Harold Camping Sucks at Math

Categories: Celebrities
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stupidity squared
The only world that came to an end on Saturday was Harold Camping's, the notorious evangelical Oakland preacher who riled up the religious community with his awesome premonition that the world would end on May 21, 2011.

But that day came and went, with not even so much as a rumble of the Earth (not that I felt anyway). It left Camping with all the natural feelings you should have when the world doesn't end as expected -- denial, fear, rage, and definitely guilt. And while we were all just -- ahem -- praying that Camping would move on with his life so we could, too, the 89-year-old preacher came out Monday night to tell us that the world is still coming to an end -- he was just off by five months.

At this juncture, the only thing we can conclude is that Camping seriously sucks at math.

Need we remind you that this is the man's third go at predicting the apocalypse? On Sept. 6, 1994, Camping told his followers of Family Radio that Jesus would rescue them from the fire-burning Earth and bring them to heaven -- he even wrote a book about it, titled 1994. They gathered around the Alameda Veterans Memorial building dressed in their Sunday best, holding Bibles toward the sky. And they waited. And waited.

But when that Rapture turned out to be a massive failure, Camping immediately blamed it on his faulty calculations.

It's worth mentioning now that Camping received a civil engineering degree from UC Berkeley. But that degree apparently hasn't done jack for the Bible thumper's career in predicting Raptures. Camping has been studying the Book of Genesis for more than 70 years and he claims he's developed a mathematical system that has helped him interpret prophecies within it, namely when the world will end.

Here is how he arrived at his most recent Rapture crackup: "If we substitute 1,000 years for each of the seven days, 2011 is exactly 7,000 years from the Flood," Camping told SF Weekly earlier this month. He then decided that the number 17 represents heaven, the number five represents atonement, and 10 is completeness. After a little number crunching that had theologists confused, he arrived at May 21, 2011, as Judgment Day.

Whoops.

He meant October 21, 2011.

So keep the impending-doom party going, people. God only knows how many more Rapture rounds we have to go.
 
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Steve Dallman
Steve Dallman

The Bible is clear. We are not to listen to false prophets, and Harold Camping has proven himself to be a false prophet. A false prophet does not get to make excuses, and try again. He is to be shunned and forgotten, left alone to face his God. 

This is not a joking matter. This is serious...eternally serious, and the followers of this false prophet had better "work out their salvation, in fear and trembling" and run from this fake "man of God." 

Cwillis10
Cwillis10

I listen to Mr. Camping's call-in.  What has really saddened me is the lack of remorse on Mr. Camping's part.  Trusting believers even euthanized their pets.  I love the music on KEAR and am edified by many of the programs. 

Enrique Rodriguez
Enrique Rodriguez

yes, no remorse on his errors, when before 5/21, he didn't even let a person talk if they disagreed on 5/21. now it's 'spiritual'', just like 1994 was a spiritual movement of God, that only Camping knows about. in my little peanut mind. i think he mad e huge mistake, when he started spouting that from 5/21/11 to 10/21/11 no salvation. "Get thee behind me Satan" The CEO of Family Radio has quieted the proud.

Aaron Carey
Aaron Carey

It's not that the Bible was proven wrong- only Harold Camping was!  Christ will come back and all will stand before him, small and great. Harold Camping does not know when that will be and has no business giving dates.  Nevertheless Jesus is the King of Kings andLord of Lords who at some point WILL take his power to himself and reign over the world (Revelation 11:15-18).  His rule is characterized by love of righteousness and hatred of iniquity (Hebrews 1:8-9).  But many who read this love something he calls evil and/or hate something he calls good.  The conscience and the word of God bear witness to that truth.  Now there is still a chance to change your mind, turn from your sin to follow Jesus on the narrow way that leads to life, and find mercy.  Who will be honest and say that they would not be ready if Jesus did come back?  Who will be wise and do something about it and prepare for eternity?  There will be no mercy at the judgment- but now you can end your rebellion and call on the Lord Jesus to save you.  To hold back and wait for another day is to refuse his salvation. Get ready now while you still can!"Unto you first God, having raised up his Son Jesus, sent him to bless you, in turning away every one of you from his iniquities." (Acts 3:26); "Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness" (1 Peter 2:24a); "Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon." (Isaiah 55:6-7); "It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment" (Hebrews 9:27)

Tiellet
Tiellet

Revelation isn't a vision of the future, but a writer vision about his present. He was trying to avoid censorship.

Oaklander
Oaklander

@jericho morton.  is it me or does Jericho Morton writings scream of mental illness.  Why are you typing out out such bile about pedophiles and sucking the bloody wounds of minor.  That is sicker than telling people the world is going to end.  

davee44
davee44

 HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR THIS OLD FOOL

1.He said all in Churches are ruled by the Devil 2.Millions of Babies would die on May213. He was “the” Bible expert and Priest,Ministers,and all others were evil4.He said the deaths would be beautiful on Judgment day

THE FCC MUST REMOVE HIS STATION FROM THE AIR

SEE HOW HE TOOK $$$38 MILLION IN 1 YEAR FROM HIS FOLLOWERS! SEE HERE http://haroldcamping-21.blogsp...

Jericho Morton
Jericho Morton

Oh Erin, your gushing worry about these mental midgets is repulsive.  Camping certainly pitched a tent, in it an enormous tit oozing a white noise, eagerly supped by the intellectually dispossessed. One woman slit the throats of her two daughters and her own.  None of them died, the knife was too sharp?  The reason they didn't is because she is a liar, a mentally handicapped liar. The whole of it is rancid bullshit presented as a really strong feeling.  That is the same feeling that makes their leaders happily mutilate the genitals of their children (and allow professional paedophiles 'heal' the wounds by sucking up the blood), create wish thinking lies called an economy, trust in slaughtering leaders and wait for a magic solution.  I despise them completely.  I will never think it nice that you believe that shit, I think you are mental and need to be expelled from the reality you have created. Let's lock them up in their filthy belief pits and send them to their fantasy.  None will come back to say they didn't get there, it's not a fucking happy bus to nirvana.

thee1
thee1

word

Oaklander
Oaklander

jericho. you need to need to find some comfort and companionship some place.  Peace brother.

Alan Scherstuhl
Alan Scherstuhl

Wait, why did they wear their Sunday best in '94? Aren't the clothes supposed to get left behind anyway?

oranckay
oranckay

I was at his event yesterday. While I do suspect he has overdosed on his own grandiosity, he had in fact always talked about both dates, May 21 and Oct. 21, the latter as the day everything ends. The only change is that physical rapture isn't happening on May 21. He isn't changing dates, he's changing his interpretation of their significance. IMHO when someone is talking utter nonsense, there's no reason to make him look crazier than he really is. 

MrEricSir
MrEricSir

Chicken Little has been reincarnated.

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