Texans Petition Obama to Let Lone Star State Secede

Categories: Politics, WTF?
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If you were planning to pack up your Chick-fil-A coupons and move to Texas -- where the death penalty is considered a Hallmark moment and there is no such thing as state income tax -- you might want to hold your horses.

After threatening another Civil War if President Barack Obama won reelection, the bitter folks down in Texas and Alabama are attempting to make a graceful exit from the United States of America and create their own (damn scary) government.

Some 30,000 people have signed a petition, asking Obama if Texas could please sever ties with the rest of the freaky union so it can continue its intolerance in peace.

See also: Texas Judge Hopes Obama Will Win So He'll Have an Excuse to Start Another Civil War

Top 5 Reasons Californians Are Moving to Texas

Here's what the petition says:
The US continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government's neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending. The citizens of the US suffer from blatant abuses of their rights such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world, it is practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union, and to do so would protect it's citizens' standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government.
Funnily enough, it's not just Texans who want to see Texas go -- there are a handful of signatures from denizens of the left-leaning sates, including New York, Oregon, and yes, California. All of these helped would-be secessionists surpass their goal of 25,000 signatures; as of Monday evening, 30,894 people signed in support of of Texas bailing.

Denizens of other southern states, including Alabama, Kentucky, and Florida, have started similar petitions, hoping the White House will release them from this Obama-ruling country.

Alabamans, for instance, cited the founding fathers in their request to be excused from the United States, claiming they would want it this way.

"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

According to the White House, if the petitions get enough support within 30 days, they will be sent to the appropriate policy experts for review.

It's worth noting that We the People, the White House's online petition platform, has hosted other kooky requests, including asking the feds to acknowledge the existence of extraterrestrials and to reveal the White House beer recipe.

UFOs, beer, and secessionism. Just another day in the South.


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32 comments
asensiomiguel
asensiomiguel

U.S Congress is a shame...Montana have 2 representatives the same than California with 45.million people.

asensiomiguel
asensiomiguel

California or Bay Area deserves secession more than Texas or Alabama.

Sean Kerns
Sean Kerns

Who's gonna bail out California??? You take away Texas's tax contribution to the federal budget and when the idiots that you idiots put into office in Sacramento bankrupt this joint.....nobody bails us out. You'll have the rest of the country and third world California. Any to the douche bags bringing up race...eat a big bag of dicks!! There are as many racist people in the bay as there are anywhere else in any other part of the country. Sheltered, uneducated, myopians!!!

Montira Warran
Montira Warran

Well, if they feel that they can survive as their own sovereign nation, then let them try and make a go of it.

Adam Viguers
Adam Viguers

It's obviously not because of the president's skin color. The purpose is that southern states have always supported stronger state government, with less control from the federal government. "Morons" Greg, you're the moron.

Laura Palmer-Cobb
Laura Palmer-Cobb

Just because you don't for Obama doesn't make u a racist. Sigh. Why always the race card? Can't you just not have the same beliefs in politics?!

Greg Nemet
Greg Nemet

I don't give a damn. If they want to sure let them. It will be the most ridiculous independence ever. Mommy why did Texas leave the union? Oh honey it's because the union had a black president. Morons.

Antonio J. Solano
Antonio J. Solano

California should do this we have everything we need to be a successful independent state.

Adam Viguers
Adam Viguers

It's their right, who is the US to stop them!? Maybe more states will follow suit.

Jorge Junior
Jorge Junior

racist rednecks. Boot Texas out, then go to war with them and take their shit!

camarocing
camarocing

**** Must Read and spread*** Ok this is coming from me UNITED STATES ARMY Private Joshua Silamianos not some random person or somebody with a bogus opinion.... November 11th 2012 was veterans day if I'm not mistaken and today November 12th 2012 I find out that about 27 states are looking to secede from the United States of America, all because a man was elected president are we really that naive people come on he's president for 4 more years. Just saying President Bush god bless his heart took us into a war that his father started and made our country go bankrupt despite what you "want" to believe. Then we make history having the first African-American voted into office and we showed the world that we were more mature as a country well that went out the flipping window when everyone decided that President Obama couldn’t make all of us rich overnight. This country was built on blood sweat and tears and it sure as heck wasn’t built over night and it’s never been perfect but look outside and look at the stars if its dark you can look at those stars freely just like you can hate my status freely because you’re an American. What do you think is going to happen if these states secede? Well let’s see every other country hates us so they want it to happen so it’s easier to attack us and on top of that new governments aren't going to be made over night, so come on people before you make a dumb decision make a smart one and actually think about the consequences. Shoot go on vacation out of the country for 4 years if it’s that big of a deal I bet you'll want to come back to the United States of America. Instead of investing on these BS petitions invest in the United States of America because no matter who is the President of the United States we the people control what happens to this country.... I AM A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES AND I AM A SOLDIER OF THE UNITED STATES AND I BELIEVE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA NOT ONE STATE....

jbosqu
jbosqu

Texas has large pockets of democratic districts. It is just a huge state that has a disproportionately rural populace in comparison to most states, and rural districts are almost always pro-republican. 30, 894 signatures is barely a school district in a major Texas city, so lumping all Texans under the banner of ignorant southerners really just reflects the ignorance right back onto you. It's called research...I know most modern "journalists" find that word archaic, but you might want to dig a little deeper next time.

SFNative
SFNative

As long as Austin can secede from Texas, no one will miss those Texas fucks one bit.  Texas sucks.  DItto for Alabama, Kentucky, and Florida.

acebandit75839
acebandit75839

@Greg Nemet No it's because the illegal muslim occupier is destroying this country.

acebandit75839
acebandit75839

@Greg Nemet No it's because we have an illehal muslim occupier that is destroying this country.

DanMitchell
DanMitchell

 @jbosqu Where's the part where she lumped "all" Texans together?The fact is that the majority of Texans, while perhaps not secessionist, are wingers who elect backward people to office on a regular basis, among other horrible things. The relative handful of more-civilized regions doesn't really change that.

jbosqu
jbosqu

 @mitchell39 Wording isn't nearly as important as meaning. And you just did it yourself, by saying the majority of Texans. Whether you say specifically "all" or "majority", your meaning is the same, and is meant to paint Texans with a broad brush. So thank you mitchell39, you just supported my position. If anyone has an intelligent point of view please feel free to comment.

DanMitchell
DanMitchell

 @jbosqu Yeah, you're still just saying that all generalizations are illegitimate, which is insane. I look at a map, and see that Texas is one big splotch of red, with a few speckles of blue here and there (yes, representing a lot of people). Things are generally something, even when they're not *totally* something. Exceptions are always assumed when you're talking about populations of millions of people, at least if the audience isn't made up of children or the mentally enfeebled. If we have to start by explaining that, we won't be able to communicate at all. I mean, you don't really assume that the person who wrote this actually believes that Texas is *nothing but* a bunch of crazy hillbillies, do you?Also, you're right. Other states also elect backward politicians. Each one of the states has a reputation of one kind or another, which those states are themselves responsible for. Like South Carolina and Arizona, for instance.

jbosqu
jbosqu

Okay if you think I glossed over your "points" then my apologies, I guess choosing to ignore them wasn't a hint enough of my opinion but let's go backwards rather than forwards now. So, she lumped all Texans together when, through her wording, (yea!) she never differentiates the radicals this article is addressing from the general Texas populace. Whether it was intentional or just poor editing, we may not know, but the Chick-fil-a quip indicates that she is putting us all under one umbrella, even though San Antonio has the largest population of gay and lesbian hispanics in the country, but hey once again, who needs facts! Now as far as our elected officials, you got me there. We certainly have elected some dirt bags in our time. I mean its embarrassing, especially when no other state in the country has ever had any cases of scandal or corruption or covering up in their history. I mean you'd think with all the shining examples every other state has put forth we'd know better by now, but we just gotta have our corrupt officials! All snarkiness aside, I will admit, we Texans do have a certain amount of pride when it comes to this state, and we do find pride in calling ourselves Texans...you know since we are one of the most culturally diverse states in the union with a 37% hispanic populace, and 12% black populace, which when put with the other smaller percentages of native american and asian americans, puts those white devils as actually a minority. I know how much liberals hate to offend us non whiteys, so please, the next time you want to slander a Texan, just know that you are likely talking trash about a brown person. (gasp!) And while I'm not nor ever was a fan of Rick Perry, he did make it a mandate for young women to receive a vaccine preventing HPV, and though he later backpedaled over his decision and called it a mistake because he's basically a huge tool bag, it did show progressive initiative on the right wing. That's pretty much the only good he ever did so I can concede that point. Anyway, I doubt anyone cares at this point and I'm not going to write a thesis in the comments section of a biased throw away article, but there you go. And if anyone thinks my comment addressing stereotypical texans and californians was anything but tongue in cheek, please do both states a favor and die in a house fire. 

DanMitchell
DanMitchell

 @jbosqu I'm not particularly left wing, but whatever - ignore the points I made entirely and keep pretending that there are no such things are general truths. Or just, facts. If you want to isolate San Francisco and Hollywood from most of the rest of California, your stereotypes are, in fact, more-or-less accurate, if lamely and tritely expressed. And yet, yes, there are people who live in both places who don't fit the stereotype - lots of them, even.

jbosqu
jbosqu

 @mitchell39 Well allright then lemme just take my 10 gallon hat and hop on ol trigger here and I'll be on my way to the klan rally. And you can go hand-in-hand with your same sex partner to the tofu bar and discuss the latest hollywood gossip since we know you're just an out of work actor. Funny, it's typically the right wing that perpetuates stereotypes, but you seem to be doing a fine job of it.

DanMitchell
DanMitchell

 @jbosqu I mean, it IS a majority of people who regularly vote for those people and policies, right?

DanMitchell
DanMitchell

 @jbosqu  @mitchell39 Oh, so I guess it *was* a legitimate response. OK then.Well, no, wording is actually pretty important. It's what conveys meaning. Texans paint *themselves* with a broad brush, pretty regularly and explicitly. That's why all the crazy politicians, and textbooks denying evolution, and the sentencing of children, innocent people, and the mentally retarded to be put to death on a lethal-injection assembly line, and dragging black dudes behind pickup trucks, and Rick Perry and whatnot. It's nearly the reddest of red states. Why must we be held to the standard of proving a thing to be 100 percent pure something before we can characterize it as being generally something? Describing Texas as backward and scary (notwithstanding the many not-backward and not-scary people who live there) is *generally* accurate, whether you like it or not. If it's a problem for you, do something to help change Texas, but don't try to alter simple reality by insisting that nobody ever criticize the state for what it is. There are sane people in loony bins and innocent people in jail, too. But we can still conclude that most people in loony bins are insane and most people in jail are criminals. See?

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