Warm Weather Inspires Public Masturbation

Categories: WTF?
Just another night in the Bay Area
The Examiner brings us this not-so-pleasurable story this morning about a disturbing uptick in public masturbation -- and we're not referring to your Muni ride last night.

Just last week in Half Moon Bay, sheriff's deputies were called to a report of a man who allegedly had been pleasuring himself while peering into a bedroom window of home on Amesport Landing at about 5:30 a.m. According to the Ex, the homeowner chased after the masturbating man, but lost sight of him. San Mateo County deputies later spotted the suspect and arrested him after another chase.

Gilberto Flores, 33, was booked on charges of indecent exposure, peeping, and resisting arrest, deputies said.

But wait, there's more!

Something equally creepy and disgusting happened in Fremont late last month. A 32-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of jerking off while staring at a 15-year-old girl through her bedroom window.

And two weeks ago in San Francisco, a man was caught exposing more than his environmental views. Police said a man who was passing out fliers about electronic recycling was also seen masturbating in public that same day. 

A witness said she saw the man in the early afternoon servicing himself on the steps of her house in the 200 block of Moncada Way, just east of Junipero Serra Boulevard.

"The man admitted doing this," police told the Examiner.

And then on May 7, San Francisco police busted another man who was seen exposing himself and defecating near a preschool in the 200 block of Eucalyptus Avenue.

"The officer located the man, who told him that he was drunk and couldn't 'hold it,'" police said.

What a shitty thing to do.

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Patrick Connors
Patrick Connors

May is National Masturbation Month, you know. People gotta celebrate and have a good time. This is like a month long Christmas. Don't be a hater. Be a masturbator!

I would post a link to that claim but I'm at work and I don't want to get fired. 

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