East Bay Man Relies on Tupac-Loving Alligator to Guard His Marijuana Stash (Update)

Categories: Animals, WTF?

Alameda County Sheriff's Department
Also likes his bitches n' hoes
Update 12:18 p.m.: The Oakland Zoo released the sad news that Mr. Teeth, who was formally identified as a Caiman, not an alligator, died overnight.

Original Story 7:23 a.m.: Alameda County Sheriff's deputies say they arrested a Castro Valley man earlier this week after they discovered two alarming things: 1. 34 pounds of marijuana, and 2. One 5-foot long alligator Caiman guarding the stash.

Curious deputies had dropped in on 32-year-old Assif Mayar at his Mount Jasper Drive residence around 1:30 p.m. on Tuesday for a probation compliance check when they came across Mayar's fat stash of dried, processed marijuana. Next to it was a plexiglass tank which housed an alligator-like animal, appropriately enough named Mr. Teeth, Sgt. J.D. Nelson told reporters.

See also: Banana-Sam, Stolen Monkey, Communicates to His Fans via Twitter

Nelson explained that Mayar had bought Mr. Teeth in 1996 to "commemorate the death of rapper Tupac Shakur." The alligator Caiman was then assigned to serve as a deterrent for "would-be marijuana thieves."

And the alligator Caiman took his job seriously. "As soon as you get near it -- the plexiglass area -- the alligator gets agitated," Nelson noted.

Mayar was booked into the Santa Rita Jail in on drug possession and sales charges, according to the sheriff's office. He could get slapped with additional charges because of the alligator Caiman.

Neighbors told KTVU that they weren't surprised to learn Mayar was accused of dealing drugs, but they were, not surprisingly, surprised to hear Mayar's partner was a gator.

Here's what one unidentified neighbor told KTVU: "Having an alligator live across the street from you is outrageous," said the woman. "When I drove up, there were six police cars trying to deal with the alligator."

Mr. Teeth was taken to the Oakland Zoo, where vets are assessing his health, which seems to be not-so-great (too many drugs?). Vets say he is fairly sick and likely stressed from the drug bust. After he's checked out, he's expected to be placed in quarantine, zoo officials said.

As for Mayar, he's scheduled to be appear in court this afternoon.

Looks like San Francisco's Banana-Sam might have a new partner in crime.

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Adelaida Caballero
Adelaida Caballero

So sad...removed from its natural habitat and probably starved to death

John Lilly
John Lilly

That's awfully coincidental. Who killed Mr. Teeth?


Guard?  Laughable at best as the stash would have been guarded from any and all persons including the owner (besides, wasn't the gator in a tank?).  A guard gator?  Interesting as reptiles possess neither a Limbic nor a Neocortex.....It takes a special kind of stupid to assume so much....

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