Blogs

Fresh off the Haight Street sidewalk: The California Herald (formerly known as the San Francisco Herald) is leaving the print world and going online-only effective July 1. Herald Editor and Publisher Gene Mahoney writes:

"All good things come to an end. Or in the case of the Herald, all pretty good things come to an end.

Actually, the Herald’s not really ending. It just won’t be printed on paper anymore. You’ll have to go online to read it at californiaherald.net. It will also “come out” more frequently than it has in the past few years. I’m planning on every month.

Don’t be sad, because I’m not. Actually, this is the most excited I’ve been since I started the San Francisco Herald ten years ago. Or at least since its heyday, in July 2001, where it was all over the place with a full-color picture of a half-naked Terri Nunn on the cover."

Mahoney adds that he regrets starting editions of the Herald for Santa Monica, Palo Alto, Santa Cruz, Sacramento, etc. "as it just took too much time and effort for too little reward." But unlike other papers, he says he never lost money on the project. "It’s always been profitable, just not as much as I wanted it to be." --Janine Kahn

S.F. gives Dhaliwal brothers the bureaucratic kiss-off

By Joe Eskenazi

After thoroughly vetting complaints lodged in March by the survivors of the Christmas Day zoo rampage — that provided Fox news with astounding new ways to portray San Francisco as a hotbed of unholy bestial fury — the city has, in perfect legalese, told the victims of the tiger attack to go shit in their hats.

“An investigation of your client’s claim filed with the City and County of San Francisco has revealed no indication of liability on the part of the City and County. Accordingly, your claim is DENIED,” reads City Attorney Dennis Herrera’s Thursday rejoinder to Amritpal and Kulbir Dhaliwal’s claims of physical and emotional injuries resulting from the tiger attack that left Carlos Sousa, Jr. dead (and, yes, Herrera used the blog-like all-caps to hammer home his point).

The city’s rationale: This ain’t my problem!

Herrera, ever helpful, refers the Dhaliwal’s attorneys, Mark Geragos and Shepard Kopp, to direct their legal fury to:

San Francisco Zoological Society
1 Zoo Road
San Francisco, CA 94132

(Herrera included a line reading “attn: Wayne Reading” — in other words, the zoo’s CFO has been notified that he's just had a legal wolfpack loosed on him).

You can read the terse PDF here.

"Hello, I am America's sexiest mayor" — Shalom, ani ha'rosh ir hachi sexy b'artzot ha'brit.

"In most solemn truth I tell you that one of you will betray me — yes, Daly, I'm looking at you."

By Joe Eskenazi

Sometimes, you just can't resist. How many folks have posed for "I'm king of the world!" photos on the bows of cruise ships? How many of us have assembled a foursome to cross Abbey Road?

And, when in Jerusalem retracing the steps of Jesus, who hasn't suddenly portrayed himself as the Messiah? Well ... not everyone, actually. But our mayor sure did:

At one of the Stations of the Cross, Newsom placed his hand on a wall stone, said to be the one Jesus touched on his walk to his crucifixion. He then placed his hands on the cheeks of his fiancée and jokingly said, “I heal you.”

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Geez Louise. Remember how we told you that Naked Yoga Guy George Davis was having a (naked) book signing last Thursday? Well it turns out the cops spoiled the party by hauling him off for the sixth time in his, er, "career" as a public nudist. (Davis says it's his sixth arrest by "police count," but his 10th arrest from his perspective.)

If they thought that would discourage Davis, they're wrong, though. He says he'll be back at Fisherman's Wharf tomorrow strutting his stuff and signing copies of his new book "Weapons of Mass Deception."

Behind the cut: An open letter Davis sent us about the ordeal. --Janine Kahn

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Around three o’clock in the afternoon on Saturday a column of black smoke unraveled over Dolores Park and several dozen hipsters lifted their noses to the sky and wondered what had caused it. A nearby house had caught fire, and not just any house, but the unusually decorated abode on 17th Street between Church and Sanchez that sports a garage door emblazoned with a large blue Buddha head and a trompe l’oeil façade of green bricks.

By the time I hoofed it over there, the black smoke had been reduced to a sputtering gray and four fire trucks and over a dozen fire fighters were on the scene taking care of business. There was no damage visible on the outside.

The only spectacle a cluster of rubberneckers were treated to was when a hose nearly escaped the grasp of a fireman who shouted for help and threw his body on top of it. Several nearby fire fighters ran to help their compatriot and the result has a well contained fire hose and a wet dogpile of firefighters. A poorly composed picture of this incident after the jump. Don’t worry, I’ve drawn an arrow pointing you toward the action.

Condolences to whoever owns that uniquely painted home.

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Today marks the sixtieth anniversary of a bloody escape attempt from prison turned tourist attraction, Alcatraz.

During the afternoon of May 2nd, 1946, five prisoners put into action a series of carefully planned events which all came to naught when some prison guard flouted institutional rules and failed to return a key to its rightful spot. The key happened to be the one that would release the prisoners from the recreation yard. Thus began a two day siege during which the help of the marines and FBI were enlisted, grenades were lobbed and lives lost.

Three of the prisoners who helped spearhead the breakout were killed in the fight, two others were tried, convicted and executed two years later, and one received a life sentence but was granted his freedom in 1973. The event inspired a Burt Lancaster movie called "Brute Force" that is billed as "unusual at the time for the level of violence it portrayed." Happy Friday!

UPDATE: It has come to my attention that today is also the birthday of Dwayne Johnson, AKA "The Rock", which is also the nickname of our famed landmark! Eerie.--Andy Wright

Margaret Cho Day at City Hall
Review by Tamara Palmer; Photos by Susie Kameny
April 30, 2008

Better than: Point Break LIVE! Day
Download: Stream her concert film Assassin for free.

As daylight waned in the South Light Court of City Hall, a camera crew fretted. There to capture the Mayor’s official proclamation of “Margaret Cho Day” for Cho’s forthcoming VH1 “Celebreality” series The Cho Show, they needn’t have worried so much: The outspoken comedienne radiates her own glow, so they didn’t really need all of those burning spotlights.

Yet the San Francisco native looked just a bit shy and demure as she sat politely while Cho’s friend, Police Commissioner/transgender activist Theresa Sparks, spoke of Cho’s strides in fighting for LGBT acceptance and inclusion. Sparks, who is also the CEO of the beloved sex toy emporium Good Vibrations, concluded her introduction with a kind offer:

“And if you need a new Hitachi Magic Wand,” she said, naming an ever-popular vibrator, “Just give me a call!”

The relatively young audience, which numbered about 200 deep, laughed heartily. The Mayor took to the podium, asking, “So, it’s Hitachi . . .?”

“Your fiancé will explain it to you,” retorted Sparks, to even more delighted laughter.

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Two days ago the Chronicle reported an apartment fire that damaged four buildings and set off a testy comment thread on sfgate.com. Readers were not discussing the fate of the buildings and their residents, however, but the validity of the neighborhood name, Little Hollywood, where the fire was reported to have taken place.

The first commenter on the scene expressed exasperation thusly: "'..in the Little Hollywood neighborhood of San Francisco..'?? These stupid, manufactured 'neighborhood' fantasy-names are made up by some deluded real estate agent. They are meaningless. And you come across as a clueless idiot when you use them."

The writer is certainly not alone in their vexation. Complaining about the arbitrary and spontaneous nature in which San Francisco neighborhoods are established and named is practically a city past time. But several people repudiated the first post by claiming long term residency and then offering evidence for the neighborhood’s namesake, the most popular of which seemed to be that silent film stars once lived there. "Yes it is called Little Hollywood because of the actors who had vacation homes in the neighborhood. (included an actress named Mae West…ever heard of her?)" snotted one poster. The argument was put to rest for me when a Google map search turned up one Little Hollywood Community Park.

But the debate made me wonder, what other tiny "neighborhoods" in San Francisco would spark a similar spat?

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"Being naked in San Francisco is not a crime, unless the gentleman had lewd conduct or was obstructing traffic.''

That's D.A. spokesperson Debbie Mesloh in 2004 in response to the public nuisance complaint filed against George Davis - a.k.a. the Naked Yoga Guy who we last saw prancing around in the buff at the tail end of the Olympic Torch protests earlier in the month.

In 2004, Davis staged several impromptu nude demonstrations at Fisherman's Wharf to promote his book Naked Yoga. He's had run-ins with the cops before and after those memorable episodes but is still going strong (remember how he ran for mayor just last year? Our Joe Eskenazi documented that nicely). In fact, Davis will be signing copies of his new book Weapons of Mass Deception at the wharf (northeast corner of Hyde Street @ Beach) tomorrow, May 1, at noon.

Incidentally, the book's protagonist is a naked yoga guy himself.

P.S. Those who've dreamed of working as an assistant to a nekkid yogi can contact Davis at (415) 722-2968. --Janine Kahn

Today’s Chronicle offers up a horrifying tale of tenant abuse. A SoMa landlord couple purchased a three-story apartment building and promptly began evicting the five tenants, some of which preferred not to move. Thus began what the Chron describes as a “campaign of terror” during which the landlords allegedly told workers to cut support beams to the apartment, shut off electricity and phone service, ripped off $2,000 in cash and a Gucci watch, and in a move cribbed from Wile E. Coyote -- ordered a hole cut in the floor of one apartment from beneath.

While the grievances filed against these landlords are extreme, there’s no shortage of crazy landlord stories. My favorite crazy landlord eschewed the tiresome formalities of “Hello” and shot straight to the more pointed “What do you want?” and “I’m out of the country,” when answering the phone. Interestingly, his business trips and vacations seemed to coincide with our plumbing problems. But many renters' horror stories careen right past poor phone skills into small claims court, so leave your best crazy landlord stories in the comments below.

And don’t forget that the June 3 ballot includes Prop 98, which would effectively ends rent control, giving landlords a compelling reason to find a way to boot existing tenants. -Andy Wright

Now is the Passover of our discontent, made glorious summer by this sun of Manischewitz.

By Joe Eskenazi

As you may have read here on The Snitch — and, mind-blowingly, in the Chronicle and Contra Costa Times as well — this year it has been next to impossible for Bay Area Jews to obtain matzah, the oversized, under-tasty unleavened crackers central to the holiday of Passover.

For frantic last-minute shoppers, this was a most unpleasant surprise. But it shouldn’t have been. The Bay Area matzah market has undergone more permutations than Oprah’s weight. This is just the latest matzah crunch.

A dozen years ago, the matzah wind was blowing differently. There was plenty to be had — but no one could afford it. A five-pound box of the crackers could cost as much as $19.99. Meanwhile, in Los Angeles and New York, Jews were happily buying their matzah for two bucks a pound.

"It's the forces of capitalism," explained kosher distributor Robert Sosnick at the time. "You're dealing with a marketplace down there of more than 1 million Jews. You have big chains in heavy Jewish neighborhoods. A million potential consumers is a big drawing card.

"You really don't have a Jewish neighborhood in San Francisco."

In 2001, the Bay Area matzah market was rocked once again — but in a way consumers could enjoy (with horseradish, possibly). Suddenly those $20 boxes of crackers could be obtained for as little as five bucks.

How? That can be answered in one word: Costco.

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On the way to a hike in Muir Woods bookended by beers on Sunday, I drove past one of my favorite Bay Area landmarks, the decimated Fireside roadhouse. The gutted white structure with a formally festive, now ominous looking façade, looks tailor made for a horror movie. Most people, myself included, will tell you the place is haunted if you ask, though they may not have a specific story of bloodshed to back their theory up. Until now.

An article in today’s Chronicle reveals that renovators who have been working on the Fireside for the last ten months have discovered the graves of Native Americans under the building. Apparently the same bones were uncovered during a renovation 51 years ago, but builders just reburied them because “folks were less concerned about cultural issues,” as the Chronicle so delicately puts it.

Charming. As for the creepy landmark, get your fill now, as the building is being spiffed up, and even equipped with solar panels, to serve as a community center for the surrounding low-income housing. -Andy Wright

Photo Credit: Kim Komenich, SF Chronicle

Saturday marked the start of Passover, also known as the Festival of Unleavened Bread. There was just one problem for Bay Area Jews this year. There was no freakin' unleavened bread.

According to an article in the Contra Costa Times, "big box" chain stores opted out of buying the product, thus forcing consumers to strip smaller stores of their limited supplies.

A CBS 13 report (spotted on the awesomely named blog Oy Bay!) paints a dire picture of small store owners "rationing" out supplies, while those lucky enough to stumble across a well stocked shelf "hoarded" the stuff. A friend of mine charged with bringing me Passover leftovers on Sunday told me that they had gone from store to store looking for matzo and "...bumped into like a dozen other people on the same quest (kind of a perfect metaphor for the Israelites wandering for 40 years post-Exodus). There was also no matzo meal (necessary for baking our honey cake), which meant I had to grind little bits of matzo by hand in a mortar and pestle. It was epic."

What gives? Did anybody find a store with an untapped supply? --Andy Wright

Torrey Kretschman, in happier days.

By Joe Eskenazi

You’ve probably never heard of Torrey Kretschman -- and if you have, it likely isn’t for a good reason. Back in December, Kretschman made national headlines when he fell to his death at Candlestick Park during halftime of a 49ers game.

The notion that Kretschman’s 31 years on earth would, in the public eye, be summed up entirely by a freak accident involving a four-foot high railing he judged to be five-feet tall weighed heavily on the Sacramento man’s loved ones. Here at The Snitch we delved a bit deeper, running a piece titled “A Man in Full: Despite Media Myopia and Internet Ghouls, Torrey Kretschman’s Life was About More Than His Death.” You can read it here.

And you know what? It turns out that Torrey Kretschman’s life continues to be about more than his death. His memory has inspired a band of friends and family to join together and run one last race for Kretschman (an accomplished marathon runner) while raising money and awareness for those he wished he could have helped – but couldn't.

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At 5:12 am in the morning 102 years ago today, an earthquake of about 7.8 magnitude rocked the city of San Francisco, and sparked fires that burned for four days. Check out more footage of the aftermath here. -Andy Wright