Why Bert and Ernie Should Get Gay Married

Categories: LGBT
It's about time someone pushed gay marriage on television's gayest couple -- Bert and Ernie. Even if you are a gay-hating, Christian-loving Republican, it's hard not to get a warm and fuzzy feeling when you see the "roommates" together on television.

But those two have been stuffed away in the closet for too long -- and people are ready for them to come out. Change.org has started a petition, asking PBS to allow the popular Sesame Street pals to call it like it is and get gay married.

So far 700 people -- and counting --  have signed onto the petition. And for those who still have their doubts that the homosexual puppets should get married, we offer our reasons to consider also scrawling your name in favor of this union.

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5. The "W" Club: Bert has that freaky fetish with the letter "W" -- he's even the president of the National Association of W Lovers -- a group of Muppets who just can't get enough of the letter. And we can safely conclude that the word "wedding" wouldn't be the same without a "W."


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4. Bert can dump his make-believe girlfriend: Every closeted gay couple knows the best way to beat back suspicion is to publicly announce one, or both of you, have partnered up with the opposite sex. Bert has fooled kids for decades, using a nameless woman as his beard. He even wrote a song about her titled "I want to hold your ear." Although it's not that convincing -- if Bert is really having sex with this woman, wouldn't he want to hold so many other things besides her ear?

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3. Ernie's rubber duckie will no longer be a euphemism: We all know how much Ernie likes his tubby time, and it's even better with his "special friend," rubber duckie. But c'mon: How much time do you think Ernie really spends squeezing and fondling that damn duck? That's only what they show on TV. If PBS would just allow Ernie to marry Bert, then we could finally watch them have tubby time together.

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2. They're clearly in Love: While PBS and other self-loathing people everywhere will claim that these two grown men have a platonic relationship, we're not buying this crap that they are just roommates. I mean how many male "roommates" have a photo like the one above hanging in their shared space?

And finally...
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18 comments
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Common_Sense92
Common_Sense92

Push gay marriage on a kids show? Why in the heck would people even care so much about "PUPPETS" having gay marriage? First of all I don't think a straight person would complain about something as stupid as this, you don't see straight people complaining about a male and female puppet on a kids show to get married. The points they make to allow Ernie and Bert to get married aren't even really good points they are more like opinions. I mean come on, one of them singing a song about wanting to touch his imaginary girlfriends ear, and you guys are saying its not convincing because he isn't singing about touching her other parts....Is that really appropriate for a toddler to listen to? They are trying to make gay marriage seem normal to society and kids when really its against human anatomy and will just confuse kids. Kids this young don't even need to be talked to about sex yet, they are to young and underdeveloped to even know about and be involved in sexual activity...Whats next pedophilia being okay? Probably. Its just completely idiotic for people to be signing a petition for this, they are "PUPPETS" and its a "KIDS SHOW". I think a little kid learning about gay marriage is way different then a little kid learning the alphabet. Its irrelevant and won't help prepare them for school or basic knowledge at all that they will need when growing up and learning to be successful. I don't know how much more I could dumb it down for people to understand that this decision would be wrong.

Erikasmilez
Erikasmilez

I'm not against homosexuals, but I disagree with the idea. Having Ernie and Bert marry will with a doubt confuse children because how many of then do you think are thinking about they're sexuality. According to children.. They're just friends. This is a childrens show. How many 5 year olds do you think are thinking about sex ?Anyway.. The Point of Ernie & Bert is to show how two completely different people can still be friends. Ain't about sexuality.

Gameone77
Gameone77

Those puppets have no sexual orientation,y are u soooo caught up in getting these puppets married will my daughter understand at 2?no,it's fr the satisfaction of the perverted adult,they are not getting married I would never let my kids watch sesame street again,oh and don't get it twisted I'm not a homophobic individua,I live in sf,got gay family,I just think that's a kid show n should not ave any discussion. About Bert n Ernie getting married...they're PUPPETS!!

Janne
Janne

Bert and Ernie are original outliers, living outside society's boxes and tropes. Children need more models like them, people who just are, who don't ever even think to put themselves in prescribed containers, but rather invite others to enjoy who they are and how they live - or change the channel.

Lindzex
Lindzex

Oh ya, and one more thing Mr. Sherbert..... The letter W? Really?.............Really? That's quite a stretch...too bad it wasnt the letter P......for penis, or pervert! I was really trying to figure out the importance of your article, but after reading your take on the rubber ducky, it is straight up people like you who reinforce non-acceptance mentality for gay marriage. I think you just set yourself back a bit after an article like this.....but hey, at least your friends will like it right? Guess thats really all that matters here....... so I did figure it out! :0)

Lindzex
Lindzex

Do Kermit and Miss Piggy pork behind stage? No. Do BigBird and Snuffy play "hide the snout" in the alley? No. Does the deaflady work in a brothel down the street from Sesame Street? No! So why do Burtand Ernie need to get married, or take a bath together? You may think your article is cute andfunny, but it is very hurtful to some. My mother is gay, and I have no problemwith being gay or gay marriage, so let me just state that before you think thisis some "log cabin" living Republican ranting and raving. I'm anormal everyday working woman who is getting a degree in child development,because I love children and try to stand up for what is right and best forthem. Burt and Ernie are amongst many characters in a CHILDRENS program. Youthink that you would be simplifying the concept of gay marriage for children byhaving Burt and Ernie be wedded. Really what you are trying to do is changethings in the world so that you feel more accepted in it, or so that morepeople will believe in what you believe in. Things are ever changing, but thisis a show that began in the early 70's when a very talented man named JimHanson created a fun and funny CHILDREN'S show, geared toward learning andenhancing development for CHILDREN. If Jim Henson thought that sexual contentor gay marriage was important for his small viewers, then he would have alreadyincluded it. Jim Henson was into friendship and learning. Not boy on boy tub time orgay marriage. Keep fighting for your right ,but leave CHILDEN out of themix......I promises you, they DONT care about marriage or adult relationships on any level!

Robert Lynch
Robert Lynch

Apparently fags also watched the number 23 and believed all that BS. They should not teach my straight children that gay marriage is ok. All you gays want is attention. You all walk around as flaming as can be so you are noticed. Also, prop 8, it was voted on and no one wants that to be legal. Marriage is the joining of a man and a woman, so that they may create life. 

Gameone77
Gameone77

How do u know ur kids not going to be like "hey pop check this out,I've been trying to holler at u aboutbsomething....I'm a fucking faggot,u still love me pop"?

Lindzex
Lindzex

lol you never know.......

supertamsf
supertamsf

"my straight children" - How do you know your kids are straight? 

"no one wants that to be legal."- Actually in 2008, 48% wanted it to be legal. Today, most polls indicate a majority approval.

"Marriage is the joining of a man and a woman, so that they may create life." - (Yawn) Don't make us run through the list of obvious rebuttals to that old, tired argument. We need our energy to be as flaming as can be.

Summary: You don't want your children being taught gay marriage is ok. But gay marriage IS ok.In fact, it's great. You are entitled to rant to your children your bigoted views, but odds are, as with each younger generation, they'll have no problem with gay marriage and reject your homophobia.

Lifeis
Lifeis

Please No Thank you

Veeshir
Veeshir

Why force Ernie to marry that evil puppet? Bert's been seen palling around with all the most evil people in the world.

Battered puppets are just the saddest thing ever. Once kids get a view of torn threads and protruding stuffing, Ernie wearing dark glasses, long sleeved shirts, and duct tape… the “teachable moment” will have really arrived. And everyone will ask why this had been allowed to go on so long. 

Embassycommon
Embassycommon

Why are we so concerned with teaching children about sex?  

mrf
mrf

Any three year old within 50 feet of a television or a supermarket checkout line learned about marriage this spring thanks to the royal wedding.

Marriage doesn't have anything to do with sex in children's minds, but they definitely know what marriage is. Teaching them that its not just princes and princesses getting married wouldn't hurt.

Gameone77
Gameone77

I got a three yo she never asked about the royal wedding,she watches kids shows not what's on regular t.v.we as parents do monitor what our kids watch.are u a parent?

RAlice
RAlice

Seriously? Marriage is not (just) about sex. When I tell someone I am married it is not the same as announcing that I have intercourse with my partner. Marriage is about making someone that I love part of my family. I would say that adult shared bath time would be inappropriate for SS, but take that suggestion in the humorous light within this article was written.

Rev. Rob
Rev. Rob

I am all for gay rights, but I am sick of hearing that Bert and Ernie are gay. They're friends. It's possible to have a friend without wanting to have sex with them. POLL: Should Bert and Ernie get married on 'Sesame Street'?Vote: http://www.wepolls.com/p/16614...

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