Shirtless Man Accused of Bizarre Vandalism

The shirtless man has an impressive resume of alleged criminality

​When scouring the police reports, you've always got to keep an eye out for the inevitable appearance of the "shirtless man." There's no dress code for alleged wrongdoing -- but no-collar criminals do seem to produce some of the most creative work.

Take an incident this week on the 200 block of Stillings in Glen Park. A woman was jolted awake at 1:30 in the morning by a serenade of hooting and shouting by "three men running around yelling and knocking over garbage cans and picking them back up."

The "picking them back up" part is interesting here. It's one thing for early morning horseplay to escalate into knocking over a trash can. But when you repeatedly knock down and set up trash cans, then this was evidently an end in and of itself.

It's at this point that the shirtless man makes his appearance. A Caucasian gent described as a Tim Lincecum-like 6-foot-1, 160-pounds and 20 to 25 years of age apparently grew tired with garbage cans. He scampered up the hood of a car and "jumped on the windshield, causing damage to the vehicle."

The suspects in this Wednesday morning bout of good, old-fashioned mishegoss are still at large. Though, one would suspect, no longer shirtless.

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