Mayoral Candidate Harold Miller Wants to Teach Asians to 'Look Blacks in the Eye'

Categories: Politics
Harld Miller for mayor.jpg
An unknown number of San Franciscans received an introduction to one Harold Miller yesterday, when the little-known mayoral candidate sent out an e-mail illuminating the masses on just how he'd clean up this town.

When Miller rails against the "crazy laws the Board of Supervisors put on the books," or how he wants "anyone in LOVE to marry," it's hard to imagine many San Franciscans disagreeing with him. But when he addresses the solution to black-on-Asian violence, Miller takes a turn for the surreal:

I don't have to wait to deal with that problem, I am dealing with it now as President of Sunnydale Tenants Association and I have been trying to set-up a meeting with Ms Rose Pak of the Asian community to teach her people to look Blacks in the eye as a sign of respect, which is all the young kids who are doing these attack say they want.

Miller follows this up with a truly novel approach to keeping the San Francisco 49ers within city limits -- or not:

As San Francisco mayor candidate I have been in talks with the N.F.L. about starting a new San Francisco 49er team and the name of the team will be the "San Francisco 1849ers" and the city will own the team and the franchises , and when ever I get Jerry rice's phone number I will be giving him a call and all of the so-called retired 49ers will get back their jobs and with open tryouts of any San Franciscan who wants to be on the team , in our brand new stadium, now how you like me now ?
This team will be so profitable, he claims, it will do away with a need for Jeff Adachi's pension reform measure.

Harold Miller and company.jpg
This photo of mayoral candidate Harold Miller, left, appears on his website. We have no idea why.
Other policy statements from candidate Harold Miller -- one of 13 city residents who has so far filed a declaration of intention to run for mayor:

  • My number one goal is to get the homeless off our streets and into a safehouse in 7 days from taking office.  Second, no more beggars at intersections and if you see one you will be asked to call an 800 number and they will be dealt with within the hour.

  • I will put 15 mins more time on our parking meters. Bring the price of a bus ticket back to 50 cents and put every bus we have back on the road and hire new drivers to drive those buses.

  • I am running for MAYOR  of San Francisco to put money back into the peoples pocket, by lowering fines and parking fees and tickets, and TAXES, and  by selling what ever the developers want, we are getting killed by saving all of this rich waterfront land and for what, so we all can be homeless, but with a great view of the Golden Gate Bridge???? I'm real easy to get along with.

Our calls and e-mails to Miller hoping to go into a bit more depth on these plans -- and determine whether he really, seriously wants 47-year-old Jerry Rice to star on an expansion San Francisco football franchise Miller claims will be profitable enough to stave off massive pension obligations -- have not yet been returned.

Update: Harold Miller called us back after we finished this story but before it went live on the Internet. So here are the answers to all of your burning questions.

Regarding the "teach her people to look blacks in the eye," statement, Miller says this comes up repeatedly during town hall meetings in the Southeast of San Francisco. "It's one of the reasons that black people are so angry at the Chinese. They disrespect them by looking at their feet or away from them." Miller says he's not justifying this behavior, however: "You're talking about young guys and their attitude ... if you're going to mug somebody, you mug someone who disrespects you.  ... If you disrespect them, they're going to mug you. Just ignore them and get the hell out of there. They are looking for trouble."

Miller doesn't want Dancing with the Stars champ Jerry Rice to trade in his mustard-colored Hall of Fame blazer for a red-and-white 49ers jersey. That'd be crazy. No, he wants Rice as the coach of his expansion San Francisco 1849ers. "I need a well-known coach. I need the seats filled in old Candlestick Park and I think he can do that. It's the same thing that happened when Magic took over the Lakers."  

Finally, while "they will be dealt with within the hour" sounds draconian, Miller explains he means a homeless outreach van will contact the panhandler and give him or her the food or shelter vouchers necessary to get off the street. These vans can be driven by erstwhile homeless people in need of jobs.

Miller is a former taxi driver who currently finds himself unemployed. The photo of him with the foxy ladies is "my campaign manager Ching Quan and his cousins or something." 

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