Lisa Ling Looking for Bay Area Swingers -- Just Not Freaky Ones
|Too old! Too saggy! Cut!|
A producer wrote to the local swingers' club, Twist, earlier this month, looking for a couple who would be willing to speak on network television for an "honest, balanced, and thought-provoking portrait" of their alternative lifestyle.
Rather than ask the swingers to come au naturel (not in that way, people) -- the producers want a couple who fits neatly into a restrictive box. In short, this isn't Our America as much as the producers' TV-friendly conception of America -- and their casting call reads much like the pickiest of Craigslist ads.
The "ideal" couple must meet the following criteria:
- Be married or have been together for at least 10 years
- Be 43 or older
- Be middle-to-upper class
- Be suburban or urban (Because when bumpkins swing, it's called incest)
- Have active interests and hobbies, such as dancing, cycling, or surfing (Translation: obesity and sex doesn't do much for ratings)
- Been engaged in the lifestyle for at least three years
- "Average American married, loving, fun couple." (We're going to go out on a limb and say this couple doesn't exist)
Producers went on to explain how they're also open to an empty-nest couple who is
"now 'liberated' to explore and enjoy their sexuality in a new way." We can just picture it: A camera zooms in on parents confessing to their children, saying, "Once you kids left the
house, your father and I decided to try something new." That's when two
individuals dressed in gimp outfits enter the living room.
The producers hope to wrap filming by Jan. 18, capturing the couple performing regular hobbies and maybe even "going on a date to a small house party."
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