World Series: Yelpers Ponder Which Giant to Sex Up

By Joe Eskenazi Wed., Oct. 27 2010 at 11:30 AM

Categories: Sexytime, Sports, internets

Other than enabling horrible people to act like rock stars and allegedly extorting businesses, it turns out there's a really good use for Yelp: rating the allure of San Francisco Giants ballplayers.

The example in question is a most titillating thread titled "Which San Francisco Giant Would You Date" -- though the real question is "Which San Francisco Giant Would Date You?"

In any event, here are some of our favorite pronouncements:

Wow...could it be someone that is kinda peripheral...like Renel or something? At the very least Tim Lincecum since he's clearly the most feminine.

brian wilson, tim lincecum, madison bumgarner, jonathan sanchez, andres torres, freddy sanchez, cody ross & buster posey. in that order. i'm just in love with the whole damn team!

Right now? Cody Ross. mmm mmm love the bald and the beard.... most girls I know get freaked out when he screams. I think it's hot...

Cody is a sweetheart....He would be dating material.

Everyone scores on Zito...

Timmy's ideal, but a bit TOO young for me. I'd have to go for the original edition, Barry Zito. And Whiteside - DANG! That backup catcher is fine!

Brian Wilson or Timmy, since I bet Timmy has some killer weed.

Bengie, since he was *just* a Giant. If he doesn't qualify anymore, I'll take B-Weezy obvs.

Chili Davis

This one is easy. I'd go with the highest paid Giant, Barry Zito. He's rich, handsome, and he sucks.

I'll settle for whomever signs my ball this Wed.

And, our very favorite:

Tim Lincecum (get me mellow), Cody Ross (he can hit it), Jonathan Sanchez (magic with his small hands), Brian Wilson (can throw me around), Pablo Sandoval (cuddly), Tim again to start me up, and then Brian WIlson again to finish me off... in that order.

Play ball!

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