Stab Victims Too Drunk to Describe Suspect

Categories: DrunkSF

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Gordon's is the real crime
Excess alcohol can hinder your ability to do a lot of basic things -- drive a car, eat a burrito slowly, and sit out that next round of drinks.

It can also make you a pretty lousy informer.

According to police, two men were at the intersection of Geary and Hyde just after midnight when they got into a verbal argument with a man in a wheelchair. The guy in the wheelchair reportedly pulled out a knife and stabbed one of the guys in the back.

The two victims ran off and flagged down some cops in the area.

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Possibly Drunk Driver Causes Lunchtime Collision

Categories: DrunkSF

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Twitter/@DanRubinTV

We saw on Twitter that traffic was being rerouted near Geary Boulevard and Van Ness Avenue this afternoon after an alleged drunk driver crashed with another vehicle in the area.

Officer Gordon Shyy confirmed there was an accident at 12:11 p.m. at the intersection of Broadway and Van Ness, involving two vehicles. At least one person was taken to San Francisco General Hospital, however, Shyy did not know the extent of their injuries.

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Super Bowl Sunday: Cops Are Ready to Arrest Your Drunk Ass

Categories: DrunkSF

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Flickr/masters.tim
Yep, those are your friends.
It's Super Bowl weekend, and we can only guess what that means: you're planning on getting Super Drunk.

That's fine by us -- as long as you don't drive.

And if you do, well, just know your life will probably suck for a Super long time.

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Police to Pack The Streets Tonight Looking for Drunk Drivers

Categories: DrunkSF

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Flickr/antefixus21
Are those candy canes or cop lights?
Even if Christmas has ended, your drinking binge hasn't.

Fine. But unless you want to ring in 2014 behind bars, better sober up now. Tonight, expect the cops to "saturate" the streets with law enforcement looking to bust your drunk ass.

We've been told that the San Francisco Police Department will deploy officers citywide to arrest drunk or drugged drivers who are screwing it up for everyone else on the roads.

Per the police:

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Beware, Drunks: The Cops Will Be Out to Get You This Weekend

Categories: DrunkSF

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If your wine glass is bigger than you, best you don't drive
If you can't handle last-minute Christmas shopping without an unacceptable amount of alcohol in your system, then best you stick to Internet shopping.

For starters, it will keep you from driving wasted. Also, you never know what kind of insane gifts you'll end up buying your family when left alone with alcohol and the Internet. (send us photos,please).

Yes, this is your warning. The San Francisco police -- and many other cops -- will be crowding the streets and highways starting tomorrow night, plucking drunks from the roads so the rest of us can enjoy Christmas with the family.

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Cops Alert Heavy Holiday Drinkers to DUI Checkpoints

Categories: Drugs, DrunkSF

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Shutterstock/ Calvste
We know, it's that time of the year, when Christmas music and your messed up family are driving you to drink -- in that order.

So if you're feeling like the only way you can deal with Christmas carols in November is to start drinking a lot, and right now, then go ahead. But consider yourself warned.

No, we don't care about your hangover, we're warning you not to drink and drive. There's plenty of good reasons, one of which being that the cops are kicking off their holiday fun, too. And that includes a sobriety checkpoint on Saturday night.

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Gold Dust Lounge Celebrating Willie Brown's 80th Birthday Fourth Months Early

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A bridge, and NOW a birthday headquarters???
Because having a bridge named after you isn't unnecessary enough, former Mayor Willie Brown is going to get a jump start on celebrating himself with an 80th birthday tonight -- four months early.

Da Mayor isn't turning 80 until March 20, but why wait any longer to lavish him with well wishes and gratuitous attention? Especially with those double-fisted vodka shots as your date.

Lee Houskeeper, the bar's PR crackerjack, tells us that the Gold Dust Lounge is officially declaring its venue as the "Official 2014 Willie Brown 80th Birthday Headquarters."

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DUI Checkpoint Scheduled for Tomorrow Night. You've Been Warned.

Categories: DrunkSF

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Duh!
As a journalist, I feel it's my responsibility to report the truth about the cops. So here goes: The cops don't necessarily trust you when you're out on the town boozing like fool.

And probably because they have good reason: How many times have your weekends looked something like a scene from The Hangover?

That's why the cops are staffing up tomorrow night, specifically to be on the lookout for your drunk ass who pounded one too many shots at that back-to-school party.

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Back-to-School Binge Drinking Begins

Categories: DrunkSF

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S.F. student pounds the Mead
If you've made it this far into the summer without spending a night in jail, then bully for you. But the summer isn't over yet, and with the start of classes right around the corner, many of you might find yourself slamming one too many beers at the next back-to-school party.

If that's your plan, be warned: The cops are watching you, especially this weekend when they will host DUI checkpoints in undisclosed locations across the city.

Starting tonight, San Francisco police will be on the lookout for drivers swerving and generally acting like assholes. To distinguish between bad drivers and drunk drivers, the cops will give you the dreaded DUI test, if need be.

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DUI Checkpoint Coming to a Car Near You

Categories: DrunkSF

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Nick.Fisher/flickr

If you're dumb enough to guzzle a bottle of vodka before getting in the car, just know the San Francisco Police Department will be saving a place in jail for you. The cops are reminding everyone that there will be a DUI checkpoint somewhere within the city on Saturday night.

The checkpoint is scheduled to be in action from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m. -- peak chugging hours.

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