S.F. Company Employs Bike Messengers for 1-Hour Condom Delivery to Horny Residents
A local condom company is using Valentine's Day to launch a new service that will, among other things, deliver rubbers to your bedroom -- or wherever it is you like to romp -- in 60 minutes or less.
Flickr/Adam Freidin Has lots of condoms
The business is L Condoms, and as far as we can tell its mission is to come fast. Starting right now, for $5, you can order a fancy rubber in a pinch and one of the company's 50 "hip" bike messengers will deliver it to you in an hour.
We know what you are wondering: Why a hip bike messenger? Because condom-delivering drones are just too creepy.
Anyway, if today you find yourself in an unexpected position to get laid, then stay put. Get online and go to thisisL.com, where you will find a link for 1-hour delivery. Click that link and start shopping for the L. condom you want (Classic, Ultra Thin, Large, and Do Each Other Good). You can also add a bouquet of flowers to that order, if you feel the need to be romantic.
Once you checkout and enter your delivery address, all you have to do is wait (we know that's asking a lot in that particular moment.)
And just in case you are one of those 35 year olds still living with mom and dad, there will be protection for your protection The bike messengers will deliver your condoms in "unlabeled black boxes" so as to not draw any attention to your situation.
When you're all done, we're guessing you'll be hungry. We see no reason you shouldn't have burritos delivered to you, too.