Board of Supervisors: What Kind of Dog Would They Be?

Categories: Animals, Politics
This took us literally all afternoon to make.

Earlier this week, city supervisors voted 10 to 1 to oppose the Golden Gate National Recreational Area's proposal to severely restrict dog owners from walking their pups off-leash in certain parts of San Francisco, namely Fort Funston and Ocean Beach.

Based on the overwhelming support for off-leash areas, you'd think most of the supervisors had their own pooches to walk. So we called to find out which ones are dog lovers.

It turns out most of the supes don't own animals. Between board meetings and campaign fundraisers, they don't have time to give pets the love and attention they need.
But then we started wondering. If the city supes had dogs, what kind would they own? Better yet, what kind of dog would they be?

Here are some of our thoughts.

Scott Wiener: That's a no-brainer. As we've noted before, this long and lean 6-foot-7 supervisor can barely squeeze into his desk inside the board chambers. That alone makes him an Irish wolfhound. The majestic dog towers over all others in the canine world. Its awesome size and commanding appearance gives him a remarkable presence, despite his reputation for being meek.

David Chiu: Any kind of lapdog that could fit in Rose Pak's purse. If we had to pick one, we'd say maybe a chihuahua. This breed is extremely loyal and known for being affectionately manipulative.

John Avalos: Definitely a bloodhound. When these lovable dogs catch a scent of something, it's nearly impossible to get them to obey you.   

Jane Kim: The freshman supervisor is, without doubt, an American foxhound. Aside from ignoring basic commands, this breed is difficult to train because of its independence. And you should never, ever trust one off-leash.

Ross Mirkarimi: A Rottweiler. While the breed has gotten negative publicity over the years, these dogs might just be misunderstood. A quick search online tells us the rott is a calm, confident, and daring dog with a self-assured aloofness that makes him hard to warm up to. More importantly, this breed needs to be carefully trained so he doesn't attack for no good reason.

David Campos: Campos doesn't just have an English bulldog named Winston, he is an English bulldog named Winston.As one of the few supes who owns a pup, it's no coincidence that man and his best friend share the same temperament: stubborn and determined. Whether it's chasing a cat off the lawn or calling the city out on a procurement procedure, this breed will never give up.

So that leaves Supervisors Sean Elsbernd, Malia Cohen, Mark Farrell, Carmen Chu, and Eric Mar. What kind of dogs do you think they would be? Leave a comment and let us know.

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Time to get these people out of office then. I'll be asking Malia Cohen to come to my street and scrub off all the dog urine from the houses, pavements, and trees that the dog lovers have put there until my street stops smelling like a portable toilet at a concert in Golden Gate Park. Better scrub good, Malia, because dozens of dogs are using it as a toilet several times a day and no one, not the city, nor the doggers, who don't pay an extra dime, are taking responsibility for it. I watched one of Sherbert's beloved "pups" in his progress on one block of 20th Street yesterday, lifting its leg and shooting a toxic stream of urine on every other fence, entryway, tree and pavement. People live in these places and will be living with that stink all the time. This was on 20th Street, so Malia, best stop there, too. Dogs are noisy, filthy, and often as obnoxious as their self-entitled owners, and if possible, more vicious and unpredictable. Anything that comes out of a dog belongs in the dog owner's home, period.

So take note, all you other non-doggers, of whom your supervisors are listening to. Not to you. Pay special attention to SFDOG and their minions like Sherbert, because they want you out of the streets and parks so their dogs have more space. And all the rest of us who pay the price for dogs (in the city taxes, hosing off their garage doors, being chased by unmonitored dogs in parks, hitting our brakes as they run out in front of cars, endless obnoxious barking, whining, and yelping -- if we don't fight back, then we deserve what we get.

Rob DeWhitt
Rob DeWhitt

 no matter where you go there is always some one like you in the crowd.dogs behave the way they are tought.if you dont have the ability to trane them right,than you should not have them,same thing with guns,guns are not bad ,pepole are bad,dogs same way,pepole are the problum not the dogs.

Canine Truth Police
Canine Truth Police

Eurydice - If you would just remember to change your underwear once in a while I'm pretty sure that smell thingy would clear up...


LOL........boy you have no shortage of hate. Yuk.I will keep my three dogs away from your smell street and you smell I'm sure. Yuk.

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