Does Your Woman Have Bad PMS? Tell Her to Smoke Some Weed

Let's roll you a joint, madam

​Recently, we wrote about a study which claimed that a majority of medical marijuana users in California are probably white men. Not included in the study was how many of those men were acquiring marijuana to placate their wife or girlfriend to cure myriad "women's issues."

In fact, many women come to Tehama Street-based Greenway Medical Marijuana Physician Evaluations "seeking help with ailments that only or primarily affect women. That includes eating disorders, menstrual cramps, premenstrual syndrome (PMS), mood swings, and menopause," according to the clinic.

So forget the deep-dicking method, gents: If your woman is pissy, just get her high.

In other words: it's OG Kush or sleeping on the couch.

Like other painkillers, cannabis does relieve "lower back pain associated with PMS," one occasional woman toker told us. "It eases cramps, and lessens the desire to kill men," she added. "For me, anyhow."

So there's that.

The miracle plant's beneficial value for the deadlier sex isn't exactly new: One of the oldest medical cannabis patient collectives in the country can attest to the benefit marijuana has on women, which is why it's called the Santa Cruz Wo/Men's Alliance for Medical Marijuana (WAMM). And some of the medical pot movement's luminaries have been women. Angel Raich, centerpiece of the landmark U.S. Supreme Court case; Drug War casualty Mollie Fry; and San Francisco's own Michelle Aldrich, recipient of a High Times Lifetime Achievement Award for 40 years of activism.

It's unclear how many medical marijuana patients are women, but judging by our own visits to dispensaries throughout the Bay Area -- both medical and adult use -- we feel it's safe to say most are men. That's our purely nonscientific corroboration of UC-Santa Cruz sociology professor Craig Reinarman's study, in which he observed that nearly 75 percent of the 1,746 new medical cannabis patients receiving doctor's recommendations over a four-month period in 2006 were men, most of them white.

Nobody knows why, although Reinarman offers a few theories. One is a delicate women's issue, and one peculiar to female cannabis patients: motherhood. Again, on an anecdotal basis -- and referred to in Reinarman's study -- we have heard of multiple female cannabis patients whose pot habits have resulted in the state taking their kids away. Drug use is a term bandied about in child welfare as well as custody cases, and in the eyes of the law, there is sometimes no difference between medical cannabis and methamphetamine.

Though to wit, we've never placated our woman with meth.

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