Texans Can Relax, Civil War Part Deux Averted

Categories: Breaking News
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... or their cowboy boots
If you thought that Texas judge was off his rocker when he warned of an pending civil war should President Obama be reelected, well you aren't alone.

Apparently, the United Nations thinks the judge is kinda nuts, too.

As readers might recall, last week Lubbock County Judge Tom Head went public with his paranoia over President Obama, claiming that the citizens of Texas needed to raise their own taxes to prepare for civil war in the event that Obama wins another four years.

To quote the tough-talking judge:

"[Obama]'s going to try to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the U.N., and what is going to happen when that happens ... I'm thinking the worst. Civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe. And we're not just talking a few riots here and demonstrations, we're talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms and get rid of the guy."

But on Friday, the United Nations responded to Head's nonsense, claiming the notion that the very busy U.N. would invade Texas is "absolutely ridiculous," although we're sure it's tempting.

Martin Nesirky, spokesman for U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon told Reuters that "No one, not even the United Nations, would ever mess with Texas."

Head had been pushing West Texas voters to support a 1.7 percent tax increase, which would help pay for seven more sheriff's deputies to fend off the United Nations in the event of the Civil War part deux. "I don't want 'em in Lubbock County, okay?," Head asserted. "So I'm going to stand in front of their armored personnel carrier and say 'you're not coming in here. And the sheriff, I've already asked him, I said, 'You gonna back me?' He said, 'Yeah, I'll back you.' Well, I don't want a bunch of rookies back there. I want trained, equipped, seasoned veteran officers to back me."

Turns out, voters don't have to worry about paying taxes or another Civil War. That's really good news, because if Texas had become independent again, you can bet your steel-toe boots that it would be three years or less before it'd become the United Republic of Mexican Drug Cartels.

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KojiLinx
KojiLinx

"...because if Texas had become independent again, you can bet your steel-toe boots that it would be three years or less before it'd become the United Republic of Mexican Drug Cartels."

 

Texas may have our fair share of paranoid psychopaths but one thing we're not is weak.  Mexican Drug Cartels are a problem for Texas because we share a border with them -- that's basic cause and effect.  Should Texas become independent, I doubt the Cartels will be able to gain anymore ground than what they already have.  It's Texas officers that keep them at bay and should the leash of US Law be severed, I wouldn't want to be in a Mexican Cartel in Texas.

riott
riott

 @KojiLinx And I am sure that fear of the US military has nothing to do with the drug cartels not invading.

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