List: How Will S.F. Cope with State Spending Cuts?
|The good ol' days are gone|
- We'll have to cut back 15 percent on jokes about Ed Lee's mustache.
- Homeless people will have to put up with bupkis instead of crapola.
- The Recreation and Parks department will announce that we can no longer afford public parks, just like it does every year.
- Schools will only teach even numbers.
- Twitter will need a much larger tax break.
- The District Attorney will only prosecute hate crimes that are really sincere.
- Progressives will be 12 percent more impotent.
- Warren Hellman will buy a slightly smaller diamond-encrusted banjo.
- Some people will just have to die.
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