Here Are the 20 Dumbest Bay Area Crimes of 2012

Jesse Nesbitt: San Francisco's perpetual object-thrower.
10. Jesse Nesbitt, Accused Occupy Brick-Tosser, Previously Arrested for Bottle-Tossing
Sticks and stones may break my bones. So do bricks. And, so do bottles. Jesse Nesbitt has been accused by San Francisco police of hurling the latter two at city employees; his alleged brick tossed off the roof of 888 Turk Street missed a police officer but did strike a bystander.

9. Motown Imposter Alan Young Arrested

Alan Young, a veteran con man who has, repeatedly, passed himself off as singer-songwriter Lamont Dozier and other minor Motown celebrities, is back in custody.

8. Smurfs Movie Allegedly Drives San Francisco Mother to Drink and Drive

According to the San Mateo County District Attorney's Office, 41-year-old Sarah Boushey was so drunk after seeing the Smurfs movie with her 4-year-old daughter, where she allegedly pounded a half-bottle of vodka, that she couldn't even remember her own name when officers pulled her over.

7. Accused Giggling Masturbator Gets Off ... of Criminal Charge

A San Francisco man accused of exposing himself to a woman while riding BART was acquitted of all charges after a jury concluded that there was no real evidence he was masturbating en route to San Francisco.

Deputy Phil Tong was arrested.
6. Phil Tong, Sheriff's Deputy, Arrested on Suspicion of Bank Robbery
Officer Albie Esparza tells us that on Nov. 7 about 4:50 p.m., Deputy Phil Tong, 36, allegedly walked into the Bank of America at 3701 Balboa Street, handed the teller a note that said he had a gun, and demanded cash. He fled with $1,700 and was last seen on Balboa Street headed toward 39th Avenue. He was also seen on the bank's video surveillance.

5. Idiot Allegedly Tries to Smuggle 2.5 Pounds of Cocaine by Swallowing it

This not-so-bright man was busted at San Francisco International Airport after he allegedly attempted to smuggle 2.5 pounds of cocaine-filled pellets in his stomach.

4. Dumb Crooks Steal iPad, Crash into News Van, Become Today's News Story

The incident started when an unidentified man hopped out of a Mercedes SUV and ripped a backpack, with an iPad inside, from a woman sitting outside a Peet's Coffee shop in Lower Pacific Heights.

3. Dumb Robber Can't Steal Car Because He Doesn't Know How to Work a Hybrid

According to police reports, a cab driver was flagged down at the intersection of 18th Avenue and Geary Bouelvard. The suspect told the cabbie to take him to the other side of Golden Gate Park where he tried -- but failed miserably -- to steal the hybrid taxi.

Luke Thomas, Fog City Journal
Was hoping to see Scott's wiener.
2. Local Blogger Arrested for Trying to Photograph Supervisor Scott Wiener's Wiener
Local blogger Michael Petrelis says he was arrested after he attempted to snap a lewd photo of his San Francisco nemesis Supervisor Scott Wiener in the men's bathroom at City Hall.

And the dumbest crime from 2012 is...

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