S.F. Nudists to Memorialize Naked Teen Shot to Death by Alabama Cops
These local exhibitionist are rightfully disturbed by the news that a naked Alabama teen was shot to death last weekend by a University of Southern Alabama cop. According to the press, 18-year-old Gil Collar was allegedly buck naked and possibly high on LSD when he was killed.
The fact that he was killed while nude is enough reason for nudist czar Mitch Hightower to organize a memorial tonight to honor the college freshman. Bloggers are reporting that naked people will gather at Jane Warner Plaza at Castro and Market streets at 6 p.m.
See also: Supervisor Scott Wiener to Introduce Legislation Forcing Nudists to Wear Clothes
Nudists to Rally for Naked People, but Kindly Ask That You Leave Your Hard-Ons at Home
It will be a good time for nudists, who might soon be forced to wear clothes in San Francisco, to try to convince everyone else in the Castro that they should tolerate these freely flapping penises. But don't let those dicks distract you from the more important display on the plaza tonight: pictures of Collar.
Alabama police say Collar took off all his clothes before assaulting people. He banged on the windows at the police station and was generally acting how any college freshman guy acts after a night of perhaps too much fun. But because they don't mess around in Alabama, the cops came outside the station where they found Collar drenched in sweat, and shot him, according to Alabama news outlets.
Here's what Hightower told SF Weekly about tonight's memorial:
It is the second worst nightmare of many nudists that I know to be violently attacked while naked. Shooting someone who is naked and unarmed is murder, even if it happened at the hands of the police. For those of us that are parents, the first worst nightmare would be facing the loss of a child under any circumstances. Many of the nudists feel it could have been any one of us that were shot here in SF, especially because of the hostile environment created by Supervisor Scott Wiener and his ridiculous headline-grabbing nudity ban legislation.There will be candles, flowers, and nude speakers there to talk about Collar's death. Come on down to honor the teen. If you prefer to wear clothes, please dress in all black.