Brian Wilson Challenged to Brawl by Local Idiot

Categories: Sports, internets
Wilson and Arnold.jpg
Brian Wilson knows what's best in life: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women
The ascendancy of the San Francisco Giants has created an unexpected quandary. How much Brian Wilson is too much Brian Wilson?

For one local dim bulb, that question has already been answered. An Oakland A's fan claiming he was wronged by the Giants' quotable closer has spent good money on the web domain http://iwannafightbrianwilson.com. And guess what he wants to do?

The anonymous fan claims his quest to don gloves and box against a professional athlete stems from a May 23 incident at the Oakland Coliseum in which he was a dick to the opposing player.

Per the anonymous would-be brawler's website:

The A's were going for the sweep so I brought my broom with me. Our seats were about three rows up from the Giants bullpen. before (sic) the game started Brian Wilson walked up to our area and gave some giants (sic) fans some autographs, so I asked him if he could sign my broom "Cool Guy" since he thinks hes (sic) such a cool guy. I guess he picked up on my sarcasm and just looked at me with a get lost face. I continued to ask him to sign my broom "Cool Guy" so he moved over a little to square up with me and asked me, "Are YOU making fun of ME"? and after I laughed a little bit I said, "wow not just cool, your (sic) smart too". So at this point he got all heated up and said, "Who the hell are you", and challenged me to come on the field. ... So this is a formal invite for Brian Wilson to spar me in a legal boxing match in a boxing gym. Any gym he wants any time he wants.

Staci Slaughter, the Giants' vice president of communications, was not amused. When asked whether there was any way on God's green earth that the team would sanction its star pitcher brawling with an aggrieved fan, she calmly answered "Most likely, no." You think?

This, to her knowledge, is the first organized challenge to fight with a Giant.

When asked whether the team would approve of a nonviolent challenge -- a poetry slam, say, or a game of chess -- she declined to answer.

Since the boxing match will all but certainly not occur, fans have been denied the opportunity to ponder whether The Machine would be Wilson's cornerman.

H/T   |   Crazy Crabbers

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7 comments
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Chrissy
Chrissy

Sounds like the oakland A fan can dish it out, but he can't take it. Maybe he's just sour because the Giants fans have the best pitching staff in the league. And oh yeah, who won the world series?? Go Giants!!

Jo Qatana
Jo Qatana

Are you going to credit Sir Terry Pratchett for the photo caption?

Mark
Mark

@ the anonymous idiot: Seriously dude??? Do you have ANY IDEA how incredibly physically fit Brian Wilson is? He could just jump around the ring while you flail away at him ... when you've thrown a few punches and your arms feel like they're made of lead, he would then calmly walk up to you and bloody your ignorant nose ... if you're lucky, you won't experience a brain injury from his fist going through the front of your paper mache face ... geez, you're such a numb nuts ...

Crazy Crabbers
Crazy Crabbers

Thanks for the h/t at the bottom. Glad that you caught the news.

Adm Chrysler
Adm Chrysler

"Anonymous would-be brawler"? This reporter must be an idiot that doesn't know how to do a whois on the domain.

Nick Surpaknockout5151@yahoo.com14525 Pinewood Dr.Lathrop, California 95330United States(209) 275-2679

Joshua
Joshua

That would be hilarious comedy to witness! "loser has to shave their beard off!"

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