screen-grab/KTVU

Update 9:25 a.m.: According to news reports, the BART climber has been detained after two hours of holding up trains. BART is still experiencing some delays although not nearly as bad as ealier. Expect 10-15 minute waits.

Original Story 7:02 a.m.: If you're sorta really late to work this morning, you can blame it on this random train-climbing dude.

A man who was spotted walking on the tracks and climbing on top of BART trains near the MacArthur station in Oakland this morning has created a commute hell. According to BART, all trains in all directions are majorly delayed.

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rfduck/creative commons

Move over!

Commuters are not the most welcoming, friendly people around, so when they're willing to make room for you (and your bike) on the train, best you appreciate it.

As BART slowly attempts to undo its strict rules against bikes on trains, the transit agency unveiled some new information that shows more and more BART riders are coming around to the notion of sharing their commute with bikes.

In an extensive experiment, BART has allowed bikes to ride on the trains during peak commute times when trains are painfully packed, and has found that it's really not that big of a deal. BART plans to reveal its latest results at its board meeting tomorrow, showing that 84 percent of riders have no problem sharing the train with our two-wheeled friends.

See Also: BART Bans Peeing and Pooping Criminals From its Trains

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Making an example of himself

Back in January, we warned you that BART would start coming down hard on those miscreants who think it's okay to pee, poop, and stab people on their way home. Four months should have given you plenty of time to potty train yourself.

Let's just hope, because today, no more. BART is cutting the cord and officially banning those of you who can't seem to hold it ... together. The transit agency's new anti-gross law goes into effect today: Assembly Bill 716, which passed last year, allows BART to issue a "prohibition order," meaning it can (and will) ban anyone who commits a criminal offense on BART property.

See Also: This Is Why Everyone on BART Hates You

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But why?

It's more than fair to say we've all seen some truly unbelievable things -- and people -- on BART. Which is why this video of obviously bored guys really shouldn't surprise/annoy us so much.

Although we don't like some of the things we see on BART, we can still sort of understand the logic disgusting need: Guy picks his nose because he has boogers; man pukes because he's been drinking too much; woman takes her shoes off because her feet hurt and she's entitled.

But guys falling on BART trains -- and videoing it? Now we're truly stumped.

See Also: This Is Why Everyone on BART Hates You

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We'd give this train ride two heads

Last week, we ticked off all the reasons people riding BART hate you -- and all the reasons you hate them, too. Well, now here is your opportunity to avoid all those nail-clipping, nose-picking, line-cutting seat hogs.

BART has launched a handy new gadget that will give riders a snapshot of crowding levels on BART trains, with a quick tap of their smartphone.

The beta version of the crowding feature (it only estimates crowds, people) was announced yesterday, just as Bay Area commuters packed into the trains for another hot and sweaty ride home.

It doesn't require a whole lot of work on your part: When you use the BART QuickPlanner, your trip plan will show one of the following icons, indicating the crowd levels on the trains: three heads (heavy crowds), two heads (moderate crowds) or one head (light crowds).

See Also: This is Why Everyone on BART Hates You.

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Facebook/ BART Idiot Hall of Fame

You know what's worse than late BART trains and increasing transit fares? The douchebags riding those trains. Unfortunately, there's nothing to be done about those passengers who shamelessly clip their nails, pass gas, and pick their nose. And even if you aren't one of those idiots who gives themselves a pedicure en route to Powell Street, everyone on BART hates you anyway, and this is why:

You pee/poop on our seats:
In case your mother hadn't told you, BART is not your personal potty, which means shitting and pissing on the escalators, floors, seats, and ticket machines is a no-no. If you can't hold it, then poop in your own pants, that's what your underwear is for.

You take up two seats with your crap while the rest of us stand:
Look, I don't want to sit next to you any more than you want to sit next to me, but I also don't want to stand. So move your Trader Joe's bags and your exercise ball or whatever the hell it is you feel entitled to bring on the train and give me that seat. And stop giving me dirty looks.

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What's more shocking than finding fecal matter on your BART seat?

Nothing that you see on BART will shock you, until it actually does.

A man was zapped while riding a San Francisco-bound train after he got into an argument this morning with another passenger over a BART seat. According to Lt. Aaron Ledford, the call came in just before 8 a.m. on reports of a fight on a Pleasant Hill BART train; police say a man refused to give his seat up to a 62-year-old man, which led to the heated argument.

As the two continued to fight, the older man went to call for BART assistance. At that time, the suspect took a swing at him, and placed him in a headlock, Ledford told us.

Passengers tried to break up the pair, but it was a woman armed with a stun gun who ultimately got the suspect to let go of the elderly man.

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Eric who?

The worst time to commit a crime is when you're wanted for a crime.

In this week's edition of People Behaving Badly, Stanley Roberts caught up with BART police who were trying their damndest to write a ticket to this dude who "piggybacked" on a BART fare, meaning he followed a paying customer through the gates.

The guy claimed he arrived in San Francisco on the same day he attempted to skip out on his BART fare, presumably trying to play dumb. After evading his fare, he remained evasive with the cops, going back-and-forth about who he was and where he lived.

After an exhaustive search for the man's identity, the police finally found it -- on his arm.

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Update 12:30 p.m.: Transit officials are now saying all trains are moving again and service is back to normal. BART is now stopping at the 12th Street station.

Original Story 11:34 a.m.: An unidentified person was hit and killed by a BART train in downtown Oakland this morning.

According to press reports, the person was struck by a northbound BART train at the 12th Street Station at about 9:10 a.m. The person was stuck underneath the train, according to BART.

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An unidentified man was found dead inside the elevator shaft at the Montgomery BART station Sunday night.

According to BART police, the cops were called to the station at about 9:35 p.m. on reports of a person stuck in the elevator; BART employees managed to get the man out of the elevator, however, after hearing the man's story, officials called for an ambulance.

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