Five Ways We Can Make San Francisco Absolutely the Most Expensive City in America

Categories: Humor
Just like we were shocked to find out San Francisco was voted the best spot for trick or treating in the nation, we are equally surprised to learn that we are only No. 4 on the list of most expensive places to live in the United States.

But since we like to be No. 1, even if when it doesn't flatter us (like being the sluttiest city), we are determined to capture the top spot and become the most expensive place to live in the nation. Of course, it will take some effort, so we thought of a few ways that we could rapidly climb the ranks:


5. Tips for the Examiner: What's an even more thankless job than gathering the news is delivering it. Literally. We see how hard those Examiner distributors work handing out free newspapers to every person who walks by the BART station. Not to mention, it is humiliating when they are forced to dress in costume depending on the holiday. So how about tossing them a dollar anytime you grab a paper from them.  It's time to start paying for free news.

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Actually, this would not be a bad idea because we'll save quite a bit of $$$ with lower crimes, murders, arrest, welfare which would lead to less of need for medical care, policing and lawyers.

Let's go for it and make sure to bulldoze the ghettos that have failed society and the people it intended to assist which instead created a secured climate for the cancer to spread and grow strong.

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