Drug warrior

​If the marijuana legalization efforts currently underway in California receive some unexpected financial support from Hollywood over the next few months, drug war opponents may be able to thank Whitney Houston. And Tony Bennett.

Mere hours after Houston was found dead in a Beverly Hilton hotel bathroom on Saturday afternoon, Bennett took the stage at a pre-Grammy Awards party that Houston, 48, was to attend. Drugs must have already been on Bennett's mind -- the next night, he would accept an award for a duo he did with Amy Winehouse, who died last summer at 27 -- for the ageless crooner used his stage time to beg the assembled glitterati to dedicate themselves to a preventative cause: outright legalization.

"I would like to have every gentleman and lady in this room to commit themselves to get our government to legalize drugs," said Bennett, to the sound of some applause.

Bennett didn't repeat this call on Sunday in front of the television cameras -- and Winehouse's parents -- but so what? It's A-listers at Clive Davis' party who have money to burn, not unwashed masses at home (where the drug that killed Winehouse is legal).

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Courtesy of Virgin America Airlines

​It's not quite on par with Hungary's idea to erect a statue of the late Apple CEO Steve Jobs, but Virgin America Airlines -- based in Silicon Valley -- came up with its own creative way of honoring Jobs' memory.

According to MacRumors.com, Virgin Airlines -- perhaps best known for flying homeless chihuahuas across country -- has dedicated an entire jet plane to Jobs. To be sure we know which plane is his, the airline has painted one of Jobs' famous sayings, "Stay hungry, stay foolish," on the side of the Airbus A320, just below the cockpit window.

The quote came from Jobs' 2005 commencement address at Stanford University, where he noted that it was originally used in The Whole Earth Catalog in the 1970s.

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What did you do with the real Epic Beard Man?

​Check it out: Epic Beard Man is finally hitting the big screen. But wait, Epic Beard Man, is that you?  Where is the mentally unstable San Francisco crank who was in the fateful bus fight on AC Transit that blew up on the Internet? Where is Thomas Bruso, the guy North Beach denizens know as Vietnam Tom way before he became Epic Beard Man to the Internet masses? 

Thomas Bruso is nowhere to be seen in Bad Ass, the film featuring Danny Trejo set to hit theaters in April. The only remnant of the Thomas Bruso we know is his old-man fanny pack and bushy white beard. The details of the real Bruso have been completely altered. I mean, America doesn't really want to watch a movie about a mentally ill senior citizen on social security, does it? 






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They don't look alike, because this is NOT his child!

​​Lauren Stromquist, a mother from Minnesota, was struck with a feeling of familiarity when she read a Fox News story on Bay Area sperm-machine Trent Arsenault. She recognized the blonde Silicon Valley worker as her former neighbor in Pleasanton -- the guy she once went to a farmer's market with and who always had copious quantities of blueberries around (good for the sperm count, apparently). More >>

What the hell does he know about being married to Schwarzenegger?

​Media outlets (yep, including us) lapped up every piece of the sordid divorce between former Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his ex-wife Maria Shriver with salacious enthusiasm. Just the same, reporters are curious about recent statements Shriver has made alluding to the fact that she might be having some guilt about leaving her husband of 25 years.

According to Internet gossip outlet TMZ, Shriver is reportedly "torn" about her recent split with the Terminator, but not necessarily because she forgives him for cheating on her for decades with their nanny and having a lovechild who is now 13. It seems that Shriver is being manipulated by Catholicism (who isn't?) and the lavish gifts with which Schwarzenegger is showering her.

That's Schwarzenegger's way of saying "I'll be back."
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iSad

​If you were planning to honor Steve Jobs today by purchasing an Apple product, or hoping to make a stop at the Genius Bar, you might want to hold off. The Wall Street Journal reports that many retail stores are planning to close down for a few hours so that employees can participate in a private memorial service for the former Apple CEO today.

Stores will close during the company's private event, which will be streamed online for employees on the West Coast, for up to three hours. Jobs died two weeks ago after along battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 56.

No word on whether any retailers in San Francisco will be closed.
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​When such Earth-shattering stories as the death of Steve Jobs break, media outlets compete for readers amid a flurry of news reports on the same topic. Perhaps that's one reason you start to see hyperbolic headlines deeming him Jesus-like.

In the case of Jobs' death, we're not saying Jobs, the high-tech tycoon, didn't change the world, we're just confirming that he didn't invent it, as one Slate headline suggested.

But because we are part of the fourth estate, it felt only natural to come up with a string of hyperbolic headlines of our own, starting with this one:

Private papers suggest Jobs had a hand in developing sunlight.

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We knew there were some Bachelor sleuths out there. On Tuesday, SF Weekly reported that Ben Flajnik and the women vying for his heart on reality TV would be in San Francisco through the end of today filming ABC's most popular dating show.

Already, SF Weekly has received photos from Wednesday's set. John Riley from North Beach photographed Flajnik and the women stumbling upon a winter wonderland on an otherwise hot day in the city at about 3 p.m.

"I saw them [the film crew] making snow, and then I saw this group of ladies and one guy come up the street and act surprised when they saw the snow. The girls converted into snow bunnies by putting on snow boots, winter hats and skis," Riley told us.

From what we can tell from these photos, 11 women joined Flajnik on this group date, including one chick in a Giants panda hat!

Johnriley via Flickr

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​It looks as if Ben Flajnik didn't have to leave his heart in San Francisco after all.

Normally ABC's hit reality TV show The Bachelor is filmed in and around Los Angeles, until the lead narrows his pickings down to just several candidates. Then he and the remaining women take off on a whirlwind trip to hometowns and exotic locations.

Perhaps the show needed to shake things up this season, because Bay Area native Ben Flajnik began his "journey" (a hallmark Bachelor cliché) in San Francisco this weekend and wraps up shooting Thursday.More >>

Don't you Dare take away my local film critic.

​John Waters gained fame as a movie maker by exposing archetypical America as stupid and bogus. More >>