New Startup Lets You Rent a Bodyguard for Craigslist Transactions

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Craigslist customers: Meet your chaperone.
It's a story doomed to endlessly repeat itself: A man answers a Craigslist ad from a woman wanting a one-night stand on a bed piled with money. They hash out the details; he arrives with said money at the proposed address, only to be robbed at gunpoint.

If only we'd learned something the first time this sex-atop-a-pile-of-money plan went awry. But no. The ads keep appearing, the sad sacks keep getting bilked. It's an infinite regression.

San Leandro-based entrepreneur Titus Green thinks he can help. His new service, modeled after the new crop of car-hire apps in San Francisco, affords Craigslist customers the opportunity to hire a personal bodyguard for their transactions -- shady or not. As a bonus, some of those bodyguards will double as gadget-testers, to sniff out defective Craigslist products before any money changes hands.

See Also: Erstwhile Romeo stiffed for $2000 in Craigslist scam.

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Teeny Tiny Tree House in Golden Gate Park Is for Rent, According to This Craigslist Ad

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Tony Powell via Richmondsfblog.com
For Rent! Se Renta
It appears whoever was living in the teeny tiny tree house located in Golden Gate Park has packed up and split -- probably for cheaper digs in Oakland.

So if you're in the market for something different and more removed from urban life, the teeny tiny tree house is officially up for rent. According to this Craigslist ad, the 1-square foot studio apartment is a true rarity -- for only $2,350 a month, you can enjoy the quiet nature of San Francisco. Even better, you'll be able to walk out your front door and see unique wildlife and chill with the local drunks and hippies.

Here's the full ad:

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Woman Will Wear Panties for Up to 72 Hours Max, Then Sell Them to You on Craigslist

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Flickr/MeganMorris
An idea for future business management majors
Every now and again we like to tap into the business community and talk to entrepreneurs to find out how the hell they're making ends meet when we know things in California aren't going to get any cheaper.

Skimming through Craigslist, we came across this SoCal woman (well, she tells us she is a woman) who has cornered a new and thriving market in California: She'll wear her panties for a few days, then sell them to willing buyers who will then do God knows what with them.

Here's her most recent ad targeting San Francisco's lovers of worn panties.

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Curious about how this online lingerie business operates, we reached out to the 18-year-old woman, who agreed to chat with us about her business, anonymously via e-mail. We've copy and pasted her responses verbatim.

SFW: Tell me about this worn panty-selling business you have. What is the name of the business? How long do you wear the panties before they're considered "worn"?

Panty Woman: The business doesn't have a name. I will wear the panties for 1-3 day depending on what the person wants, but no longer than three days due to sanitary reasons. I will then ship them to the person providing they have made the payment to my paypal account.

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Local Stranger With Foot Fetish Offering Cheap Rent in Exchange for Daily Foot Sex

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Flickr/jazzylolo
You won't even have to pay a deposit!
If you've wasted the entire summer looking for a permanent place to crash at a decent price (are you losing your mind yet?) and are still homeless, boy have we found a steal for you.

Stop perusing the rent ads. There's no need to look any farther than this very "unique living situation" advertised on Craigslist. At $250 a month, you can share a 1,416 square-foot apartment in the Ingleside neighborhood with this random person who likes to be dominated by feet. If you are messy as hell and have bad credit, who cares. The only requirement to be the chosen housemate is to be a woman with damn good looking feet.

Read the Craigslist ad yourself:

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Heartbreak, Cheating, and Lies Leads to Amazing Deal on Used Mattress

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Well here's something that just might make up for the crappy sleep you had last night.

We came across what might be the best-breakup Craigslist ad ever; the seller is trying to push his or her used mattress on you for $150. And while we can't say for sure this is a good deal or that it'll be the panacea to all your sleep problems, the ad is certainly a wonderful read.

The seller, obviously still raw from the breakup, posted this for-sale ad/diatribe detailing the mattress's many selling points. Aside from having no stains and not being used for any recent sexual escapades, the mattress will cradle you like a baby, allowing you to soundly snooze even while unknowingly sleeping next to a lying cheater.

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Craigslist Weirdos Use Daddy's Day as an Excuse to Get Laid

Categories: Oh, Craigslist

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Daughters bonding with father, but not in that Craigslist sort of way
Father's Day is that American holiday where it's time for kids to shut the hell up already and be thankful for all that their dad did or didn't do. There's really nothing you can accomplish in one day that'll make up for all the times he's bailed you out of jail or wrote you a check so that you could buy nice enough clothes so you could find a job and make your own damn money.

But if you ask us, the best gift you could give your father this weekend is refraining from using this one day as a chance to have some insane Craigslist-type sexcapade.

We cruised Craigslist looking to see what kind of crap people were trying to pawn off as potential Father's Day gifts. Instead, we found an overwhelming number of requests for Daddy Day hookups, hoping to make their old man proud.

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Here Are Best Worst Craigslist Bike Ads This Week

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Any cyclist who knows bikes and knows Craigslist has come across -- way too often -- those sketchy shops shilling in the "by owner" section and the obviously stolen bike ads. Then there's the clueless goofballs. Craigslist is that one Bay Area location that's intimidating, stupid, and hilarious all simultaneously.

I've spent countless hours scouring Craigslist, and especially the bike ads. I've bought, sold, flipped, and have come to appreciate the best worst ads. You'd think people would learn that to sell something on Craigslist, they would have to convince buyers that they actually have a product worth purchasing, and of course, they're not a murder. It's astonishing how many Craigslist sellers have not quite mastered the art of cajoling customers.

So I decided this week, to cull my favorites perfect stupid Craigslist bike ads. Enjoy:

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Yes, Craigslist Is Sponsoring Bay to Breakers

Categories: Oh, Craigslist

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Take your shirts off!
It's confirmed that Craigslist, the Bay Area -- and now the world's -- most visited online classifieds, will take over the running of Bay to Breakers.

Craigslist announced the exciting news last night, saying they're pumped to be pairing up with another one of San Francisco's places to tap your inner freak.

Per the CL blog:

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Valentine's Day Missed Connections: Longshots in Longshot City

Categories: Oh, Craigslist
What fools these mortals be
It's a standby of medical dramas for flatlining patients to be wrenched back into the realm of the living during tense defibrillator scenes (Charging! Clear!). In reality, however, only a small percentage of patients given the paddles will survive.

In a related subject, many desperate souls disgorge their ephemeral stories of love and lust on the Craigslist Missed Connections page. But has anyone ever tracked down the object of their desire? Hard to say. This guy won't: "Wells Fargo Hotness -- you were in front of me in a line for two this afternoon. brown hair pulled back, jeans and brown boots. you were looking, as was i, and you are hot."

Yesterday was Valentine's Day -- and if you just realized that while reading those words, we suggest you run out and buy up all the discount flowers and chocolate pronto. Many of the Missed Connections were prefaced with notions of using Valentine's Day as an excuse to do something desperate and likely pointless. But, who knows? We'll reprint a few of our San Francisco favorites and maybe someone's dreams will come true. Charging! Clear!

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Scab Janitors Sought on Craigslist

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Denizens of the Financial District may have seen -- or, more likely, heard -- recent demonstrations by unionized janitors, who have threatened to strike if negotiations with the city, Macy's, and the Westfield mall aren't resolved by today.

Buildings don't clean themselves, however, and ads for scab janitors have popped up on Craigslist. The employers do not list their identity or the location of their buildings -- and SF Weekly's e-mail has not yet been returned. But you can't accuse mystery management of hiding the rationale behind the hiring binge: "The work involves replacing our current work force at commercial office building (sic) throughout downtown San Francisco due to a possible labor dispute with the SEIU-Service Employees International Union." 

Those in search of $18.65 an hour and without compunctions about pushing the workin' man down an elevator shaft can write here.

The ad follows:

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