Great Moments in Craigslist: Southern Guy Is So Amped to Be Your Roommate
|Excited Southern boy wants to live with you|
Do you have a spare bedroom and enjoy unbridled enthusiasm? Do you love every iteration of the word "fuck"? We may have the guy for you.
Here is a Craigslist ad you won't want to miss -- even if you aren't looking for someone to move in. The zealous ad -- which we've seen passed around on Twitter and Reddit -- comes from a very, very excited young man from Alabama who promises he'll be the "most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived."
Here are some of his selling points:
A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I'm just like, "Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it's not mine."
I also read a lot. I fucking LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that shit. I read Tuesday's with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. Fucking smart.
Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James Fucking Taylor. AWWWWWW SHIT YEA!
Email me! I'll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your fucking mind with awesomeness, then hit me up.
The whole thing reads a lot like the Extreme Advertising meme that was so popular a few years back, but hey, we'd rather live with someone who likes beef jerky and has karate trophies than someone who doesn't do the dishes. However, we're betting that any welcoming roommate just might end up breaking this dude's guitar after a month.
Here's the full CL ad, in case this young go-getter gets snapped up by some housemates and takes the ad down.