Sex Sells Shower Curtain

Categories: Business, Sexytime
For those unencumbered by familial obligations on Christmas Day, there's little more entertaining than venturing off into the crisp, cold San Francisco streets to peruse crap in Chinatown. And what wondrous crap there is to behold!

Selling pedestrian goods via copious presentations of sexuality is an old device. Certainly using 1980s-vintage images of tawdry women in various states of undress seems more natural for shower curtains than for, say, chewing gum. But the jarringly heavy-handed -- and heavy elsewhere, too -- use of risqué models to hawk 99-cent plastic curtains quickly grows bizarre when one thinks through the sales pitch. Is the quality of the nude Jazzercise model on the package a motivating factor when buying discount bathroom paraphernalia in Chinatown trinket palaces? Apparently so.

But wait -- these curtains aren't poisonous:

rsz_shower_curtain_01.jpg
Sure, it's tasteless. But at least it's poison-free. If they want me to shell out for poisonous shower curtains, the model is going to have to show a bit more, right?

Perhaps that's what's going on below. No mention on the noxiousness of these curtains -- but the cover model isn't leaving much to the imagination:

rsz_shower_curtain_02.jpg

In the end, your humble narrator bought no shower curtains. I did, however, obtain a pair of $5.99 house slippers, that, when paired with linoleum floors, answer the question, "What would it look like if F. Scott Fitzgerald went out for the Ice Capades?"

Why must Christmas come but once a year?

Follow us on Twitter at @SFWeekly and @TheSnitchSF 
My Voice Nation Help
4 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
LN_Smithee
LN_Smithee

I remember that sexy Juicy Fruit commercial, but the real wink-wink nudge-nudge gum commercial was for Freshen-up Gum, "The gum that goes squirt." http://youtu.be/Ww_oI85vvko

Jamesr837
Jamesr837

Great post, never looked at sex selling shower curtains.

____
____

Wow!  Really?!?  Did you know that Victoria Secret uses professional and scantily clad models to sell their wares?  And Bebe, Juicy Couture, Guess and others do so as well?  But those shower curtain rings do give me some, though possibly painful and regrettable, ideas!

smartarse UK
smartarse UK

The shower curtains are not not poisonous, the three words mean the poisons have a taste. It could also be claimed that as the poisons are not tasteless they must be chic poisons

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.
Loading...