It's Your Super Bowl Drinking Game

Categories: Sports
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America's national excuse for going on a bender the night before a new workweek is upon us. Super Bowl Sunday is nigh, and if you needed a more organized drinking regimen than "imbibe when your team wins, loses, or draws" then you've come to the right place.

SMALL SIPS

  • Mentions of: Vince Lombardi; cheese; Troy Polomalu's hair; Maurkice Pouncey's ankle; "Big Ben"; the "Steel Curtain"; grainy clips of Terry Bradshaw, Franco Harris, Lynn Swann, Bart Starr, Brett Favre, and, of course, Max McGee

  • Announcer uses iteration of statement "Big players make big plays in big games"

  • Super Bowl commercial employs scatological humor

  • Announcer or coach uses term "football" when "ball" -- or nothing -- would do just as well (examples: "He's got to catch the football there" or "This is a great football team.")

  • Athlete says "It is what it is" 

Max McGee.jpg
Mad Max is the man
MEDIUM SIPS



  • Aerial shots of closed dome in lovely Arlington, Texas

  • Cheeseheads!

  • Announcer or coach uses term "warrior"

  • A Lambeau Leap!

BIG SIPS


  • Max McGee's hangover during Super Bowl I is mentioned

  • Max McGee's death by falling off of a roof is mentioned

  • Athlete mentions Jesus Christ

  • Jesus Christ mentions athlete

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...With Leon Lett as 'The Idiot'
B.J. RAJI-SIZED SIPS

  • Announcer references Dostoevsky

  • Mention is made of a player being respected by his teammates because of his oversize genitalia

  • Dropkick is attempted

  • Dropkick is attempted by player with oversize genitalia in manner eerily similar to passage from Crime and Punishment

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h. brown
h. brown

Where you been, sailor?

Erin's OK on day to day breaking news but she has no sports reference correlative. On the game? We can't lose. These are the best run of all the franchises. Green Bay is actually owned by the people. Pittsburg is not only the most successful Super Bowl era team but got that way by giving actual job security to coaches. Whomever wins, it's a victory for the good guys.

Did you see Evans still trying to sell the crap that it was a good idea to keep Posey in the minors and stay with Molina last year? What a load. They're setting up the exact same situation with Brandon Belt. He's even using the exact same words: Belt has to "force' his way onto the Major League team.

Sabean must prefer the aroma of sweat off the jocks of 35 year old players.

h.

Daly's Dive at 8pm

h.

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