Five More Ways for Racist Idiots to Question President Obama's Legitimacy

Categories: Politics, WTF?
obama-alien.jpg
'Twas a sad day in Birtherville yesterday, as President Barack Obama's abrupt decision to indulge clinically paranoid requests for his extended birth certificate resulted in the nonrevelation that our commander-in-chief is, in fact, an American citizen. Racist idiots will now have to find something else to harp about. Their jester-king, Donald Trump, has nimbly pivoted to scrutiny of Obama's academic record.

We think this shows a lack of imagination. Obama is plainly a smart, smart man, and attacking his intellectual credentials doesn't seem to bode for success. But don't lose hope, birthers! You are persecuted, but not forsaken; you are cast down, but not destroyed. In the tradition of media goading of the deranged masses, the Snitch has a few suggestions for other profitable ways to impugn our president's legitimacy. Read after the jump.

1. Ask Obama to prove he is not the Antichrist. Sarah Palin famously said the question of Obama's birthplace is "fair game." So can anyone begrudge an average American his desire for a wholly legitimate inquiry into whether Obama is the Son of the Beast? (And no, Orange County Republicans, we're not talking about chimpanzees.) As the New York Times ominously noted in an editorial, Obama's extended birth certificate was signed by his mother and two witnesses -- but not his father. We're just saying.

2. Demand the president release his Hawaiian learner's permit. Did Obama obtain a learner's permit prior to receiving his driver's license? If not, why not? Was he driving illegally in the presence of his (apparent) mother? Was he not like other American teenagers, who can't wait to get behind the wheel? Does he secretly hate the American auto industry? All these questions could be put to rest if the president took the simple step of releasing his learner's permit. If the Donald won't force the issue, we will.

3. Double check that Obama is truly not the Antichrist. This question is an important one, so it's worth circling back to. How can our country grapple with the serious issues it faces without full confidence that our president is not the harbinger of 1,000 years of darkness? Sorry, Barry: A birth certificate, even an extended birth certificate, won't do the job this time. We demand a signed affidavit from Pope Benedict XVI averring that Obama is one of the sons of men.

4. Ascertain that Obama is not an extraterrestrial who built the pyramids.
Ancient peoples spoke of mysterious fires in the sky. The engineering savvy on display in the construction of Egypt's 4,000-year-old pyramids at Giza was clearly beyond the ken of the pharaohs, leading some perspicacious souls to speculate that they were built by visitors from the stars. Was Obama one of them? We're not saying he is -- for the time being, we will take him at his word that he is a member of the human race born in 1961 -- but this question could easily be settled by a good-faith effort on the part of the president to demonstrate that he does not possess the technology for long-range interstellar travel.

5. Okay, we're sorry to keep coming back to the Antichrist thing, but it is just really bugging us. Upon reflection, the pope's seal of approval might not suffice. This is, after all, the same pope who gave his seal of approval to a German pedophile. What way is there for average, hard-working Americans to assure themselves that their president is not an an alien son of Satan with a murky adolescent driving record? This is fair game, people! The future of our country is at stake, and is in the hands of a tall and charming man with darker skin than the 43 presidents who preceded him! Today you're afraid to ask the tough questions. Don't complain tomorrow when the pyramids are built in your backyard.

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18 comments
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Danielle Russell
Danielle Russell

Obama is not the AC, but he's definitely a tiny 'shimmer' of The Coming World Leader (or Nimrod II) who I believe will be an Assyrian. Kissinger did state, before Obama became President, that Obama would eventually be one of the leaders of the new world order. I believe that Obama is nothing more than a vessel of dishonor, that God allowed to become President. We're getting what we deserve with Obama just like Germany got what they deserve with Hitler and so on throughout history. 

Creepyhaha
Creepyhaha

Wow could I have found a more idiotic forum,here it is plain and simple.

righton101
righton101

Racist Idiot ?  Sounds like a pretty fair description of Obama to me !

urinformed
urinformed

when are you gonna change this ad ? 

geir s
geir s

Obama will have difficulty proving he's not the Antichrist because on the day of his victory news issue the lottery draw on Page 2 was 666 which is the Antichrist's number.

If Obama's not the Antichrist he has to show why heaven sent a sign of such freaky dimensions.

I have pictures of that page and news issue. geir.smith@yahoo.fr

#Handmade #Soap
#Handmade #Soap

Why Racist? Everything for this President is Racism when gets in hes way he can call people names and anything people does is racism aw tired of that cant wait to him get off the office If USA people was racist their not vote for American black and white president ,because he isint 100% black if hes mom was white no make any sense to me

Master G
Master G

Well said, this is exactly my point. I am a registered Independent voter and find it extremely fascinating that everytime an informed person makes an observation about politics, they are labeled with some sort of stupidity, (ei. racist); especially from the left. I have noticed that a comment from the left is usually followed by aggressive, and sometimes violent, action instead of inteligent conversation; just watch those nuts on the news in Wisconsin, etc. Even more fascinating, they will accuse the right of doing exactly what I see liberals do. A perfect example is the Tea Party. I never saw anyone with a racist or violent agenda at their get-togethers. But the left will invariably find something to create diversion and it is always the "race card". Please, for your own dignity, bring up a fact once and awhile !!!

Manlyman
Manlyman

Isn't there anyone in "Lefty Communist Land" to refute or challenge my opinions of our current White House staff ? (hired help). I have already given some of you a lesson with the facts, but, I didn't think my information was incontestable or incontrovertible. Please feel free to comment with information; not emotion. Maybe ZZZ should wake up and, at the very least, acknowledge their ass waxing, so I can LOL. Don't be intimidated by the overwhelming support online for my commentary, you gave it your best; try again.

mobeta
mobeta

I agree, he can't be the Antichrist; he also can't be an alien for the same reason. Aliens are far ahead of us with their inteligence. So, that would automatically exclude obama.

Joe blouse
Joe blouse

Obama couldn't possibly be the antiChrist. The devil is way too smart to possess a "dumb-ass" like obama who thinks there are 57 states in America ! Then again, a muslim wouldn't know that anyway. So actually, muslim is a much better fit barack HUSSEIN obama.

Manlyman
Manlyman

Another fact for your barack obummer files before everyone starts asking the question, "How did he get into Harvard" ? His father also went to Harvard, through affirmative action, but dropped out as most do if they can't cut it. He was also given free tuition plus room & board. So, where is the the big surprise if obummer got the same ? It is very common for minorities to get a hand-out. Even if they don't meet the stiff requirements as some others have to. I know this because, I worked in the college system for 20 yrs. Fact !

LOLZZZ
LOLZZZ

Apparently the "college system" is handing out jobs to retards now. Congrats Manlyman, keep polishing those classrooms floors and keep the urinal cakes fresh!

Manlyman2
Manlyman2

Someone apparently couldn't tolerate a truthful comment and had my reply to LOLZZZ removed. You should have removed the racist remark from LOLZZZ; insultng the hard working minorities in our college system whom have to settle for "urinal cakes". Just because a person has to perform a menial task, it shouldn't raise cause for redicule or insult ! LOLZZZ should, at the very least, learn to improve their language skills and join in on good deliberation instead of resorting to a useless, ignorant and primative impulse !!! What does LOL stand for anyway? "Lump of Lard" ! I am sure that ZZZ means they are asleep most of the day ! PS, Thank ME for another genious comment.

Manlyman
Manlyman

In your haste to judge without any "facts",and not that it is any of your business, I was the director of financial aid. Once again, you have proven my point about lefties ! The facts I brought up about obummer are documented and written in his book; which someone else wrote for him. The "retards", as you say, whom mop and clean toilets, were generally your coloreds and illegals. Nice going Idiot !

Master G
Master G

Alright Manlyman ! You tore LOL a new one !! It must have been aspleep at the wheel, ZZZ !!! You should run for office, you got my vote !!!!

Master G
Master G

Anyone can question a person about what ever they want, even if they are black. This stupidity of racism which comes from the left all the time has become a very boring and futile attempt to keep people quiet. Do you really believe for a minute that you're convincing anyone, besides liberals, to fall for your moronic propaganda. I will always say or ask whatever I please ! I certainly don't need you to suggest anything on my behalf ! The truth is that obummer has gotten in over his head and doesn't know what he is doing; not because he is black or half black, it is because he is an IDIOT !

Matt
Matt

haha funny

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