Cops Crack Down on Couch Potatoes in Golden Gate Park

Captain John Feeney

Captain Feeney isn't really comfortable with this sofa.

San Francisco is one of those cities where you think you have seen it all -- and truth be told, you probably have. Which is why we were kinda surprised that a San Francisco Police captain was surprised to find two dudes lounging on a sofa in Golden Gate Park together.

Captain John Feeney tells us he was recently strolling along Haight and Stanyon streets when he shocked to see the two guys not just sitting, but comfortably reclined on this ugly couch near Alvord Lake. "They were fully reclined on the couch, as if they were sitting in their own living room watching television," Feeney says.

Annoyed by this public nuisance, Feeney walked right up to those two couch potatoes and let them know that carting a sofa to the park was "over the top and not acceptable."

One of the guys told me that he found the couch on the sidewalk a few blocks away and had dragged it to the park so he and his friend could watch the sunset."

A springtime sunset on the sofa in the park sounds kind of sweet to us, but Feeney wasn't smiling.

"I offered to allow the guy to take the couch home with him, but he declined my offer and said that we could have it," Feeney says.

So the captain called up the city's Department of Public Works and requested officials there come haul away the love seat, but DPW staff told him they couldn't get to it until the next morning -- after sunrise. "There was no way I was going to leave this couch sitting out all night so it could wind up deeper in the park as a sofa sleeper," Feeney said.

Feeney called on his beat officers to load the sofa into a truck and drop it off at Park Station for the night, where he knew for sure no vagrants would be camping out. DPW came to get the sofa the next day.

It's definitely not the weirdest thing Feeney has come across in Golden Gate Park, but it certainly was one of the more irksome ones, which is why he's asking everyone to stop dumping hosusehold items. "Your used mattress could end up in the Panhandle, Golden Gate Park or BV Park, or lit on fire," Feeney explains. "Yes, it is a humane thought that you are helping someone less fortunate, and I appreciate that. However, you are contributing to the creation of blight in the community."

You are also getting on Feeney's nerves.

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