Super Bowl Loss: Mayor Ed Lee Goes to Baltimore to Pay His Dues

In politics, as in professional sports, you've gotta keep composed and quoting platitudes in front of the media after a tough loss.

So, who better to fly to Baltimore and greet the Super Bowl-winning powers that be upon bended knee than Mayor Ed Lee, -- a man well-versed in smiling at the cameras while eating crow.

Our fellow reporters at the Baltimore Sun kindly shared a snapshot of Lee's trip to Charm City, where he obviously had a lot of fun -- too much fun if you ask us -- eating crab, painting the police station, and reading to Baltimore's youngsters.

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The Baltimore Sun
This is our mayor, paying off his Super Bowl bet


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City Librarian Luis Herrera Recites "The Raven" After Losing Super Bowl Bet

Categories: 49ers, Local News

Last week was a dreary week in San Francisco, full of weak and weary souls unable to forget that bleak game in which their proud team's championship hopes ended up as dying embers. Sorrow for the lost Super Bowl! A second championship celebration within four months in front of City Hall's door? Nevermore.

Fitting, then, that the week ended with city librarian Luis Herrera reciting Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven," the work that inspired the football team's name, to make good on his losing Super Bowl bet with the Enoch Pratt Free Library of Baltimore. Because perhaps no poem better captures the wake of a heartbreaking Super Bowl defeat. Respite -- respite and nepenthe from thy memories of the Super Bowl!

See Also: Super Bowl XLVII: 5 Things That Can Fuel a Good Venting Session for 49ers Fans
The Amazing Kaepernick: Play-Faking the Culture


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49ers Super Bowl Loss Turns Into Victory for Needy Families Across the Globe

Categories: 49ers

All those shitty ref calls were for a good cause
Chin up, football fans; the 49ers' defeat isn't a total loss.

We know you're heartbroken that those pre-made Niners Super Bowl championship T-shirts and sweatshirts, bought by retailers in hopes that they could capitalize on a Super Bowl win, won't be on your backs. But they are going to families in need across the globe.

According to ESPN, Worldvision, a Christian humanitarian organization that has worked to aid impoverished nations, is taking the merchandise and sorting it by size, gender, and season before shipping the clothing off to five different countries: Zambia, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Armenia, and Romania.

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Super Bowl XLVII: 5 Things That Can Fuel a Good Venting Session for 49ers Fans

Categories: 49ers

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#Harbaughing?
There are plenty of legitimate reasons the 49ers lost the Super Bowl.

The 49ers couldn't stop the Ravens on third down. The Ravens offensive line dominated the 49ers defensive line, which appeared helpless on every short yardage first down conversion. Donte Whitner was targeted and exposed as a marginal pass defender. Chris Culliver played like a Ravens fan in a Chris Culliver jersey. LaMichael James fumbled 30 yards from the end zone. And, as the city has been buzzing about, Jim Harbaugh's play-calling toward the end of the team's final drive was stagnant and ineffective.

On the above points, the Ravens out-played and out-coached the 49ers. But this was a close game, and if that fourth down toss had fallen into Michael Crabtree's arms, someone would be writing about all the legitimate reasons the Ravens lost.

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Loser Pudding: Jell-O Dispensaries, Ronnie Lott Given the Bum's Rush

Categories: 49ers, Business
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Anna Latino
After hurling cups of pudding to surehanded fans, Ronnie Lott barks out "You're like Crabtree!"
Yesterday we reported on Jell-O's bizarre and more than a little demeaning plan to ease the pain of San Francisco 49ers fans by doling out free pudding to the hapless denizens of the Super Bowl's loser city.

The plan to unload large amounts of free food, often in San Francisco's grittier neighborhoods, went about how you'd think it would. A Jell-O commercial became an impromptu dispensary on Ninth and Market, as men and women in worn hoodies and grimy jeans groped with both arms into the pudding vat, carting off mass quantities of the ersatz dessert. "You're just supposed to take one!" snarled a pudding worker to a sunken-eyed woman smoking a cigarette down to the butt and loping away with a dozen pudding cups. Jell-O's smarmy tagline leading into their Loser Pudding giveaway was "nothing masks the bitter taste of defeat like the sweet taste of Jell-O Pudding!" Many of the folks helping themselves to armfuls of pudding apparently required extra large masks following strings of defeats a bit more consequential than losing some football game.

The workers regulating the flow of Jell-O to San Francisco's downtrodden population were polite and professional. But this was a rough gig. "I'd rather have a Vince Lombardi trophy, too," admitted one. 

See Also: Super Bowl XLVII: Damn It!
Super Bowl Losers Offered Mediocre Desserts


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Super Bowl XLVII: Damn It

Categories: 49ers
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Andrew J. Nilsen with photography by Tony Avelar/Associated Press
The Amazing Kaepernick showed up in the second half.
Super Bowl weekend is not yet an official national holiday, so at some point this morning, the great majority of San Francisco adults had to toss off the covers, grit through the behind-the-eyes headache, pull on some pants, and step into a cold, cold world.

This week, we will hear lots of calls for "Who's got it better than us?" optimism. People will says things like "At least the Giants won the World Series" and "Let's not forget how magical a 49ers season this has been" and "30 other teams wish they could have played in the Super Bowl" and "Kaepernick's got a great future" and "We still have the Warriors" and "It's only sports, at least we have our health."

These are all reasonable and true points. But like a glass of water during a hangover, they barely diminish the sharp pain.

See Also: The Amazing Kaepernick: His illusions confound defenses and shred stereotypes!

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Super Bowl Losers Offered Mediocre Desserts

Categories: 49ers, Food, Sports
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Suck on this, losers!
It's a gray day in tattered titletown, as men and women in grungy Niners hats, jerseys, and -- we're guessing -- red-and-gold undergarments sloppily stagger home through the chilly fog.

There are any number of ways to begin overcoming the chemical and emotional effects of yesterday's Super Bowl loss. There are mature and adult methods of coping with the incredible frustration of your team's agonizing and hard-fought loss of a football game over which you have no control.

Or you can stick some pudding in your face.

In an ad campaign every bit as bizarre as Jim Harbaugh's goal-line playcalling, Jell-O is offering a "Pudding Surprise" Tuesday at 12:30 at Broadway and Columbus. Former Niners safety Ronnie Lott will host the event, which makes no goddamn sense -- other than that he used to transform other men's cerebral cortexes into pudding for a living.

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49ers Fans Were Too Disappointed to Trash San Francisco Last Night

Categories: 49ers, Local News

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Courtesy of SFMTA
This didn't happen last night
If ever there were a silver lining to be had from our sad Super Bowl loss, it's that nobody was excited enough to smash up businesses and beat up other football fans.

Disappointed fans instead drowned their sorrows in a bottle of alcohol (sorry, Mayor Lee) before stumbling home to pass out and forget about the team's 34-31 loss against the Ravens.

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Here's Your 49ers Super Bowl XLVII Drinking Game

Categories: 49ers

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Colin Kaepernick has given Niners fans plenty to toast about.
What a time to be in San Francisco. On Sunday, the world's eyes will be on The City's team. The Super Bowl is America's favorite unofficial holiday, and San Francisco will be right in the middle of the national party. A day of greasy foods, shouting, and general indulgence; a day for revelry and drink (unless, of course, you end up at Mayor Lee's Super Bowl party).

So raise your glasses to the City of Champions. Here's one possible San Francisco 49ers Super Bowl XLVII drinking game.

See Also: San Francisco Giants 2012 World Series Drinking Game

The Amazing Kaepernick: Play-Faking the Culture

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49ers Who Appear in "It Gets Better" Video Deny Making the Video for LGBT Youth

Categories: 49ers, LGBT

It gets worse ... for him
Update 12:28 p.m.:: Dan Savage, the creator of the popular It Gets Better campaign, said via Twitter that he has pulled the 49ers video.

Original Story 8:15 a.m.: Looks like the 49ers' PR department might be clocking some overtime this week.

After 49ers player Chris Culliver made his public apology for his grammatically-incorrect anti-gay remarks, his teammates Ahmad Brooks and Isaac Sopoaga took over the spotlight with their own dumbass remarks.

Apparently, the two players who helped create the team's "It Gets Better" video last year say they have no recollection of making it. "I didn't make any video," Brooks was quoted saying in USA Today. "This is America and if someone wants to be gay, they can be gay. It's their right. But I didn't make any video."

And then reporters in New Orleans pulled out their iPhones and showed the players the "It Gets Better" video.

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