Well, that's kinda funny

Generally, we think it's safe to say that Big Tobacco has given people more reasons to cry than laugh.

But we found ourselves chuckling a lot after watching this sorta depressing campaign video which uses gallows humor (our favorite!) to make voters -- and smokers -- smile and then think about all the damage Big Tobacco has done and continues to do to us.

The 1:30 video was released by the Yes on Prop. 29 Campaign, which uses parody to expose Big Tobacco's "deceitful" campaign against Prop. 29 -- the June 5 ballot measure that would raise the price of a pack of cigarettes by $1. If it passes at the polls, cigarette-lovers will be paying the price for smoking -- in more ways than one. That money will go toward funding life-saving research as well as help keep kids from becoming future smokers.

Anyway, watch this video. It just might be the most refreshing campaign ad we've seen to date.
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Remember this weird cover?

We're thinking the same thing most readers are about this potential union between the historically conservative Examiner and the left-leaning Bay Guardian ... what the hell?

We can only imagine what kind of headlines we might get out of this seemingly incompatible marriage. What happens when you blend boring daily newsy stories with the crusading prose of the longtime weekly?

Here's our best guess at future headlines and content changes:

• "Goons, Thugs, Punks, etc. Menace Burning Man"
  

• Mirkarimi vs. Muni: Can a Noble Man Outrun the 14-Mission?
  

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Usually we rely on naturals like former Supervisor Chris Daly to illustrate for the rest of the world that San Francisco, among many other things, is a city filled with smug pricks. But today, we were delighted to get a fresh take on the San Francisco ego from "SF Player" Chris Avery.

Thanks to Bernalwood Press for posting this gem. It has truly made our Friday.

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High school heartbreak

We weren't that surprised to read this morning that teacher/lover/inmate James Hooker was trying desperately to win back his former student and girlfriend,18-year-old Jordan Powers, after she dumped him upon his not-so-surprising arrest for allegedly having a romantic relationship with a minor 14 years ago.

According to NBC, Hooker has spent the last few days making one failed attempt after another to lure Powers back into his arms. But if Hooker were smart, he wouldn't just send her candy and access to his credit cards. Here's some time-tested advice for any teacher looking reconnect with student/lover: 

• Give her the answer keys ... to your heart

• Promise her a perfect Arkansas honeymoon

• Increase her allowance

• Give her really, really detailed letters of recommendation

• Ask her to prom

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​Cue The Godfather theme.

Fade in on former Mayor Art Agnos' place in Diamond Heights. His court-mandated tenant, Ross Mirkarimi, is sitting on the couch he now calls home. Agnos comes down the stairs into the rumpus room.

Ross: Art, what do I do now?

The light is beginning to turn reddish as the sun falls.

Art: Ross, you were always interested in politics, in history. I remember you founding the Green Party in this state. We were young then. Well, you were.

Ross: Yeah, I still read a lot. I never realized restocking the jail library would be so directly beneficial to me.

Art: You remember the revised City Charter of 1932. You remember how it reorganized this city and based it on the old Roman Legions, with the "capos" -- supervisors like yourself -- and "soldiers" -- nonprofit workers, the SEIU -- and it worked.

Ross: Yeah, it worked. Those were great old days. We was like the Roman Empire. San Francisco was like the Roman Empire.

Art: Yeah, it was once.

They lapse into a bout of nostalgia, reminiscing about a city where it took more than one goddamn digital recording to upend a man's career.

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Ron Baker via Flickr

​The Bay Citizen was funded with a $5 million gift from Warren Hellman to be an independent news organization in the Bay Area. But after two years in operation, it's being taken over by the Center for Investigative Reporting.More >>

Curious Josh

​Burning Man's first-ever ticket lottery has had far more requests for tickets than the 40,000 that have been made available.  What does this mean?More >>

​Supervisors Sean Elsbernd and Mark Farrell have proposed measures to end Ranked Choice Voting in San Francisco, while David Campos and John Avalos have proposed allowing even more ranked choices on the ballot.

What is the best voting system for San Francisco?

• Whoever raises the most awareness wins
  

• One tweet, one vote
  

• Just let the lawyers decide everything
  

• Dance-off
  

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Like this, only mean and in a toupee

Mashed-potato snowman Newt Gingrich is going around the foreclosure swamp of Florida angering up the easily angered by mentioning San Francisco as if the name of our city is a dirty word.

We know what he means by it, of course, when he refers to a "San Francisco fantasy land" he means a place with gay people, immigrants, and folks who believe it might be nice to have trees around later this century -- in short, all the things he's against.

While the local media dogpiles Gingrich for his inane comments about our beloved city, we decided to go positive, just like he pretends his vituperative and stupid campaign is. Newt, here are some reasons you might actually fancy San Francisco after all:

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​Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi appeared in court yesterday to defend himself against charges of spousal abuse and child endangerment. But what's the silver lining for Sheriff Mirkarimi?

• He still has his health

• He's got great connections at the jail

• There's no such thing as bad publicity

• He's an extremely powerful man

• The American justice system is flawless

• Thanks to him, San Francisco has some very innovative programs to help offenders re-enter society

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