Cops Respond to Phantom "Bar Riot" in Mission District

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Not today
The oh-so-rad Misson's got everything, even pop-up bar "riots" that disappear as quickly as they're reported.

Police responded to the corner of 16th and Albion streets -- hello, Kilowatt -- at 2 a.m. Sunday morning after callers reported a massive bar fight, Bay City News reported yesterday. The wire service even used the word "riot," perhaps mistaking the situation for what will happen when Mission Street Food runs out of confit.

Two callers to 911 reported a giant fracas, with one caller reporting "80 people," and another reporting "200," according to SFPD Officer Albie Esparza, a department spokesman. The calls came in at 1:59 a.m., a few minutes past closing time (if you're on bar-time and not real-time). By the time police arrived five minutes later at 2:04 a.m., there was nothing, Esparza told The Snitch on Monday morning.

If only high-waisted pants would fall from favor so quickly.

That several callers would report such a large fight that didn't exist is at the very least bizarre if not downright suspicious -- we've heard of inflating numbers at your release party, but this is ridiculous -- though it's not necessarily a "crank call" at this time, Epsarza said.

"It's not to say it didn't happen," he said, noting that the report from the incident merely says GOA, or "gone on arrival." He added: "We just don't know."

A patrol car was two blocks away when the call came in. No sign of the hundred-plus fighters were found: no victims, and no witnesses, Esparza said.

Other reports of a group of white males "striking people with bottles" along Valencia near 16th Street also came in, but those too came to naught, according to police.

If it did exist, it's hard to speculate how a massive brawl evaporated so quickly.

"It could be that everyone dispersed once they heard the sirens," Esparza ventured. "That is possible."

Unless, of course, Mission kids now possess superpowers. As well-bred haters, we often look down on the 35-year-olds on skateboards bumming cigarettes from us, but we gotta admit, the ability to vanish: That's what's hot.

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2 comments
Unicorn_lover_69
Unicorn_lover_69

I closed Kilowatt down and can vouch for the fact that literally, out of nowhere, a fight between at least 20 people erupted around 2 AM that included trash cans and beer bottles being thrown. I walked down Guerrero immediately to just get the F out of the area so cannot report how quickly it ended, but there was a crazy big fight!

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