Thanks everyone for entering, but the award for Furniture of the Year goes to Willow for "Pink Upholstered Vagina Couch," which comes with its very own pink clit pillow. Runner up: the decaffeinated coffee table (not pictured). More pics after the jump.
Unfortunately, today will be the last day for Laser-Guided Awesome. My departure won't make headlines like this chick, but I had fun while it lasted. I'm making a move to NY because I'm a backstabbing bitch, San Francisco. However, if you're on the move like me, here are some tips on how to pack a truck from the dude that brought us the game Tetris.— James Y Lee
There's nothing better than putting on a nice pair of pantyhose while your girlfriend is asleep. Hey, it's not a crime to feel pretty. However, I found another use for them: Keeping onions fresh. If those onions are out of date, you can put them back in fashion by wrapping them in pantyhose. The leggings give 'em a nice breathable environment and increase their shelf life. Just rip those stockings like an animal when you're ready to get down to business in the kitchen. — James Y Lee
My Jap friend Lisa Katayama has written a book on Urazawa, a Jap word for secret lifestyle tricks and techniques. If you've ever wondered how to get spilled wax off your floor or want beauty tips using household items, you might want to reserve a copy for when it hits shelves in April . She's promoting it by having her fantastic friends create videos on a few of her home remedies for her blog Tokyomango. Check out this devastatingly handsome fellow teaching you how to get rid of pen marks with teabags.— James Y Lee
The stupidly dressed doormen at the Sir Frances Drake Hotel do more than just serve as a cautionary tale to study hard in school; they open the doors to one of the greenest hotels in the city. Here's a top ten list of the most eco-friendly hotels that conserve water, give to nonprofits, use nontoxic cleaning liquids, and save endangered animals during their breaks. — James Y Lee
You ever come back from vacation and find some of your pictures all blurry, as if Michael J. Fox was your cameraman. Jumping Gigawatts! Laughing Squid offers a nifty trick on how to create a camera stabilizer out of a piece of string, a bolt, and a washer. — James Y Lee
Yes, you've heard it before, but "What's the hardest thing about learning how to rollerblade? Telling your dad that you're gay." But when you live in San Francisco, your dad already knows. The most difficult part is trying to safely reach the bottom of these crazy hills without zipping down to an embarrassing, screaming death. Thankfully, Nike has released the SPARQ Parachute to create drag for athletes and make a lap around Golden Gate Park look like a NASA shuttle landing. Plus, now you can tackle those steep streets safely and have a parachute matching the colors of your neon green helmet and spandex. Dad would be so proud. — James Y Lee
Tax day is coming and I know it's hard to fight Uncle Sam to keep a few bucks and not lose. I mean, not even a vampire-hunter could win the battle. However, take a look at these 13 overlooked tax deductions to help you hold onto that much needed cash. — James Y Lee
I remember my adorable three-year old cousin telling me that he came from his "mommy's tummy." I had to ask him, "How did you get in there?" The innocent child just looked at me and said, "God put me there." I couldn't help but put the kid on the spot, "God had sex with your mommy?"
Yes, I'm going to make a great father one day. The time is not right for me, but I owe it to the world to eventually spread my fantastic seed in the future. However, I hear that some people out there are having a hard time knocking up their loved one. If the ol' penis in the vagina trick ain't doing it for you, it might be time to start pointing fingers and blaming each other. It's also time to check if your baby batter is missing a few ingredients. — James Y Lee
Sure, we all have our crazy cab stories, 1 being a small fender bender, 10 being Princess Diana. You pray to make it out alive with something between a 1 and a 2 on my collision scale. However, there's nothing worse than not having enough cash to get from point A to B . You end up going to an automated teller machine and have to go from A to B to C, like you're driving down fuckin' Sesame Street. Here's a Web site that will calculate your taxi trip and do the math for you. — James Y Lee
That last power outage sucked ass for me. There's nothing like lighting up dozens of my girlfriend's fruity-smelling candles to stage a séance and communicate with the girly-man in me for turning my apartment into the Body Shop. Next time I will be prepared with The Torch, a flashlight so powerful that it can ignite newspaper, light my cigarette, and fry an egg. It may only have a 15 minute battery life, but it's just enough time for me to feel like the lion in my own den, even if it smells ever-so-lovely with jasmine and rose petals. — James Y Lee
You've probably walked by the Wired issue with Sarah Silverman on the cover. She is gorgeous, Jewish, and hilarious. Even an anti-Semite would shrug and go, "Well, two out of three ain't bad." They have a quick how-to on getting prepared for the Winter Olympics with your luging, because there's no better display of athleticism than donning a body condom suit and flying through a slip 'n' slide. — James Y Lee
If you're a waiter or a sleazy car salesman, you know that subtle body language can subconsciously suggest a purchase. Tom Sullivan, a restaurant consultant, came up with the "Sullivan Nod" to increase appetizer purchases. It claims to work up to 70 percent of the time. Learn how to do it and turn into a friggin' bobblehead next time you want something. — James Y. Lee
We all know the joke, "If you have one year to live, move to [insert name of crap city] because every day there feels like a fuckin' eternity." And we also know that time flies when you're having fun. The question remains: When the hell are we going to be able to control it? When will we be able to stretch out orgasms to year-long durations and fast forward through DMV lines? According to the New Scientist, we'll be able to teach our brains to stretch time sooner than you think. Or maybe not because time is all relative and blah blah blah. Anyways, it says tai chi and meditation help, but for me that shit takes too long. — James Y Lee
Lifehacker suggests a nice cheap vacation idea: Have one in the city! I know it sounds dumb, but it's kind of like buying a wig for your girlfriend and then pretending you're cheating on her. Oh yeah, there's nothing like role-playing to spice up our relationship with the city. Okay, let me help you out: You're the innocent tourist from the Midwest; San Francisco will be that experienced hot librarian that that has plenty to show you. Now put on that fanny pack and go to her. — James Y Lee
