CBP

​Red roses will be getting the pat-down by border control this Valentine's Day to ensure those flowers you give your honey come Tuesday are free of nasty bugs.

The U.S. Customs and Border Control will continue stopping every red rose over the weekend, scanning to see if any of those flowers are smuggling unwanted pests across the California border.More >>

Do you need someone from the health department to slip it in for you?

​Just a year ago, the city's Health Department proudly released the female condom 2 with forceful fanfare. But after reviewing some preliminary stats on STD cases over the last year, we've concluded that those touted contraceptives are still sitting in the wrappers on your desk.

According to the Health Department, the number of STD cases spiked in 2011 for the sixth year in a row. C'mon, people.

The Bay Area Reporter breaks it down for readers, explaining that the number of gonorrhea cases climbed by double digits last year. Reported gonorrhea cases jumped from 1,943 in 2010 to 2,243 in 2011 -- a 15.4 percent increase. Meanwhile, the number of rectal gonorrhea cases among men surged last year to 622 cases, a 38.2 percent increase over the 479 cases recorded in 2010.

This is the point where we would balance the bad news with good news -- if there were any.

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​The Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation relieved its six California affiliates today when it pledged to reverse its unpopular policy to stop funding Planned Parenthood and its breast cancer prevention programs.

During Komen's grant review process, the foundation decided that any organizations being investigated for fraud will no longer receive funding from Komen, said Maria Sousa, executive director of the SF Komen affiliate.

However, after so much national outcry, the foundation had a change of heart today when California Komen affiliates requested that the foundation only refuse money to those organizations guilty of fraud, not accused of it.

"... We are now heartened that we can continue to work in partnership toward our shared commitment to breast health for the most underserved women," Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards said in a statement today.

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Give him your kidney

​Tom Brady has movie star good looks, a supermodel wife, a palatial estate, and three Super Bowl rings -- and one at play Feb. 5. But what he really wants are your bodily organs.

Not for himself, but for his longtime mentor, Tom Martinez, a QB coach who has been waiting for a kidney donor for six long years -- and his progress is not looking good. Martinez, 68, of San Mateo, has been a coach and mentor to Brady, a Sierra High graduate in San Mateo, since Brady was 12 years old.

Just before Brady's championship game last weekend, Martinez was taken to John Hopkins Hospital, where he presently awaits a much-needed kidney transplant.
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No score here, ladies.

​As if the story about Trent Arsenault -- the Bay Area's unstoppable Sperminator -- couldn't get more bizarre. To gasps, laughter, and applause from the studio audience on Anderson Cooper's talk show, Arsenault, who has donated his seed for 14 children through his website TrentDonor, revealed that he is really a virgin.

"I'll probably be the 40-year-old virgin, except I'll have 15-plus kids," he told Cooper.

So the only thing Arsenault is making love to is a petri dish.

This bit comes as a surprise not only because Arsenault is 36 years old, but because of his recorded sexual activity -- featuring himself ejaculating in several NSFW online videos, which he claims are not porn, but documenting being a "donorsexual," the term he's coined for someone who expresses their sexuality through sperm donation.

SF Weekly called him to get a few more details on his sex life, or lack thereof. Arsenault said that the videos are how he expresses his sexuality. "So much of my sexuality is suppressed as a donorsexual since I'm not having intercourse, so those videos are how I've coped with my sex drive."
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Not pot's fault

​Tobacco smoke and marijuana smoke have some things in common. For example, they are both "smoke." Yet it appears there are some significant differences between the two, according to a study conducted by University of California San Francisco researchers. 

For starters, one causes lung problems and the other doesn't.

Researchers found no link between marijuana smoke and emphysema, or any of the other pulmonary problems associated with cigarettes. In fact, some light marijuana users had higher lung function that nonsmokers.

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It had a good run

​The Tenderloin's one-stop shop to assist homeless and low-income populations with HIV/AIDS is set to close due to financial troubles, officials just announced. 

The Board of Directors voted today to close Tenderloin Health, which recently lost $500,000 in federal funding, further crippling the agency financially.

"The major issue has always been the large amount of existing debt TLH faced when I came on board in November 2009," said clinic CEO David Fernandez. "This debt, combined with operating deficits and significant recent cuts in government funding, have made it impossible for us to keep our doors open."
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Is network TV ready for this?

​The national news just can't get enough of the Bay Area's one man sperm-donor, Trent Arsenault. The 36-year-old, who claims to have fathered 14 offspring with his super-potent sperm he ejaculates during porn movies (yes, they are available online), told SF Weekly that he flew out of Oakland at 4 a.m. Wednesday to tell his story to curious New Yorkers.

First stop in the 36-hour media blitzkrieg is 20/20, for a piece that the show has been working on for months, with co-anchor Elizabeth Vargas having flown out previously to the Bay Area to conduct interviews. Then, Arsenault says, he'll be on a network tour, filming segments with Anderson Cooper 360, Good Morning America, Today, and Nightline.
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​CORRECTION: An earlier version of this story erroneously presented 2010's Daily Beast rankings, in which San Francisco was America's 3rd drunkest city, as the 2011 rankings. As is apparent in the comments section of this blog post, the links on the Daily Beast site are a little confusing, and our misinterpretation of them resulted in this mix-up. We regret the error.

San Francisco reliably comes out on top in national polls of which metropolitan area ranks highest in ribald practices. In June, we brought you the important news that our city had been deemed the country's sluttiest.

Our drinking, it seems, is not quite up to that level. According to a survey of health statistics by The Daily Beast, San Francisco has dropped from the the country's third-drunkest city in 2010 to 22nd drunkest in 2011.

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