5 Reasons You Should Move to S.F. If You Are Fat (NSFW)

Categories: Health, Humor

We weren't that surprised to learn this morning that San Francisco is the No. 1 spot to live if you were hoping to shed that baby fat in 2013 -- it's a walkable city filled with steep, steep hills, endless hiking trails, and other thin, attractive people who make you want to be a better person.

But those are way too obvious. The less noticeable reasons this place will help plus-sized people are right below:

5. Nobody can afford food here, and even if we could, our local leaders won't really let us eat: No, that wasn't a slam on Ross Mirkarimi, really it wasn't. The food in S.F. is so damn good and so damn expensive that even upper-middle-class people can only afford to split a burrito. But we're guessing it won't be long before Eric Mar et al. will pass some asinine law banning sour cream and cheese in the Mission.

Gil Riego Jr.
4. Public Nudity is a natural weight loss plan: San Francisco has been one of the only Bay Area cities that allows men and women to walk around our beautiful city pantless. If you've never caught sight of one of these nudists, believe us when we say, it will put you off your food for at least 24 hours.

3. How many studies do "they" need to do to prove that San Francisco is a city full of sluts? That means we like sex, and we like it all the time. And any decent doctor will tell you that sex is hard physical and psychological work.

My Voice Nation Help
4 comments
Naturistspace.org
Naturistspace.org topcommenter

Who give you the right to do this? If God wanted us to be naked, we'd be born that way. Nothing wrong with being naked as long as you enjoy it and can handle it. If you are looking to try something new, the clothes free lifestyle could be your answer to meeting true nudist friends. Visit 【nudistsocialclub.c0m】 to learn more about nudists

loinmastersf
loinmastersf

Very true. Except for the sex one, you wont get sexxy good time until you already loose the weight.

Todd Ganser
Todd Ganser

Stroll the disgusting sidewalks in this town...you'll lose your appetite fast.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.
Loading...