Rookie Nudist Uses Binder Ring on His Cock, Dodges Jail Time

Categories: WTF?

That doesn't belong on your dick
Apparently, there is a way to be godawful at public nudity.

A San Francisco man and wannabe nudist was cleared of indecent exposure after a sympathetic jury decided his only crime was trying too hard to fit in with the Castro nudists.

According to the Public Defender's Office, 48-year-old Richard Sierra decided one cold November day -- for the first time ever -- to join the local "urban nudism" movement.

However, being a novice nudist, Sierra felt a bit self-conscious completely disrobing. So instead he compromised with himself (and subsequently the public), by pulling his pants down to his knees and yanking his tank top to just above his genitals. That way nobody would see his hidden scars on his stomach.

Then came the "cock ring."

Sierra noticed many of the longtime Castro nudists were showing off cock rings -- and he wanted one, too. Sierra came up with a quick fix and placed on his penis the only thing he could find: a metal ring from a binder.

Alas, there is a way to make public nudity seem even more foolish.

According to the Public Defender's Office:

He attached it to his shirt and looped it around his penis to ensure his scars were covered. Sierra stood in front of Citibank on Castro Street, his genitals exposed. Meanwhile, a 53-year-old man walking his dog saw Sierra arranging his genitals and flagged down two police officers on bicycles. The dog walker reported that Sierra appeared to be masturbating with personal lubricant.

Police officers interviewed Sierra, who denied masturbating. He told them that he wanted to be just like the "naked guys," but was too shy to embrace total nudity (which makes him totally unlike the naked guys). Sierra was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

During his three-day trial, Sierra testified that he was not touching himself for sexual gratification and that he did not have personal lubricant, only a prescription cream for his chronic eczema. However, he didn't rub the cream on his genitals. He said he had no intention of wasting the medication, pointing out that it costs him $100 a pop, according to the Public Defender's Office.

It's worth noting that the cops did not book any of Sierra's items into evidence, nor did they attempt to collect any cell phone photographs taken by witnesses. Rusty Mills, an expert nudist and an expert witness in the case testified, giving the jury a little insight about why cock rings are used outside of sex.

Jurors deliberated one day before deciding Sierra wasn't guilty. After the verdict was read, Sierra reportedly "wept with relief," which makes sense considering he was facing a maximum of one year in jail and lifetime registration as a sex offender.

Now that this is over, Sierra is undoubtedly looking for a new hobby.

My Voice Nation Help

I agree 100% with All-Nudist.  If Richard Sierra really wanted to be a nudist, he would have done a little homework into what being a nudist is.  He'd have visited a nudist resort or joined a nudist club, and learned that nudists don't wear shorts around their knees or tank tops pulled down to their genitals.  He'd have found that scars just don't matter because nudists accept people as they are, and that cock rings are not expected of a nudist.

Like All-Nudist, I too am disgusted by reporters who call every naked person a "nudist."  Do a little research and learn what nudist values are.

Nudists do not stand around naked on street corners offending people; exhibitionists stand around naked on street corners offending people.  Exhibitionists do not follow nudist/naturist principles or practices because they are not nudists!

    "Naturism is a way of life in harmony with nature, expressed through social nudity, linked to self-respect, tolerance of differing views together with respect for the environment".   - International Naturist Federation.

    "Nudists have the right to responsibly enjoy nudity within their homes and on private property. Nudists have the right to assemble in the nude within appropriate settings. Nudists have the right to responsibly enjoy being nude within appropriate locations on public lands."   - American Association for Nude Recreation

Does that sound like standing on the sidewalk sporting a cock ring?  If it does, you're sure not a nudist!

And does Journalism 101 not teach writer-wannabes how to research the meaning of words anymore?  Would this publication deliberately insult any other minority by falsely identifying them as what most of this country sees as exhibitionists and perverts, oddballs at best?  We have enough undeserved image problems of our own, thank you!

We are as offended by non-nudists being referred to as nudists just because they're naked as women would be by being called whores just because whores are women too!  Get it?

Perhaps SF Weekly would like to do a little research and use that new knowledge to lead the pack instead of blindly repeating that which everyone else has already incorrectly repeated from elsewhere.  That is, try journalism for a change.

Kevin Kirby
Kevin Kirby

Metaphorically speaking, it's become obvious that their supervisor was ashamed to live in his own skin...probably for good reasons.

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