Sandra Fluke's Crudest and Most Cowardly Online Attackers: A Literary Analysis

Categories: Media
sandra-fluke-susan-fluke-condoms-politics-1330577745.jpg
See, "screw" is a pun. Jokes!
Because she had the temerity to be a woman in America with an opinion about something, Sandra Fluke has spent the last week being both attacked and honored by people who have not read or watched the testimony she gave before Congress but still somehow know everything about her.

Rush Limbaugh, that angry pile of vanilla soft-serve, said the kind of things about her that he has long made a living out of saying about women, and now he's in hilarious trouble, especially since this time he made explicit what he often just implies. The Internet is chockablock with people who make Rush Limbaugh's implications even more explicit, many of them angry men who have decided to post anonymous attacks against Fluke because they claim she represents the thing that men hate most: A woman who wants to have lots of sex. Wait, what?

The current respectable right-wing online complaint against her is that the third-year law student is 30 years old, which somehow proves she is a liar, because all lawyers graduate at 13 like Doogie Howser. Also, they're mad because it turns out that she has previously expressed opinions on the topics about which she testified before Congress, which obviously is a terrible thing to do, as nobody with any expertise is as smart as people lacking it.

That's the arguments made by bloggers. The commenters, though, are rawer about it -- more Rush Limbaugh After Dark. From a site called MRC TV, here's a string of actual message-board comments in response to a somewhat less-stupid post titled "Sandra Fluke, Gender Reassignment, and Health Insurance."

Sandra Fluke, Gender Reassignment, and Health Insurance   MRCTV-223907.jpg
Note that prim/horny first comment had 104 likes as of 10:30 P.M. EST. Since it's impossible that a human being could think of something so impossibly dumb and still somehow figure out how to manipulate a computer keyboard in order to communicate it, it must be deceptively complex modern literature. Let's dig in.

The comment opens in the first person, in a voice that we are meant to purport is Sandra Fluke's: "Pay for me to have SEX," this ersatz Fluke says, cap-shouting "sex" because it's a word that people who have had sex tend to holler to the heavens.

Then, like all Georgetown students, pretend Fluke drops in a "cuz" instead of "because," probably because it's hard to speak multisyllabic words around all the SEX in their mouths. After that, she proclaims herself an "insatiabl WHORE," cleverly demonstrating that insatiability by not having time to finish spelling "insatiable." Instead, overcome with horny Tourettes, she shouts "whore" and explains "because I'm having way more sex than I can afford to pay for." The end of this sentence circles back to the sentence's beginning, suggesting the fevered, forever loop that is the sex life of a Georgetown student, a sex life so intense that diaphragms or the monthly birth-control pills are quite literally burnt through, like tires when you're doing donuts, so taxpayers have to pony up for more.

Then, the first-person of the fake Fluke suddenly gives way to the third-person of commenter Bobit, just like the alternating perspectives Dickens pioneered in Bleak House: "LOL, what a dumb SLUT," Bobit writes. By wrenching us from one persona and into another, Bobit captures something of the alienation from self that a life of relentless, crotch-burning, consequence-free, taxpayer-funded Georgetown sex almost certainly leads to. Consciousness itself shatters.

Sandra Fluke's testimony has nothing to do with her own sex life, and there's something deeply unsettling about the mix of primness and lurid fantasizing going on all around, from Limabugh's wish to see sex tapes to the zeal that these anonymous commenters bring to imagining that law school students have time for Bacchanals.

And also again, don't forget that this tone was set by Limbaugh himself, who only apologized for using the words "slut" and "prostitute" but also actually said that he was surprised Fluke could "even walk" into the capital after all the sex she must have been having.


Follow Alan Scherstuhl on Twitter at @studiesincrap, and SF Weekly at SFWeekly and @TheSnitchSF.


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19 comments
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pmerkin
pmerkin

The left has been spewing vile verbal venom non-stop for a long time.  All of a sudden when someone gives as good as he gets, its a problem.  Shades of the Gabby Gifford incident where we had the "Target" logo called into question by the same left that had issued literal death threats to presidents (GW) and conservative politicians.   The marxist left has set the tone for political discourse and is now reaping the "benefits".

jokedoctor
jokedoctor

I wonder what Limbaugh's opinion is on insurance providing coverage for Oxycotin? I think he'd support coverage for drug addicts in this case, don't you?

...the science behind the art...http://www.standupcomedyclinic... 

Bilitis
Bilitis

this whole scenario worked out very well for Sandra Fluke.  She got a lot of publicity and likely a series of guest commentaries since she's now an authority on women's issues.  Rush may have lost a few advertisers and one outlet but he got a lot of publicity as well. Win win!

Oh and I don't think it's appropriate to infer that Sandra is a prostitute.  She would not make a very appealing prostitute.

Thirdeye
Thirdeye

"Oh and I don't think it's appropriate to infer that Sandra is a prostitute.  She would not make a very appealing prostitute."

You're the expert, I guess.

Johnston
Johnston

He's correct-who in their right mind would want to hit that six times a day? She's got to be a plant because I refuse to believe this is possible.

juandos
juandos

You mean someone like your hero Anthony Weiner or was that Barney Frank?

Dittodumb
Dittodumb

Rush got arrested with someone else's viagra on a flight back from the Dominican. He called it a boys weekkend. Maybe you should find a better moral man to defend.

ShivaShakti
ShivaShakti

Viagra is 100 percent covered by insurance. Birth control pills for fibroids and cysts? No because she's a "whore". Taxpayer covered Viagra for the men that constantly cheat on their wives? Perfect.

I_educate
I_educate

ignorant.    I-g-n-o-"rant".  Thats what you people are doing.  Ovarian cysts are cured by progesterone in the birth control pill.. it saved my life assholes.   If I couldn't get the pill i would be in constant pain.   It isn't about sex idiots!!

getaclue
getaclue

Actually the pill causes cancer, so you may want to seek another remedy for ovarian cysts.  Sounds like you need to be re-educated.  You really need to change your diet. (5'2" 300 maybe?)

Birth Control is not a political issue.  This is a joke and we're wasting our time here.  Nobody wants to take your birth control away.  No one is against birth control.  Heck go to Walmart and pony up the $16 a month.  Or smoke cigarettes if you want cancer that badly. 

BDL
BDL

But then, it might be about sex, and that's okay, too. Women have sex, people! And while I know most men (and some women) regard our sex organs as actual and metaphorical black holes, sucking in otherwise unwilling man parts and all that's good and pure in the world, they're actually kind of pretty and nothing to be afraid of.

Ronnie Spraggs
Ronnie Spraggs

Aw c'mon Alan man!.. inventive commenteerin' is now simply an extension of our God givin' rites undah thah Firstist Amen-dmint to owah Consteetution, as ordained by Jesus hisself.

Jus' lookee here at this wun of mine tuh be foun' in America's highist circeelation newspaper, under this aricle abou' Newt Gingrich: http://usat.ly/xnalFB

Here's what it says:

Apart frum settin lawmen on judgiz he don' agree with, I've also herd that this he'ah Newt Gingrich character is in favor of flyin the Confederit flag owtside public buildins, schools, churches an suchlike. 

Now this jus ain't rite! 

I live in a trailer park down he'ah in Everglades City, FL, rite next to a burmese pythin snake infestid swamp, an therz mo than enuff drunk'd-up redneck fools roamin' aroun' tha Floridee swamplands, in pick-up trucks plaster'd with confederit flags, causin awl kindsa trubble an mayhem as it is, withowt no Northin' (Georgia's way North on my compass)) politishun encouragin them nun. 

Also, I've heard that Newt Gingrich had sex with a dawg. 

I bin told tha when one of his many wives was dyin in hospital with tha cancer, Newt decidid to speed things up a little by tellin her he was havin sex with his secritary. But this didn't impress tha dyin woman much, as havin been marrid tuh Newt fo a spell, she was used tuh tha' kinda stuff by then. So then Newt went owt inta tha alley behind tha hospital, grab'd hold of a mangy ol' dawg he found scavagin trash cans, an' startid havin' passionit sex with it (an' un-safe anil sex at that!)), while gettin tha secritary he was also havin' sexuwal relations with, tuh take pitchurs of him anily rapin' a stray dawg with a poleeroid camera. 

Well,,, an' get this!... then he went an show'd tha dawg-sex pitchurs to his dyin wife, and tha shoor dun tha trick rite enuff - she was stone dead within abowt ten minites flat! 

Now either this is showin' that Newt Gingrich is sum kinda inventive genius (Like he keeps tellin' us awl hisself!), an' a deeply carin', compassionit an' ritechus Christian, fo findin a way tuh do a mercy killin' own his own wife, an put her owt of her terribl agonies, withowt offendin tha' rules of tha Baby-God Jeezus abowt such stuff, or it shows tha' he's a complete psychopathic maniac with a lust for dawg-sex an' who knows what utha kinds-a beastiality? I'm pritty shooah ther'z sum rules aginst tha' in tha Bible!!!

Either way, if he don' cut owt this confederit flag nonsinse, there'z no-way he's gettin Ronnie Spraggs' vote fo Preseedint, tha's fo shoo'ah!                                                                                   ------------------------------------------------------------

Now what's wrong with that?

Alessandra
Alessandra

 "Rush calls a 21-year-old woman on his show a slut, and a prostitute."

In watching this political dog and pony show, I asked myself if the liberals who are railing against Rush are against pornography or if they railed against porn producers and consumers as they are railing against Rush. The answer is obviously no.

Millions of people call women sluts and prostitutes through porn every day, and, as you know, a lot worse. On top of it, they all think that sexually degrading people (not only women) through pornography is great.

I don't see anyone with a liberal mindset complaining about it. I don't see all the liberal flookies who are speaking as if they were respectful prudes about sexuality complaining about pornography.

Why is it that when liberals call women sluts, the b-word, the c-word, and spend millions of hours fantasizing how they are going to degrade, whip, and rape them in pornography, it is all OK according to liberals? But when Rush calls a sorry, Gen Yer self-entitlement twit, a politically planted Democrat shill a slut, it is, all of a sudden, not OK?

If you call all black people niggers it's OK, but if you call one specific individual a nigger it's not OK?

Furthermore, liberals insist that promiscuity is normal, that having sex with strangers and hook-ups are desirable sexual behavior. They love to behave like sexuality pigs, but then throw a hissy fit if Rush uses a vulgar word publicly about the very behavior liberals promote everywhere.

Only liberal refuse to face how deformed their minds about about sexuality. I don't think it is possible for people who endorse and/or stay silent about the sexually deformed discourse in pornography to be more hypocritical when they criticize Rush.

After all, he only did in public what they do in private a million times a day.

Who is the greatest affront to decency?

ShivaShakti
ShivaShakti

 Alessandra honey...I am seriously doubting that you're female right now. You made a long-winded rant about something, I don't know what, that has nothing to do with the article.If you hate liberals- it's fine. Using hate seems to be how you choose to communicate your perspectives and that's your choice but please stick to the topic if you can.

Do you actually have something to say about the fact that men(and their very,very stupid women helpers) are trying to control women's birth control choices or not?

Johndoe
Johndoe

What the hell are you talking about?  

Msjoanne
Msjoanne

Allessandra, that's some amazing word salad you puked on your computer. Of course, it's not just regular word salad, it's word salad with a heavy dose of bullshit scattered throughout.

I'd seek help if I were you. Your views are downright sick.

Alan Scherstuhl
Alan Scherstuhl

"Only liberal refuse to face how deformed their minds about about

sexuality."It's like someone bought vomit a keyboard.

Tron4jc
Tron4jc

Selective outrage. The bulk of the slut slams come from the left. Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, etc., anyone?

Dittodumb
Dittodumb

Nobody's defending that slime Maher. But Rush made a focused three day attack against a private citizen based on things she didn't even come close to saying or even imply. shaming sexuality from a guy who goes whoring in the DR? At least Maher admits he likes drug and sex. Have fun defending your lying john against law school students.

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