Howard Eskin Lucks Out -- There Is a San Francisco Back East!
|Howard Eskin won't have to wander far from his fan base after all...|
Naturally, it did; it's a good thing for Eskin he didn't pledge to emphasize the inevitability of an Eagles victory by running 20 consecutive red lights or mating with an inanimate object. That said, San Francisco is a long ways from Philly unless you're driving a vehicle powered by dilithium crystals. Chagrined, Eskin queried if there's a San Francisco on the East Coast.
Lucky for Eskin -- and those who'd rather not watch a 60-year-old in spandex traverse the continent -- there is.
In fact, Eskin need not pedal out of his home state. Only a pedant wouldn't allow the bloviator to wiggle out of his pledge by biking to St. Francis University, located in Loretto, Penn., an afternoon's drive -- in a car -- from Cheesesteak City. It's even named for the same saint as San Francisco -- St. Francis of Assisi.
Assuming Eskin commences his journey from the Philadelphia Museum of Art -- yes, where Rocky ran up the stairs -- he's in for 266 miles of cycling pleasure.
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- A cruise past King of Prussia, perhaps the state's most oddly named town and the home city of the Bloodhound Gang. It's a stone-cold mortal lock you remember them, no?
- A stop in Collegeville -- an odd name for a town where the top institute of higher learning is Ursinus;
- Wonder what there is to do in Pottstown?
- Hilarious! Eskin's route actually dips south in Sinking Spring;
- He'll narrowly miss Berks County Park. Of note, "Berk" is a slang term for "idiot" across the pond in Old Blighty;
- Eskin will bike right past the famed Keller Brothers Airport. That brings up a weighty question: Who's your favorite Keller brother?
- Wonderful town names to head through: Locust Point, Mechanicsburg, Mongul, Shade Gap, Orbisonia, Shirleysburg, Hollidaysburg, and Sankertown, home of the miserable Sankers.
In any event, bon voyage to Eskin. Don't think of it as the end result of sporting chauvinism and foolishness on live radio. Think of it as a trip to Hollidaysburg.