Juice Thieves Walk Among Us

Can't buy me love ... but can steal me juice

​Taking candy from a baby is still a crime in San Francisco -- and, the way things are going, soon giving candy to a baby will be actionable here as well.

But stealing healthful beverages from children is definitely against the law. And kitchen staff at Visitacion Valley Middle School last week discovered a discrepancy while doing inventory after the lengthy Christmas break. The police were then summoned to document the loss of 23 bottles of water and 16 bottles of juice -- estimated value: 43 bucks.

Jonathan Franks, the school's kitchen manager, says only he and the janitor have keys to the storage room in question. He doubts anyone could have slipped through the windows, as they're barred on both sides.

Franks is unsure if the thieves made off with the bottles of water and Tree-Top-brand juice in one fell swoop or over the course of many days while the school was abandoned during the holiday season. But he has a surprise for the miscreant or miscreants -- you're on film.

A security camera, in fact, points directly at the door to Room 209. Police have had possession of the potentially damning footage for a week now. But Franks hasn't heard a peep as to what they've seen.

In the meantime, he assures SF Weekly that the children in his charge did not go thirsty.

"We still have water and juice for these kids," he says. "And we're serving them milk, also."

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