Giants First Pitch -- Three Hours of Pretending to Work Commences

Categories: Sports
Thumbnail image for Giants baseball torture.jpg
The pregame flyover jets rattled Mission Bay, heroes of the 2002 World Series team -- including one Barry Lamar Bonds -- tossed out ceremonial first pitches, and Matt Cain has just retired the side in order.

It's day baseball -- and much of San Francisco will either not work, half-ass it at work, or otherwise deplete the city's productivity.

Weekday games during working hours is a baseball tradition. Accordingly, so is listening to the game on a radio -- which we're doing -- and spending a good deal more than 51 percent of our brainpower contemplating baseball. Writing this paragraph took five minutes. That's what we mean by a lack of productivity.

When it comes to baseball traditions, we usually find ourselves on the conservative side. In our book, it's white uniforms at home and gray on the road. The Designated Hitter is an abomination. Long baseball pants look like pajamas; stirrups are classy.

But postseason day baseball is something we're not sure about. Suddenly we're working more slowly than Orel Hershiser with a man on base and it feels like someone injected adrenaline into our spines. That's a nasty combo. Eight innings to go.

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