Why is Gumby the only normal looking one there?

It's that time of year again to put on your finest foppery (ass-less chaps, tutus and chicken masks) and swill cheap beer in the streets. All the things that make for a great footrace in San Francisco.

For those of you who aren't into costumes, morning imbibing, or running -- period -- well it's that time of the year for you to head for the proverbial hills to steer clear of the masses (30,000 people to be exact) who will be congregating in the city for the annual Bay to Breakers race come Sunday.

To be blunt: getting around town that day is going to be a complete shitshow, but luckily you have us to help you navigate the crowds so you can get to your destination.

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Life is a never-ending dodgeball game

If you were the child loser who either 1. was the last standing when dodgeball teams were selected, or 2. the one everyone tried to peg with the ball (even your own teammates), then here's your chance for clean revenge.

Now's the time to slip on your Mission hipster Converse and make them count. The World Dodgeball Society is bringing the nostalgic social sport back to San Francisco, with its first game of the 10-week season tomorrow night at the Mission Recreation Center.

"Everyone has memories of playing dodgeball as a kid, either fond or not-so-fond," said Michael 'Handsome' Costanza, founder of the World Dodgeball Society. "We want to remind people of a simpler time -- before careers and college -- when the only thing you had to worry about was whether to wear your Air Jordans or Converse with your legwarmers."

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Looking forward to 2013

As journalists, we're a bit sad to say fare thee well to 2012, a year chock-full of news that's certainly bolstered our livelihood. From cock ring wars and another World Series win, to local law enforcers robbing banks and bruising their wives, it's been one hell of a news year for San Francisco.

And as much as some of the main characters would like to forget their unsavory stories, there's just some tales that are much too indelibly set in our minds. So here you go, our top 10 picks of unforgettable news stories -- in order:

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Christmas has come and gone, so hopefully you remembered to document your drunk relatives making everyone feel a new kind of uncomfortable.

And while you were indoors feverishly unwrapping gifts and being gluttonous, these fine Santas were doling out happiness to the homeless. Staged inside what appears to be a historic Muni Cable Car in downtown, a group of Santas passed out clothes and other donated items to our local residents who weren't as lucky as you were on Christmas Day.

David Cruz via Natures Latern

Lots of Santas

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Looks like he'll be asking Santa for jail time

Some Grinch stole more than Christmas from the youth in Telegraph Hill -- he stole seven brand-new computers.

SF Weekly got wind of a Nov. 9 burglary at the Telegraph Hill Neighborhood Center, where the brand-new Apple iMac computers were stolen from the computer lab. According to the center, the crooks(s) damaged the exterior windows as well as wiring and other equipment inside the lab.

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Unfortunately, the students at St. Peter's School in the city's Mission District couldn't enjoy their new class sweatshirts for long. The blue hoodies had the number "13" printed on the back, representing the Class of 2013.

But the color blue and the number 13 also represent another less ambitious group of youngsters: Sureños.

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Members of the U.S. armed forces put their lives on the line every day. Though some may not all make it home for the holidays, one San Francisco company is making sure they'll at least be able to talk to their loved ones during the holidays.

San Francisco-based Lookout is partnering with Cell Phones for Soldiers to collect old unwanted cellphones, recycle them, and buy calling cards for our troops.

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This jacket wouldn't look good on you anyhow

We're guessing you've noticed that the weather in San Francisco has turned from pleasant to kinda cold. In other words, your second-hand hoodie won't suffice.

But if you think you're cold sitting in your cubicle, try sleeping on the streets tonight. Which brings us to our point: Homeless folks really need your warm blankets and jackets as winter reveals itself this week.

So here's how you can stop being so cold, figuratively speaking.

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There's been way too much horrible news as of late -- and especially around the holidays, when everything is supposed to feel good.

Lucky for our readers, David Cruz, San Francisco's ubiquitous nature photog, snapped these cool photos of Amanita Muscaria, aka "Fly Agaric," aka the "Christmas Mushroom."

David Cruz via Natures Latern

This should get you in the Christmas Spirit

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Not the dog in question.

The American staffordshire terrier that attacked a mounted officer earlier this summer in the city's Presidio neighborhood will be put to sleep.

The Vicious and Dangerous Animal Unit said the dog displayed "human-directed aggression" and a high prey drive during the mile-and-a-half chase in which it bit the police officer's horse 13 times.

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