What Is James Franco Having Sex With?

Categories: Media, Sexytime
James Franco Small.jpg
James Franco, newsmaker
Boy are we glad we read the paper today! In Thursday's Examiner newsmakers section, enigmatic James Franco is revealed as having produced subpar amateur porn in his younger days -- a bad decision that preceded his bad decision to host the Oscars in a glazed monotone.

Considering the story was about porn and James Franco, it's unfortunate that it ended the way it did -- or rather did not. The last line of the blurb is as follows:

But now Franco wants to show the rest of the world how difficult it is to make sex on tape sexy ... he's making a documentary with a certain San Francisco

Really, that's how it ends -- this article fails to climax. Thus the question is prompted: Franco is making a sex documentary with a San Francisco what? Here's what we'd pay to see:


"A certain San Francisco bridge."

Well, this would certainly be a more jolly documentary than the last one


"A certain San Francisco treat."

Just like the package says -- "90 seconds in the pouch." Sexy.  

Oily bus.jpg
Jim Herd

"A certain San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency."

Wouldn't be the worst thing we saw on the bus. Step down!

Giant burrito.jpg
Jonathan Kauffman

"A certain San Francisco burrito."

In San Diego, where burritos have neither beans nor rice, this could be dangerous. Less so here.  

Finally, the answer: Franco is all but certainly leaving the on-screen coitus to the professionals and directing a documentary about a yet-unnamed San Francisco porn company (though it's all but certainly Kink.com)

Hopefully he manages to emerge from his glazed monotone.

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You've never been to San Diego of you think our burritos have no beans or rice. They're closer to the border and closer to the real thing than sf.

in ground pools
in ground pools

Fantastic web site. A lot of helpful information here. I¡¦m sending it to some buddies ans also sharing in delicious. And of course, thanks on your effort! 


Time was when colleagues or ex-colleagues from same-market publications could be civil -- probably the same time that newspapers hired people to proofread their own publications, not others. It's a brave (or maybe not-so-brave) new world now.

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