't get more bizarre. To gasps, laughter, and applause from the studio audience on Anderson Cooper's talk show, Arsenault, who has donated his seed for 14 children through his website TrentDonor, revealed that he is really a virgin.

"I'll probably be the 40-year-old virgin, except I'll have 15-plus kids," he told Cooper.

So the only thing Arsenault is making love to is a petri dish.

This bit comes as a surprise not only because Arsenault is 36 years old, but because of his recorded sexual activity -- featuring himself ejaculating in several NSFW online videos, which he claims are not porn, but documenting being a "donorsexual," the term he's coined for someone who expresses their sexuality through sperm donation.

SF Weekly called him to get a few more details on his sex life, or lack thereof. Arsenault said that the videos are how he expresses his sexuality. "So much of my sexuality is suppressed as a donorsexual since I'm not having intercourse, so those videos are how I've coped with my sex drive."
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Courtesy U.S. Customs and Border Protection

Stopped at the border

​It's always interesting to see the sorts of contraband that U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents are intercepting in the Bay Area. About a year ago, we heaved a sigh of relief after "destructive" Pakistani insects were detected by the feds in a shipment of rice in Oakland.

But such arthropod invaders seem pedestrian next to the latest scourge discovered by CBP. In a statement this morning, the agency announced that six mouse deer skulls were found concealed in bags of dried fruit peels at the international mail center at San Francisco International Airport. The mail came from Laos, and was destined for Minnesota.

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