Oakland Is Officially More Exciting Than San Francisco, and Here Is Why
It's not every day that Oakland gets to be something (good) that San Francisco is not. The gritty city also known as Oaktown perpetually gets the brunt of bad press, while San Francisco basks in the spectacularness that has tourists eating out of its hands.
allaboutgeorge via Flickr/Creative Commons
But have you noticed that, lately, all your friends are moving over to Oakland? It's the new Brooklyn, and there's damn good reason for that: Once the stepsister of the Bay Area's best, Oakland now kicks San Francisco's ass when it comes to leading an exciting life.
Movoto.com, a real estate blog, used Saturday night science to determine that not only is Oakland more thrilling than San Francisco (which came in no. 3), but it's now the most exciting city in the nation. They factored in the number of bars, big box stores, fast food restaurants, population diversity, and museums, among other things, to determine which city offered its residents a bigger thrill.
But just looking at that criteria, we know what you're thinking: How is it possible that Oakland trumped S.F.? Here's what we think:
- It's always 10 degrees warmer in Oakland -- and we mean everywhere in Oakland. So while you freeze your tits off walking your dog in Glen Park, just know your frenemies are enjoying the sun in their backyards with their kids.
- Where else can you buy a gold grill and creme Crème Fraîche Panna Cotta with a scoop of huckleberry ice cream on the same block?
- Because the New York Times says so.
- S.F.'s recession is Oakland's Economic boom. Have you noticed that the party has moved to Oakland? That's where your friends live now, and where your favorite sandwich shop relocated, and where your local bar has gone. Even your gun is fleeing to Oakland.
- Journalists have their own armed guards. Maybe not something to brag about, but certainly exciting.
- It was decided last year, through unscientific polling, that Oakland is filled with more honest people than SF. In other words, we'll tell you to your face that your mom is hella ugly and your BART stop stinks (or vice versa).
- Even the cops are cat people. So what if they hate Occupy protesters? It's how they treat stray cats they see roaming the streets that matters.
- Because former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said so.
- Free parking on Sundays. Duh. Only that and the promise of a for-real parking spot could convert a militant San Franciscan.
- And finally, while you dolts in SF spend your time and money taking photo classes or learning something useful, Oaklanders are teaching themselves how to pick locks. Seriously, there's a workshop in town where experts (expert what? We don't know) will be proud to teach you how to efficiently gain access to a car or a house or a safe without a key.