Here Are Some Really Weird Ways to Celebrate the End of the World on Dec. 21

Categories: Humor

There are 11 more shopping days until Christmas, but only seven until the end of the world, assuming you believe that Dec. 21, the end of the Mayan calendar, is your last day on Earth.

The Mayans, you know, those pre-Columbians who lived in Central America before the Spanish got there, measured time in baktuns, which lasts about 400 years. Some say the Mayans predicted the end of creation after the 13th baktun, which falls on Dec. 21. However, scholars have described it as nothing more than a really long wall calendar.

In other words, when it runs out, time doesn't stop -- you just get a new calendar.

But we humans love our doomsday predictions. Remember how scared we were pre-Y2K? And then those off-the-wall predictions by Oakland preacher Harold Camping, who admitted to screwing up on his math when the world didn't end.

We don't care if the world ends or not -- come Dec. 21, we plan to party like it's our last day (it also happens to be a Friday). Meanwhile, around the world, others are prepping in their own strange ways:

Russians are waxing especially paranoid, stocking up on candles and (cheap?) vodka, because lots of alcohol always saves the day.

Speaking of supplies, one group was charging $5,000 for a seat in a bunker near Tenterfield, Australia, designed to survive the end of the world. They used the money from ticket sales to construct the bunker. Just think of all the ways in which they could have saved the world with that money.

Unfortunately, time has run out to get tickets, but if you're looking for a disconcerting glimpse at your time left on the planet, check out this doomsday clock.

NASA scientists, who we hope are a little better at math than Harold Camping, are so positive the world won't end Dec. 21 that they've released this video, titled "Why the World Didn't End Yesterday," for everyone to watch while they're in bed with hangovers on Dec. 22.

In case you didn't know, Dec. 21 not only marks the end of the Mayan calendar, but it also marks the winter solstice -- or the shortest day of the year for those in the Northern hemisphere. Early risers can celebrate their last day on Earth with a solstice sing-a-long in Oakland.

If you've worked up an appetite from all that vocalizing, then head to the Canvas Underground in San Francisco and chow down Mayan-style. Then when night falls, revelers can dance the night away at parties like Party at the End of the World, not to be confused with Party for the End of the World, or Fishbone End of the World. There's also the 120 Minutes End of the World Party.

Committed party animals can take part in a four-day celebration that kicks off Dec. 21. Celebrate the end of the world, then celebrate the world not ending -- what a great idea.

Those who are really audacious and looking for a new adventure should consider answering this "harmless" Craigslist ad from folks looking for virgins to sacrifice .

If you can't sleep, or you are up for some light reading, i09 has compiled some of the weirdest end-of-the-world predictions in history.

Have fun!

Keep up with the Snitch on Facebook

My Voice Nation Help

Now Trending

From the Vault


©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.