Schwarzenegger Love Child One-Liners

Who's your daddy?

​The revelation that our erstwhile governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, fathered a love child came as a shock. But not a surprise. After all, this is the man who, describing the joys of pumping iron, told a documentary film crew the following:

It's as satisfying to me as, uh, coming is, you know? As, ah, having sex with a woman and coming. And so can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like, uh, getting the feeling of coming in a gym, I'm getting the feeling of coming at home, I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up, when I pose in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling, so I am coming day and night. I mean, it's terrific. Right? So you know, I am in heaven.

What's surprising is that there aren't a legion of little gap-toothed, muscle-bound half-Austrians running around California. Or are there? In any event, culling from Schwarzenegger's cinematic masterworks, here is what he may have said as he fathered his love child:

• "Come with me if you want to live."

• "Get your ass to Mars!"

• "It's not a tumor!"

• "If it bleeds, we can kill it."

• ​"You killed my mother! You killed my father! You killed my people! You took my father's sword!"

• "I'm not a mercenary. Nobody pays me. And if I feel someone one owes me, I take it."

• "Oh, I feel the baby, the baby! ... Oh shit!"

• "I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last."

• "Keep it. I'm not sentimental."

• And, of course, "Hasta la vista, baby."

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