Scientology vs. Anonymous: Spin War Over a Potential Defector

Categories: internets
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Are Anonymous protests making Scientology's recruits skyrocket?
There's more intrigue surrounding the debate over who won the latest battle in the three-year war between San Francisco's Church of Scientology and Anonymous - the Internet-born movement of masked protesters outside the Columbus Street church who warn people it's a money-hungry cult.

Anonymous has been toasting "ethicstrouble," a purported Scientologist who wrote on a local Anonymous message board that the group's protests convinced him or her that "something is really wrong" with the church, and that he or she now wants to leave. Meanwhile, Jeff Quiros, the president of the San Francisco church, said in our story yesterday he believes Anonymous itself is behind the defector.

Wait, it gets better. Quiros' theory continues: Anonymous was shamed by a graph (in the picture above) that a Scientologist showed the protesters last week indicating the number of visitors coming in off the street was skyrocketing. So, he says, Anonymous had to fight back by creating an apostate. 

Obviously, there's no verifying the amount of people the church claims are coming in its door. There's also no verifying that the defector isn't just an Anonymous member. So we're left with a spin war highlighting the hilarious culture clash between oh-so-serious Scientologists and irreverent Anons. It's sort of the equivalent of righteous Christ Boy taking on the video gamer playing Magic in your lunchroom.

First check out the following video posted on anonymoog's YouTube channel.


To sum up,  Jerry, a Scientologist, comes out in his mustache, suit and tie and puts his hands on his hips looking at the protesters dancing like fools on the corner. He calls them over to look at a graph on a piece of paper that he claims shows the number of people coming into the church since Anonymous has been protesting is flying off the charts. The tone from both parties is shrouded in a heavy dose of sarcasm.
 
Jerry: "You oughta get pictures of this, look at this graph! That's the number of people who've come in since you guys have been protesting. So I need you guys to be out here more often."

Moog: "So what's the bottom line?"

Jerry: "This is the number of people that are coming into the organization." [He follows the upward-trending line with his finger.]

Moog: "That's cool, because you're the only org [Scientology church] that's expanding."

Jerry: "I know, it's amazing. So you guys need to be out here more!"

Moog posted the video, with a caption drenched in faux enthusiasm: "San Francisco Scientology Jerry OTVIII brings out a fancy graph showing how Anonymous protesting has actually helped Scientology increase business!! Looks totally legit!!"

Well, Quiros says Moog's incredulous reaction to the graph made Anonymous have to eat crow and create the fake defector. "It looks to me like an attempt to cover over the booboo made by Anonymoog, saying that these statistics look correct and congratulating [Jerry] on the expansion."

Anonymous thinks it's the Scientologists that are lying about their numbers increasing. "They've been saying that for the last three years as part of their party line," says one protester. He said Anonymous members think it's "pathetic" that the Scientologists would go to such lengths to try to dispirit them. "That was really surprising, like why are they sending out this high-powered guy? ... Like is it that bad that you have to do this?"

Moog tells SF Weekly they will continue to protest with their quirky tactics. "I'm doing this for them, though they absolutely can't see that. In 'The Yellow Submarine' from 1969, the heroes not only neutralize the bullies, but win them over through music and dance and love. It's 'Yellow Submarine' tech!"

The war continues.

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41 comments
V for Vacation
V for Vacation

Well done, SF!  Please keep following this story, Smiley!

Happy Pants
Happy Pants

What a waste of time. Maybe Jerry and moob should go get real jobs and try contributing to society instead of whoring from it. We're finished.

Evandalism
Evandalism

Oh noz it was just becoming FUN.

Vahjayjay
Vahjayjay

silly wabbit -- *moob* DOES have a job! in fact, he has more than one -- according to Jerry, he (moog) works for Pfiizer, as a paid protestor representing *big pharma*

Singe
Singe

South Bay Stat Crashers reprazent

Jimmy Sf
Jimmy Sf

  As scientology has a history and reputation of truth-telling, it is easy to see where the bullshit lies. Oh wait...

Decent_American
Decent_American

Scientology, the new Mormons.  Mormons, the new Christians. Christians, the new Muslims. You get the drift

Ab Eeyore
Ab Eeyore

 Christians, the new MuslimsContinuity error.  Islam was an offshoot of Christianity, not the other way around.  Mohammad recognized Christ as another prophet, just not as the Messiah. 

Perhaps you meant Chrsitianity, the new Mithrasians?

Singe
Singe

 How about the new Zoroastrians?

Banchukita
Banchukita

I've been watching Scientology self-destruct since the mid-90s.  In all that time, I've observed literally hundreds of people leave the organization's grip after allowing themselves to become informed.  However, I've never, ever seen anyone announce that, after looking at both sides, they decided to abandon criticism and join the cult.

Will-o-the-wisp
Will-o-the-wisp

What Jerry should have created was a Bar Graph, rather then fudge some data that reads (if I some what understand) That CoS gained 2 members one day, lost 3 the next, gained 2 the next day, and then lost 5, and so on... and if you notice on the far end of the graph, CoS gains (20) the losses (20) and then gains (20) again. Little David Miscarriage the Runt must be pretty proud of Jerry's hard work. No Musical Chairs for Jerry!

Alice Kramden
Alice Kramden

I love me some SFAnons. Relentless and doinit right.

robert
robert

I thnk you mean Dauntless, Defiant and Resolute, don't you?  FIFY.

Will-o-the-wisp
Will-o-the-wisp

That has to be about the lamest graph I've ever seen. Part of what my company does is visual display of information, and I would love for Jerry to explain how that graph works. looks more like an investment chart, or what a Electric Utility uses to track Kilowatts troughout a day.

Sheriff Buford T. Justice
Sheriff Buford T. Justice

the cult has been saying this all along since day one, it is all they have is more lies, and no cake.

But if you want a real story check out "angry gay pope twin peaks" video on YouTube and see just how much propane they are hiding/hoarding.

See them run and hide like roaches when a light is shone upon them. This is some bizarre actions by a church.

Why would a church need a massive amount of propane?

Why would a church hide propane?

Why would a church hoard propane?

How many pounds of explosives does scientology have for their gold mine in AZ?

Considering the church has already used loudspeakers to damage the ears of the young protesters, I would not put it past them to use propane on the kids as well. Playing loud noise to drive out insurgents is what military's do, not a church. This was a deliberate act of domestic terrorism played out on our soil.

This is very serious, this will most likely end like Waco with a shoot-out between scientology and the police. Take the propane very seriously and call the Department of Homeland Security and report the propane/explosives/hiding/hoarding/suspicious activity.

RazorSheldon
RazorSheldon

Chart looks legit to me. You can't fake science

SFF
SFF

Science tends to label its axes. :)

MrEricSir
MrEricSir

The one and only thing that chart proves is that Jerry knows how to use Excel.

tampadude
tampadude

Jerry is a good guy. In fact one of the better guys you will ever meet but he's not looking. If he looked he'd see that, for example, since DM came to power female Sea Org member's are not allowed to have children and remain in the Sea Org. So hundreds if not thousands of female Sea Org members have been pressured into having abortions. Jerry's own daughter is in the Sea Org. The sad part is that if his own daughter had an abortion Jerry likely wouldn't even know. Come on Jerry: Look!!! How many of those Div 6 "Bodies In The Shop" (BIS) are existing public on the "Basics"? How many public have been trained through at least Cl IV since you became an Ideal Org? How much sleep do you lose figuring out how to pay the bills DM saddled you with by making you buy a building you can't afford? And now you're suppose to buy another building? Jerry, it's insanity! 

robert
robert

Jerry,We invite you to blow too.  There will be cake, delicious and moist, for you as well!

SFNative
SFNative

Both Anonymous and Scientology are wacky weird cults that are dangerous and not to be trusted.

Old OT7
Old OT7

Well, you're at least half right.  Scientology is indeed a dangerous and criminal cult.  Anonymous it a group that is exposing their crimes and not a cult.  

Vahjayjay
Vahjayjay

please post moar! lulzymus maximus

robert
robert

Anonymous is not a cult.  It doesn't brainwash you, lock you up for years in a re-education camp, use you for slave labor, and force you to have abortions.  It doesn't make you disconnect from your family and hand over all your money.

Don't sling the word around lightly.

enthaeon
enthaeon

lololololololol

let me see your cult status checklist, plox.

SFF
SFF

Who is asking to be trusted? Anonymous protesters of Scientology encourage people to look for information themselves.

Comic Book Fan
Comic Book Fan

The Scientologists, are trained to lie (it's called TR-L). I was taught three euphemisms for lying-- telling a shore story, gradient truth, or acceptable truth. But let's say that this statistical change isn't just part of good old Keep Scientology Working and that it has some basis in fact. How many years has Anonymous been protesting? How many cities are they protesting in? It would make sense that the statistical trend would show an anomaly somewhere for some period.  Hooray for Anonymous. Boo for Scientology. Scientology you suck.

MarkStark
MarkStark

This is reverse Dianetics! In Dianetics you remove the engrams and body thetan clusters, from this life and past lives, including when Xenu blasted the space alien souls out of volcanoes onto people 75 millions years ago. (OTIII)

Here we see this loyal Thetan, Jeff Quiros, trying to plant body thetan clusters (I know it looks like a dot chart) on dancing Anons. It is all a plan to get the Anons into the Org instead of outside it, and paying up on their bridge to total Xenu.

Don't do it. Dianetics makes you fat!

enthaeon
enthaeon

If he says Anonymous should be out protesting MOAR, why are they so BUTTHURT when we do??

FLUNK
FLUNK

CONDITION: CONFUSION

Old OT7
Old OT7

Condition:  Confusion AND Stupidity 

SFF
SFF

The notion that you have done something to cause a PR flap and there have to take corrective action by doing something to "deliver a decisive blow to the enemy" is pure Scientology thinking. The idea that Anonymous would follow Scientology processes is hilarious.

Also, the inability to recognize sarcasm shows that the Church of Scientology really has no defense against humor.

DuckBenway
DuckBenway

$cientology is doomed!

Expect It!

Old OT7
Old OT7

Hey, Duck!  Have we been "handled" yet???

skeptic2girl
skeptic2girl

well-said, SFF! we are hoping to add jerry's lulzy comments to our cult-dancing soundtrack! Scientologists have a habit of calling the police every time we protest: I say that if we have an OTVIII telling us to "be out here more," it's practically a sign from God.  WIN for moog, Anonymous, peaceful protestors everywhere, and for ethicstrouble.  Can't wait to bake you a Welcome Celebration Caek! <3<3<3 s2g

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