Occupy SF: Mysterious Urinator Pisses Off Protesters

Categories: Local News
Taylor Friedman
Will someone please donate some diapers to Occupy SF?
Despite a couple of violent brushes with police this weekend, the Occupy San Francisco movement has been relatively quiet compared to its sister camp in Oakland, which has managed to make national headlines.

But while there have been no police raids and no tragic shootings connected to the San Francisco camp, Justin Herman Plaza is far from being drama-free.

You want to know what is really pissing people off over there? In the wee hours of Sunday night, someone entered the tent that serves as a kitchen for the camp and peed all over the nutritious rice and delicious pastries that had been donated.

"Emergency meeting!" several members shouted.

Never a good way to start a Monday.

It was 10:30 a.m. and many of the protesters were just stirring from slumber. A young woman named Lindsay got things started, addressing the group of mostly men, dogs, and a few cats. "We need to get our shit together. Maybe we should all go around and say our names and skills," she said, a suggestion that seemed to fall on deaf ears.

Next up was Kelly Johnson, who spearheaded the rest of the meeting. "Mic check!" she yelled into an invisible mic. "Mic check!" everyone shouted back. This call and response method has become the Occupy way of making sure that people are being heard despite not having real microphones.

"It is imperative that we have camp participation today. We have had many overnight incidents. If we don't handle our internal problems, our movement will die," Johnson said, with everyone repeating after her. She then called for a short break so the people in attendance could round up more protesters to discuss the golden shower.

When more people finally arrived, it became clear who would be on trial. A man named James, who passes his time at Occupy SF by keeping watch of the kitchen, passing out food, and even sleeping there, was now being held accountable for the late-night peeing incident. Some squatters blamed him for not being in the tent when the urinator let loose.

First, the camp's quasi-prosecutor made his case: "They actually urinated on your breakfast! James should be held accountable," he told the crowd. "Most of us are scared our movement is dying."

James, acting as his own defense, was almost moved to tears as others cheered him on in support. "I love you, James! I'd be so sad if you left," cried a female outlier.

"Has anyone, with their own eyeballs, witnessed someone pissing on the food?" another yelled.

"Mic check!" Johnson yelled, trying to gain control again.

Then, the charges against James were all but forgotten as the the entire group was admonished for passing the blame onto the one person who had been slaving in the kitchen for them.

"If you want this to be a community kitchen ... that means you work in it," said one voice of reason. Her words were greeted with "spirit fingers" from the crowd. "You have to be kidding me. People are hungry everywhere," she continued. "We're supposed to be an example of better living. You know what right and wrong is. So can we stop acting like we don't?"

Your correspondent was assured by a man named Jaiheda that the pee situation was being cleaned up as we spoke, noting that the affected areas were being doused in bleach mixed with water.

"This is probably more than a restaurant would do to clean," he said.

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My Posting Career
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laughed my ass off at this blog

a little bleach and this urine drenched donut will be perfectly edible again


Yeah, as a person who has participated in #OccupySF marches over the weekends I will be the first to admit that I do not feel welcome in that camp.  I know it sucks, and I really wish it wasn't that way, but "friendly" is not the first word that comes to mind.  But what do I know.. most of the people on the marches are great.. I guess the camp just has that Haight Street "spanger" feel.. which is fine, but 24/7 gets old and annoying as a 24 hour Phish concert.. I know I will get a lot of flack for saying this, but the Crusties and Anarchists have been doing their thing for over a decade now, with little or no one outside of the activist community really even caring.  The reason why this movement has any credibility at all is because it has brought people who are actually not all that marginalized out into the streets.  It's brought educated, smart, employable individuals out.. albeit in defense of all the 99%.. but if you loose them.. you loose the whole damn movement.  So #OccupySF.. LIGHTEN the hell up and talk to people.. or make an effort to appoint people who are willing to talk to people and debate.. not just stare at me with a blank face as I ask questions about foreign policy and hide in your tents scowling at people as they walk by and observe.

Other then that.. the GA's and the people involved with the marches (which isn't usually the people in the camps) have been great.. but that camp is dark.

Heather Zingara Romaine
Heather Zingara Romaine

John, I agree with much of what you say, but this is a movement for everyone. You make the choice for what it means to you and your participation level. Which you already have. Perhaps people need your understanding more than your condemnation? There are many homeless at the camp, Occupy has stepped in and provided shelter and food when these people were just lost before. Maybe those people who stare at you with a blank face when you bring up foreign policy would appreciate if you share your knowledge, instead of being appalled that the marginalized may not possess this knowledge to begin with. The people hiding in their tents scowling, may have mental issues and been put on the street because there is no one to pay for their care. I'm not even going to begin to rant on the myriad issues homeless deal with on a daily basis.This movement is about all of us, I'm sorry you did not feel welcome at the official camp, but you know the actual camp isn't what is going to bring about the change needed in this country.I'm happy that you have found the marches and GAs more welcoming.

Heather Zingara Romaine
Heather Zingara Romaine

I've seen a few blog posts about Occupy SF on this site and they all seem to be obsessed with human bodily functions. I'm pretty sure that there are many more things happening at Occupy SF other than things that you are also doing in the privacy of your own home. Why don't you hang out for a committee meeting?


While I understand your point, this episode does highlight the problems that Occupy is facing internally. And do people pee on food in the privacy of their own homes? 

Heather Zingara Romaine
Heather Zingara Romaine

Ha ha... no Taylor. Well, idk, I'm sure some may. As well as I'm sure you know that was not what I was referencing.There are definitely problems that OccupySF is facing internally. You are correct. I would imagine any time there are a number of people involved in an organization, movement, etc. there are internal problems to be addressed. I have just noticed a trend in the catchy headlines is all...

Melvin Dean Baker
Melvin Dean Baker

On the Great Peace March in 1986 which walked across the country from Los Angeles to Washington, D.C. and lived in a mobile tent city (we reached DC 25 years ago today by the way) and we all had jobs to make the effort a success. 

The Occupy movement has the unfortunate downside of being static, which means you get lots of chronic homeless who have so many issues around mental health, substance use and other dramas that they have a difficult time doing the needed work. 

It's time for the Occupy movement to move indoors to a warehouse or some similar place where you can organize actions and control your surroundings without trying to feed and shelter every homeless person in the community. 

Homelessness is an issue you are demanding the government fix, not something that a low budget, all volunteer force can possibly hope to take on by itself. 

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