Occupy SF: Mysterious Urinator Pisses Off Protesters
|Will someone please donate some diapers to Occupy SF?|
But while there have been no police raids and no tragic shootings connected to the San Francisco camp, Justin Herman Plaza is far from being drama-free.
You want to know what is really pissing people off over there? In the wee hours of Sunday night, someone entered the tent that serves as a kitchen for the camp and peed all over the nutritious rice and delicious pastries that had been donated.
"Emergency meeting!" several members shouted.
Never a good way to start a Monday.
It was 10:30 a.m. and many of the protesters were just stirring from slumber. A young woman named Lindsay got things started, addressing the group of mostly men, dogs, and a few cats. "We need to get our shit together. Maybe we should all go around and say our names and skills," she said, a suggestion that seemed to fall on deaf ears.
Next up was Kelly Johnson, who spearheaded the rest of the meeting. "Mic check!" she yelled into an invisible mic. "Mic check!" everyone shouted back. This call and response method has become the Occupy way of making sure that people are being heard despite not having real microphones.
"It is imperative that we have camp participation today. We have had many overnight incidents. If we don't handle our internal problems, our movement will die," Johnson said, with everyone repeating after her. She then called for a short break so the people in attendance could round up more protesters to discuss the golden shower.
When more people finally arrived, it became clear who would be on trial. A man named James, who passes his time at Occupy SF by keeping watch of the kitchen, passing out food, and even sleeping there, was now being held accountable for the late-night peeing incident. Some squatters blamed him for not being in the tent when the urinator let loose.
First, the camp's quasi-prosecutor made his case: "They actually urinated on your breakfast! James should be held accountable," he told the crowd. "Most of us are scared our movement is dying."
James, acting as his own defense, was almost moved to tears as others cheered him on in support. "I love you, James! I'd be so sad if you left," cried a female outlier.
"Has anyone, with their own eyeballs, witnessed someone pissing on the food?" another yelled.
"Mic check!" Johnson yelled, trying to gain control again.
Then, the charges against James were all but forgotten as the the entire group was admonished for passing the blame onto the one person who had been slaving in the kitchen for them.
"If you want this to be a community kitchen ... that means you work in it," said one voice of reason. Her words were greeted with "spirit fingers" from the crowd. "You have to be kidding me. People are hungry everywhere," she continued. "We're supposed to be an example of better living. You know what right and wrong is. So can we stop acting like we don't?"
Your correspondent was assured by a man named Jaiheda that the pee situation was being cleaned up as we spoke, noting that the affected areas were being doused in bleach mixed with water.
"This is probably more than a restaurant would do to clean," he said.