It's Your Super Bowl Drinking Game
Categories: Sports
America's national excuse for going on a bender the night before a new workweek is upon us. Super Bowl Sunday is nigh, and if you needed a more organized drinking regimen than "imbibe when your team wins, loses, or draws" then you've come to the right place.
SMALL SIPS
MEDIUM SIPS
BIG SIPS
B.J. RAJI-SIZED SIPS
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SMALL SIPS
- Mentions of: Vince Lombardi; cheese; Troy Polomalu's hair; Maurkice Pouncey's ankle; "Big Ben"; the "Steel Curtain"; grainy clips of Terry Bradshaw, Franco Harris, Lynn Swann, Bart Starr, Brett Favre, and, of course, Max McGee
- Announcer uses iteration of statement "Big players make big plays in big games"
- Super Bowl commercial employs scatological humor
- Announcer or coach uses term "football" when "ball" -- or nothing -- would do just as well (examples: "He's got to catch the football there" or "This is a great football team.")
- Athlete says "It is what it is"
 |
| Mad Max is the man |
- Look at that! The old Mean Joe Greene Coca-Cola commercial!
- The term "frozen tundra" is rolled out.
- Aerial shots of closed dome in lovely Arlington, Texas
- Cheeseheads!
- Announcer or coach uses term "warrior"
- A Lambeau Leap!
BIG SIPS
- Ben Roethlisberger's disgraceful off-field behavior is mentioned
- Max McGee's hangover during Super Bowl I is mentioned
- Max McGee's death by falling off of a roof is mentioned
- Athlete mentions Jesus Christ
- Jesus Christ mentions athlete
 |
| ...With Leon Lett as 'The Idiot' |
- Announcer references Dostoevsky
- Mention is made of a player being respected by his teammates because of his oversize genitalia
- Dropkick is attempted
- Dropkick is attempted by player with oversize genitalia in manner eerily similar to passage from Crime and Punishment
Follow us on Twitter at @SFWeekly and @TheSnitchSF
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