This Is Why Everyone on BART Hates You

Categories: BART, Humor

bartasshole.jpg
Facebook/ BART Idiot Hall of Fame
You know what's worse than late BART trains and increasing transit fares? The douchebags riding those trains. Unfortunately, there's nothing to be done about those passengers who shamelessly clip their nails, pass gas, and pick their nose. And even if you aren't one of those idiots who gives themselves a pedicure en route to Powell Street, everyone on BART hates you anyway, and this is why:

You pee/poop on our seats:
In case your mother hadn't told you, BART is not your personal potty, which means shitting and pissing on the escalators, floors, seats, and ticket machines is a no-no. If you can't hold it, then poop in your own pants, that's what your underwear is for.

You take up two seats with your crap while the rest of us stand:
Look, I don't want to sit next to you any more than you want to sit next to me, but I also don't want to stand. So move your Trader Joe's bags and your exercise ball or whatever the hell it is you feel entitled to bring on the train and give me that seat. And stop giving me dirty looks.

You talk too much:
Hang up the damn phone and stop yammering on about your stupid boss and organic groceries. Nobody cares and nobody on BART wants to hear your one-sided conversation, especially with that voice. That's what texting is for. Unless of course you are having a raging argument with your partner; then feel free to keep sharing that entertainment with us -- it's not like I can concentrate on my book now.

You cut in line while the rest of us wait like adults for a train:
Do you see that line of people queued up by the tracks? Those people are waiting for the next train just like you are, except they've done the BART equivalent of taking a number. Everyone can see you lingering on the sidelines acting like you aren't waiting for the next train, and when the train arrives, everyone can also see you hop the line and be the first to grab whatever seats remain. But here's the deal: You didn't work any harder that day than the rest of us, and you sure as hell don't want to get home any faster. So get at the back of the line where you belong.

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Facebook/ BART Idiot Hall of Fame
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After you cut in line, you refuse to make space for everyone else:
What the hell is wrong with you? You are not entitled to your own cubicle on BART. Move back, and then keep moving so the rest of us who didn't cut in line can get on the train we've been standing around waiting for. Nobody is asking you to be all Emily Post about it, just make room for the herd.

You smell like ass:
Everyone complains about how disgusting BART is, but have you ever considered that it's not BART, it's you. Maybe you don't know it, or, worse, maybe you just don't care, but the rest of us can smell you and we do care as long as we're being packed inside that train where breathable space is as plentiful as BART seats during rush hour.

See Also: BART Idiot Hall of Fame Facebook Page Documents Badly Behaved Passengers




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61 comments
c2check
c2check

I don't support the idea of a queue being orderly. The platforms are not built for queues. They block people walking along the platform and bunch people when they should be spread out away from the doors, especially as the queue often doesn't move to let passengers off the train first (even when people see a bicycle trying to get off the train. Seriously, let they guy out so he doesn't snag you with a pedal or something. And let people with baggage or bikes on first so they can get situated without having to try to move about with extra people on the train).
And when the line stretches the entire platform width and then I use the other half of the doorway instead of "waiting my turn" to get on the train, I'm not trying to be a dick, just loading efficiently and using all the door capacity. I'll even let you have a seat before me if there is one, if that's what you think you took a number for. Queuing makes especially little sense at any station that serves more than one line (you can't have one queue for 3 routes, seriously).

lanakila000
lanakila000

The worst part of BART is the drivers who can't seem to stop or start the cars without jerking you all around and if you are standing on a full train, you will bump into people who will blame you instead of the driver. After a few trips where I was accused of stomping on a woman who happened to be lucky enough to have a seat, when the last thing I wanted to do was bump into anyone let alone piss off an elderly lady. The drivers suck.

Teresa Secundus
Teresa Secundus

One other thing that bothers me is not giving seats up to the elderly and parents holding babies. They are being flung around while some jerk is playing games on their iPhone. I also love it when you get up to let someone off or let someone else sit down and the oblivious people immediately move in and steal the seat.

Teresa Secundus
Teresa Secundus

This isn't the nicest way of putting things, but it is all true...

Alice Wonderworld
Alice Wonderworld

Julie, you are gonna be so screwed when the zombie apocalypse comes; take this opportunity to hone your skills.

Julie PurpleSkater Hall
Julie PurpleSkater Hall

I just knew there had to be a reason why I've lived in the Bay Area for 33 years, and have never ridden BART.

David William Wagner
David William Wagner

I hate it because people are crazy and smell BAD on that ilk of a transit system

SFNATIVE
SFNATIVE

I'll never wait in line, you suckers! There's no official rule saying there's gotta be one. Who's to say that helps the trains board any faster? Nine times outta ten people are in line for trains they're not even gonna take!! Maybe when a train pulls up I could see the purpose in forming a line but I ain't about to stand in the same spot for 10 minutes as trains pass by again and again. I'd rather wait for my train to pull up, wait for everyone to onboard, and step right past you dorks in line. And what are you going to do about it besides write some article! ha!

Caria Tomczykowska
Caria Tomczykowska

Public transit is not what it could be. People behaving badly is not appreciated.

john.drefahl
john.drefahl

Im sorry, cutting the line is just survival of the fittest.  I understand you want everything to be central planned and organized so your sheepish life can be fulfilled.  However, I got places to go, things to do, and frankly I don't care that you stand in line for the train like an idiot.  Yes, I am asshole.  Try standing in line in the NYC Subway, tell me how it goes.

Sedric
Sedric

Seems like the author thinks he/she has a right to some sort of special treatment... or expects others to behave as he/she wants them to behave... Sounds an awful lot like suburban privilege leaking into the Bay Area....

Next article "How to tell you are too pretentious to live near BART".... Move to San Rafael or Danville or something, haha.

truthinsf
truthinsf

so true.  the number of people putting their feet up on seats is gross.

benjaminosgood
benjaminosgood

Bless you for writing this, I couldn't have said it better myself.  

GuestintheMachine
GuestintheMachine

You only have to take BART a few times before you realize the illogic of the "queue" which, incidentally, only occurs at Financial District stations among people used to acting like entitled sheep... The queue would only make sense if people waited for THEIR ACTUAL TRAIN to be coming before getting into it... don't stand by the entrance to the door if you don't intend to get on!



sortofkindadefinitel
sortofkindadefinitel

Haven't been on NYC trains, so I can't compare yet. I've been living in the SF Bay Area and riding BART for 10 years now, and I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiments above regarding the ridiculous line formation pattern. Just because you stand in line waiting doesn't mean that you deserve the opportunity to get on a train "before" me. The informal line pattern formation is inefficient and inappropriate as far as I'm concerned. When the doors open, whoever is closest deserves to enter. I'm also a avid cyclist. During weekday rush hours, I wait to board my bike until the rush hours calm down and the sardine trains empty out. I am well acquainted and adjusted to sensible courtesy in crowds. However just because a person decides to stand in an informal line doesn't mean they deserve to board according to their hypothetical "line number." If a formal line numbering system existed, I'd be happy to honor it. Until then, we're on our own people. This passive-aggressive line formation bull-crap must cease.

hansutro
hansutro

And here I thought that SF was the city of understanding, compromise, sensitivity and compassion......

eamonabrahamoconnor
eamonabrahamoconnor

wow when did people in the bay area become such babies? so much entitlement, so little perspective. in new york they call the transit woes detailed above "being in public" or "life." if somebody on the train is bothering you, be a big kid and use your words. tell them *in person* - don't let your petty resentments stew for months and then take them to the internet. it's so cowardly it's actually kind of disgusting. have we really forgotten how to live in an urban society with other fallible humans? i was born and raised in sf and oakland and i have seen the wuss-ification of my home happen in real time. it makes me deeply deeply sad. this article is so embarrassing. smh. 

wushuwrior
wushuwrior

Also... the dumbasses listening to shitty music on shitty speakers on their shitty phones. No one wants to hear your shit.

Frank Lucchese
Frank Lucchese

Quite a few things: people who take up two seats, usually by sleeping on them; people who don't bathe and stink the car up; idiots who play music so loud on their smart phone you are forced to listen to it (and it usually sucks); idiots who sing along to whatever music they're listening to; getting pushed into other people when there just isn't any more room; jerks who insist on talking to someone on their phone, forcing them to literally yell into the receiver when under the Bay. That's it for now. Haven't even read the article yet. Good night.

Eric C Rader
Eric C Rader

Never have I seen the BART police do anything when a passenger violates the rules.

moni0775
moni0775

THERE IS NO WAIT IN LINE RULE! I feel like people waiting in line for a train look stupid because they are lining up for no reason at all. The thing is, there are many different trains coming on one platform so you could be standing in line behind people who are just going to sit there and make you late for getting on the train and miss out on a seat. All while YOU were trying to be polite. As long as no one is elbowing or pushing to get on a train, that's as polite as I can expect on public transit! haha

javanero1
javanero1

I agree with the autor about 80%. BART is nasty but I figure if someone lays down and takes up all this space - they probably need the rest more than I do. I just always make sure to bring my headphones, have my phone and ipod as backup. My most recent essential is a travel size of Febreeze - works wonders for these stanky-ass people.

This is public transportation people. You don't like what you see, hear and smell - guess what? Move to another car, put on your earphones/buds, put on your sunglasses relax and enjoy the ride.

Oh, if you cut me off while I'm waiting in line - you may get more than a "look!" Lines work - don't screw up a good thing. "Entitlement," I guess you can call it that if I'm sitting there waiting - I guess I feel entitiled to get on when it's my turn. Not everyone is a "stiff" office worker.

hera74
hera74

What is the deal with the bay area and feet? I've lived here all of 8 months and I've seen more bare foot hate than I saw racism when I lived in the deep south. I'm starting to think this is the main difference from southern and northern California - southern california is the land of bare feet and up here the only thing worse than taking a crap on public transportation is taking off your shoes on public transportation. Or is hating on bare feet just the latest hipster trend to sweep the nation. 

yogini4
yogini4

Congratulations, you've just made fun of mentally ill people.

Stan James
Stan James

The ills of public transportation...BART is like a moving city. You are going to have knuckleheads along for the ride.So, where are the BART police? They are suppose to deter people behaving badly! All and all, isn't BART a good deal? Come on, you know it is!

bubu
bubu

Every form of public transportation has its negatives...BART is no different. But, where are the police to patrol people behavoir? Its funny, you see them when there is a heighten alert and I don't think that is overtime, they start doing their jobs! The public hates on BART because we think they can do a better job. Lately, there has been a lot of  pan-handlers on BART...again vigilent station agents and police presence will deter this behavoir. In addition, BART will have the ability to refuse service to those that been troublemakers or jeopardize public safety and health.

All and all BART is a good deal! They can do better and they will do better!

snoogins1919
snoogins1919

@john.drefahl Someone please tell me this guy is just being a troll.
As I think about it, I guess it's very likely that this isn't isn't considering there are asshats who cut, I just didn't think any of those troglodytic pricks has the ability to boot up a computer let alone string together a few words in to coherent sentences.

You know what else is survival of the fittest, pushing unsuspecting pricks in front of oncoming trains. But no one does that.

yelp.kae
yelp.kae

@john.drefahl I find it silly that we are so engrained with our elementary school training, we still line up like children. And no longer know how to move about in a civilized fashion without being herded like school kids.
 When I have to wait, I like to sit and wait. And then a bunch of people come and stand in a line during the 10-20mins wait. When the train comes and the doors open, over half of them are not even getting on that particular train. They are standing in the way of people trying to get off the train, and can't figure out why the people in the door trying to get out won't move back and let them on, and it turns into a free for all cluster fuck. Then when this clears some, the people standing behind the people not getting on the train give your dirty looks when you get on before the people who are not even getting on the train that the people in line are still somehow waiting behind because they haven't figured out the people they are behind are waiting for a different train.
 Just grow up, sit down, and relax like mature, adult people.

voltagebinary
voltagebinary

@john.drefahl i'll be watching for you so i can elbow the shit out of you when you try cutting in front of me. dickbag.

eddie.ferrusquia
eddie.ferrusquia

@john.drefahl Homie - places to go, things to do?  You think by cutting in line you're gonna get to your destination any faster?  Survival of the fittest?  This ain't Lord of the Flies or Survivor: Yuppie Edition or some shit, we're just talking about waiting for the damn train dude.  There's a reason we ain't living in NYC - it's so we ain't gotta fuck with douchebags who cut in line at the train stop.

thesnitch
thesnitch

@Sedric If you consider East Oakland suburban and privileged ... 

dongeous
dongeous

@sortofkindadefinitel I hope someday you are entangled in a mass of twisted metal and flesh as you slip and fall onto the tracks in front of an oncoming train in your haste to cut in front of people who have been waiting for the train for ten minutes, ya fuckin' ratfink douchebag. 

snoogins1919
snoogins1919

@hansutro It is...which is why people feel like it's okay to take a crap on a bus seat.

beezlegrunk
beezlegrunk

Coming from NY, I've noticed that the one thing that most people in the Bay area dread more than anything else is confrontation. The second-most thing they seem desperate to avoid is A) looking directly at other people, or B) speaking to people they don't know. None of this helps them deal with riding the subways, forming lines for anything, or performing almost any basic function in public. How these people get by from day to day baffles and amazes me. Maybe this is why they all seem so tuned out most of the time -- they simply can't deal with life amongst other people whom they don't know ...

dongeous
dongeous

@moni0775 Cut in front of me and hope you don't get elbowed onto the tracks, ya dumb bitch!

yelp.kae
yelp.kae

@hera74 Because there is so much piss and crap and other ickiness in the streets of SF, we are kind of grossed out by all that comes close to the ground it lays in.

yogini-is-ill
yogini-is-ill

@yogini4 i'm clapping for you.  hear that?  i'm clapping my hands. clap clap clap clap. you're so smart. i'm so glad we have the conversational IRS known as you. clappy clap clap clap!

randy240
randy240

@bubu In Japan, they have officers going up and down the cars. Making sure people are being civilized. Not eating, not even allowed to talk on cell phones. And their society is so well-trained, they barely need those people.

john.drefahl
john.drefahl

@snoogins1919 @john.drefahl Nope not being a troll, just being realistic.  I think this is all about my comments over the whole "lining up" part?  Well its true.. Its ridiculous to limit yourself to other peoples rules.. especially when they aren't rules at all.  When one starts self-regulating themselves based on seeing what others do, that is "Group think"..  And I don't subscribe to it.  Now I understand.. its not necessarily the nicest thing to do.  Cut a line.. But I didn't make line, and no one mandated that line.  I would rather get in, and get a seat.. That doesn't mean if an old comes up and needs my seat, I won't give up.. I am just saying.. I am not going to line because you all tell me to line up.

mattsson.tobias
mattsson.tobias

You haven't been to Sweden,that's for sure.

We swedes are dick heads trying to survive in any possible way being as stereotypical as possible with our "lagom" as our most famous/non existing word in our language.

The word "lagom" does only make sense in Swedish and basically means "in between - not too good, not too bad. It's alright, nuff said."

For example: The food was "lagom" spicy.

The weather is "lagom" warm.

Here in Sweden we never want to argue or we avoid conflicts. The only thing during those situations is that we can agree to disagree...

Imagine yourself being in my situation, a swede born and raised exept for the times traveling abroad to the US, Asia and other great places during my youth, then moving back and have to deal with these things all day, every day, 330-something days a year (yes, I travel to get away from this shit) and when ignorant humans (there's a huge difference between humans and people, I hate humans and love people) force their way onboard the MTR/subway/etc. I walk over these humans. Exsptions are eldery (if they ever do, I've never seen it) pregnant or kids.

You should see these people's faces and screaming and shouting not knowing what happened when I walk through them on my way off the train. XD

I bet it's worse here in Sweden than it is the Bay Area.

Swedes and humans in the Bay Area should learn from the Asians in cities like Bangkok, Hong Kong and Singapore and Taiwan.

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