Muni Masturbation Grinds On

krossbow via Flickr
It's taking over Muni
Will the whacking off ever stop? 

In recent weeks, the usually sex-positive SF Weekly has taken a rather puritanical stance on public masturbation, at least when the self-pleasuring comes on Muni (pun intended, very much intended). We wrote a screed against this behavior a few weeks back after your narrator was subject to such nastiness on the bus we now refer to as the 8-XXX. We even made SFMTA spokesman Paul Rose dig through the 311 reports to see how often riders are seen getting hot and bothered en route. 

And now, we are here to report yet another unsavory pleasure seeker on Muni. Last Monday at 7:45 p.m., a woman witnessed a real wanker on the 38-Geary bus.

Here's how police summed up the activity.
As she was seated the suspect walked from the rear of the bus and stood near her. The suspect had his jacket draped over the front of him, and upon moving his jacket exposed himself to her and began to masturbate. The victim immediately moved to the rear of the bus and exited the next stop. The suspect also got off," (we're guessing the pun was not intended there) "and the victim went into a nearby restaurant, but the suspect did not follow her further. The victim went into the police station to report the incident.
Good for you, sister, for telling the cops!

As we know personally, the first impulse is to flee the bus and write about it on a local blog.  But what's even more effective, Rose told us, is to just tell the driver. They will surreptitiously alert authorities of this Muni activity, which, we can safely say, brings other riders no pleasure.

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Harvey King
Harvey King

As much as I enjoy the great sport of jacking off there is a time to whip it out and a time to keep it zipped. While riding Muni or BART or anywhere else in public is a time to keep it zipped in my most ancient but humble opinion. If you horny lads feel the need to beat your meat in front of somebody why don't you just go on chatroulette or omegle. You may have to go through 1000 strangers (even more if you're looking for a female!) before you find a willing partner who wants to see you flog your mule but please don't offend the rest of us on Muni which is generally a terrifying experience even without an erect penis in your face. Thank you so much you weenie wavers!

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